What Shall We Call Ourselves? Last Names Among Lesbian,Gay, and Heterosexual Couples and Their Adopted Children

ABSTRACT

Choices of last names for both adults and children are important family decisions that are often made upon marriage or upon the birth of a child. The gendered nature of such choices among heterosexual populations is well known, but they have not been widely studied among lesbian or gay populations. We studied selection of last names among 106 adoptive families—27 headed by lesbian couples, 29 headed by gay couples, and 50 headed by heterosexual couples—all of whom had adopted children at birth or in the first weeks of life. Whether in selection of last names for adults or for children, we found that heterosexual adoptive couples were more likely than lesbian and gay adoptive couples to follow patronymic conventions. Thus, heterosexual parents and their children were most likely to have identical last names. For lesbian and gay couples, in contrast, the most common scenario was for both adults to retain last names given to them at birth and hyphenate them to create last names for their children. Parents in lesbian and gay couples offered more detailed explanations of their choices than did those in heterosexual couples. Explanations offered by heterosexual parents were most likely to refer to tradition, but those given by same-sex parents were more likely to mention egalitarian or practical considerations. Overall, we found that same-sex and other-sex couples took very different approaches to the problem of naming themselves and their children.     

A Comparative Analysis of Adoptive Family Functioning with Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Parents and Their Children

Abstract

The objectives of this comparative study were to examine adoptive family functioning with a sample of gay, lesbian, and heterosexual adoptive parents and their children. The results suggested that parent sexual orientation is not a significant predictor of adoptive family functioning, adopted child's behavior, and parent's perceptions of helpfulness from family support networks. Furthermore, a regression analysis suggested the following variables were associated with higher levels of family functioning: adoptive parents who were previously foster parents and children who had more previous placements prior to adoption. Lower family functioning was associated with children adopted through CPS; with children who had mental health diagnoses, learning disorders, or other handicapping conditions; and with children who were in a higher grade in school. The results of this comparative study of adoptive families support the need for more methodologically rigorous research that includes gay and lesbian adoptive parents along with heterosexual parents.     

Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents

ABSTRACT

The purpose of this paper is to review the research literature concerning the development of children with gay and lesbian parents. It begins by discussing some of the social, theoretical, and legal implications of studying this population, and critiques a number of the assumptions guiding this research. The review then proceeds to include studies on children of divorced lesbian and gay parents, as well as studies conducted on children of gay and lesbian families that are planned. The body of literature generally concludes that children with lesbian and gay parents are developing psychologically, intellectually, behaviorally, and emotionally in positive directions, and that the sexual orientation of parents is not an effective or important predictor of successful child development. The paper also includes a discussion of the limitations of these studies, provides suggestions for future research, and discusses the challenge these families pose for the meaning and definition of family.     

Sexism,Heterosexism, and Attributions About Undesirable Behavior in Children of Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Parents

SUMMARY

Existing research on heterosexuals' attitudes toward gay and lesbian parenting typically focuses on heterosexuals' views about whether or not gay men and lesbians should be parents. Although a significant literature describes positive outcomes for actual gay and lesbian parenting, research has not specifically examined the effect of these attitudes on heterosexuals' evaluations of parenting skills, competency in parenting situations, or attributions about behavior in children of lesbian and gay parents. Two hundred twenty participants responded to a series of vignettes describing a restaurant scene in which two parents respond to their child's public tantrum. Sexual orientation and gender of the active parent in the heterosexual condition were varied. Heterosexism, evaluation of parenting skills, and attributions for child's behavior were assessed. Unexpectedly, gay male parenting skills were rated most positively, and heterosexual parenting skills (where a woman was the active parent) most negatively. Both traditional and modern heterosexism predicted negative evaluations in the same-sex parenting conditions with modern heterosexism (denial of continued discrimination) explaining a larger portion of the variance in several outcome measures. It is suggested that differences in gender role expectations for men and women encourage excessive praise for men who interact with children and condemnation of women who disappoint unrealistic expectations.     

Social and Demographic Characteristics of Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Adults with and Without Children

SUMMARY

This is the first study to compare lesbian mothers (n = 150), lesbians without children (n = 236), heterosexual mothers (n = 175), heterosexual women without children (n = 38), gay fathers (n = 40), gay men without children (n = 163), heterosexual fathers (n = 157), and heterosexual men without children (n = 32) on social and demographic characteristics. Demographic differences included age, education, length of relationship, religion, and geographic location. Only 28% of gay fathers and 37% of lesbian mothers had at least one child from their current relationship. For women the most important factor in predicting contact with family of origin was sexual orientation, while for men it was parenting status. More gay and lesbian parents had disclosed their sexual orientation than those without children. Gay fathers reached most milestones in the coming-out process between 2.5 and 4 years later than gay men without children, while lesbian mothers reached all milestones in the coming-out process 3 to 5 years later than lesbians without children. Lesbian mothers who had children before coming out reached developmental milestones 4 to 8 years later than lesbian mothers who had children after coming out.     

Adoption of Black children by White parents in heterosexual and homosexual relationships: Exploring mental health trainees' explicit and implicit attitudes

ABSTRACT

We investigated 163 (82.2% female; 73% White; and 91.4% heterosexual) mental health trainees' explicit and implicit attitudes toward heterosexual, lesbian, and gay White couples adopting and raising Black children. Explicit attitudes were assessed with a vignette depicting a Black child in need of a home. Implicit attitudes were assessed with the multifactor implicit association test (IAT) protocol. Explicit data showed that most participants indicated no strong family preference. However, IAT data showed that most trainees had implicit preference, with a moderate preference for lesbian couples over heterosexual couples and a moderate-to-strong preference for lesbian couples over gay couples. The trainees only demonstrated a very weak preference for heterosexual couples over gay couples. Overall, congruence between explicit and implicit is very low. Implications for training are discussed.     

Contact Between Birth and Adoptive Families During the First Year Post-Placement: Perspectives of Lesbian,Gay, and Heterosexual Parents

Despite growing visibility of lesbian- and gay-parent adoption, only one qualitative study has examined birth family contact among adoptive families with lesbian and gay parents (Goldberg, Kinkler, Richardson, & Downing, 2011). We studied adoptive parents’ (34 lesbian, 32 gay, and 37 heterosexual; N = 103 families) perspectives of birth family contact across the first year post-placement. Using questionnaire and interview data, we found few differences in openness dynamics by parental sexual orientation. Most reported some birth mother contact, most had legally finalized their adoption, and few described plans to withhold information from children. We discuss implications for clinical practice, policy, and research.     

Developmentalism and the Rhetoric of Best Interests of the Child

Abstract

The foster care system in Australia has recently recognised the importance of encouraging lesbians and gay men to become foster carers. Whilst this may be seen as an important step towards overcoming social stereotypes that position lesbians and gay men as unfit parents, I propose that foster care public policy in Australia is shaped by a number of key assumptions that effectively exclude lesbian and gay foster parents. In particular, I focus on how the logic of developmentalism [where children are assumed to follow a (hetero)normative developmental pathway] and the rhetoric of best interests of the child (within which a particular moral framework is employed to judge who can and who cannot protect children) work to recenter a normative understanding of families and parenting that encourages lesbians and gay parents to adopt a heterosexual model of parenting.     

Are Gay and Lesbian cohabiting couples really different from heterosexual married couples?

Both partners from gay and lesbian cohabiting couples without children were compared longitudinally with both partners from heterosexual married couples with children (N at first assessment = 80, 53, and 80 couples, respectively) on variables from 5 domains indicative of relationship health. For 50% of the comparisons, gay and lesbian partners did not differ from heterosexual partners. Seventy‐eight percent of the comparisons on which differences were found indicated that gay or lesbian partners functioned better than heterosexual partners did. Because the variables that predicted concurrent relationship quality and relationship stability for heterosexual parents also did so for gay and lesbian partners, I conclude that the processes that regulate relationship functioning generalize across gay, lesbian, and heterosexual couples.     

Youth Perspectives on Being Adopted from Foster Care by Lesbian and Gay Parents: Implications for Families and Adoption Professionals

ABSTRACT

This article presents findings from a qualitative study on the perspectives of youth who were adopted from the United States foster care system by lesbian and gay parents and includes focus group data from adopted persons and survey data from adoptive parents. This study fills a unique gap in the literature by hearing directly from the youth through focus groups. Findings indicated that children use a variety of strategies for sharing or not sharing that their parents are gay or lesbian and that many experience bullying and teasing that may be different than experienced by other children. The children adopted by lesbian and gay parents often perceive themselves as being more accepting of others, having more understanding of people, and being more compassionate toward people than those not raised by lesbian or gay parents. Suggestions are provided for training of adoption professionals and prospective families about the challenges and benefits for youth adopted by lesbian and gay parents.     

The Attitudes of Australian Heterosexuals Toward Same-Sex Parents

SUMMARY

This is the first study of attitudes of Australian heterosexuals toward heterosexual, gay male, and lesbian parents and the children raised by these parents. A sample of Australian heterosexual males and females read one of six vignettes describing a family situation. Participants assessed the parents' emotional stability, responsibility, and competence; how loving, sensitive, and nurturing they were; the amount of quality time they spent with their child; and their ability to be good role models. Results indicated participants held negative attitudes toward gay male and lesbian same-sex parents. Participants believed that children raised by same-sex parents are more likely to experience confusion over their sexual orientation and gender identity, more likely to be homosexual, and more likely to experience strained peer relationships as well as stigma and teasing than children raised by heterosexual parents. Level of sexual prejudice was the key predictor of attitudes toward same-sex parents and the expected outcomes for their children. Being male, older, and having fewer children were additional predictors of attitudes towards same-sex parents, whereas being older and less religious was associated with expected negative outcomes for the children. Substantial attitudinal shifts are required before gay male and lesbian parents and their children are fully accepted into Australian communities.     

Parent-Child Interaction Styles Between Gay and Lesbian Parents and Their Adopted Children

SUMMARY

While myths exist that call into question the parenting ability of gay and lesbian parents as well as the impact of such parenting on children in their care, there is an ever increasing body of literature that clearly demonstrates the capabilities of these parents with their birth children. However, there continues to be a dearth of research on gay and lesbian adoptive parents and their children. To address this deficiency in the literature, this article explores the parenting styles of gay and lesbian adoptive parents and strengths of their children between the ages of 5–9 years (N = 94), using scores from the Parent-as-a-Teacher Inventory and the Behavioral and Emotional Rating Scale. Results illustrate that the gay and lesbian adoptive parents in this sample fell into the desirable range of the parenting scale and their children have strength levels equal to or exceeding the scale norms. Finally, various aspects of parenting style significantly predicted the adoptive parents' view of their child's level of care difficulty which subsequently predicted the type and level of strengths assessed within their adopted child. Recommendations for practice, policy and future research are highlighted.     

Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents

The purpose of this chapter is to review research literature concerning children of gay and lesbian parents. The review includes studies that compared children of lesbian mothers to children of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and varying aspects of psychological health and adjustment. Experiences and perceptions of children of gay fathers are also reviewed. The author's study found that adult-aged daughters of lesbian mothers did not significantly differ from adult daughters of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and social adjustment. Clinical and legal implications were drawn, and suggestions for future research were made.     

Lesbian and Gay Parents: Their Experiences of Children's Health Care in Australia

This study investigates the experiences of lesbian and gay parents seeking health care for their children within the Australian medical system. Previously unavailable demographic data was collected on lesbian and gay families, and qualitative information was sought from parents about positive or problematic health care experiences related to sexual orientation and family constellation. Ninety-two lesbian or gay parents responded to a national postal and Web-based survey. Eighty-nine percent of respondents reported a high level of satisfaction with the health care received by their children. Despite overall satisfaction, however, 49 percent of parents identified fear of disclosure of sexual orientation, and 27 percent reported negative or problematic experiences with their children's health care related to sexual orientation or family constellation. This study indicates that fear of discrimination and homophobic attitudes towards lesbian and gay families remain a factor within the Australian health care system.     

After coming out: Parental acceptance of young lesbian and gay people

This study examines extant scholarly knowledge on parental acceptance of young lesbian and gay people in traditional heteronormative families. Recent literature shows that parents generally accept their lesbian and gay children. However, parents do not always accept them immediately after they come out. Acceptance takes time, and transitioning to acceptance is often a complex process that depends on parents' access to the necessary resources for coping with the stresses of knowing that their child identifies as lesbian or gay. These resources include counseling or therapy, supportive friends and extended family, and a network of other parents with lesbian and gay children. This study also highlights the need for further research on parental acceptance in nontraditional families and of children with other nonheterosexual identities, such as asexuality, gray ace, bisexuality, or pansexuality. It also calls for an exploration of the complexities of parental acceptance as an ongoing process rather than as a singular event.     

Family violence laws: Traditional narratives and the (in)visibility of lesbian relationships and lesbian-parented families

Abstract

Feminist advocacy and activism over the last 40 years broke historic ground in shining a light on “domestic” or “family” violence, traditionally conceptualized as male violence against female intimate partners and their children. This has resulted in a large body of research, particularly in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, and similar jurisdictions, around the gendered nature of family violence and violence within heterosexual relationships and heterosexual-parented families. As a consequence, the predominant narrative—in political, policy, and advocacy settings—is largely heteronormative. Less research has focused on family violence in non-heterosexual relationships. The data that do exist have employed different methodological approaches and there are limitations on the extent to which they can be compared to the data on violence within heterosexual relationships. However, the existing research does demonstrate that family violence within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex (LGBTI) communities is a significant issue. Even so, the current narrative does not acknowledge this, and predominantly reflects heterosexual norms of intimate relationships and family structures in society. LGBTI relationships are described as “invisible” in policy and practice responses to family violence, due to the failure to acknowledge violence in such communities. This article explores these claims in relation to lesbian relationships in the context of Australian legislative responses to family violence. It considers the extent to which family violence laws in two Australian jurisdictions recognize and frame lesbian identity in intimate relationships and lesbian-parented families. This is considered in light of the emerging conceptualization of family violence in lesbian relationships and lesbian-parented families, as evidenced by the wider scholarly literature on the nature and dynamics of such violence.     

Difference and Diversity:

Some therapists believe that they should treat gay and lesbian couples ôjust like heterosexual couples.ö Others hold the view that same-sex couples are completely different from heterosexual couples and that only specially trained therapist can work with them. This paper is an attempt to over come the lack of information about gay and lesbian couple by describing the differences between heterosexual couples and homosexual couples; differences between gay couples and lesbian couples; diversity within both lesbian couples and gay couples; and the therapeutic implications of these differences. The discussion of differences has powerful political implications and is embedded within a larger context of belief systems about gender and sexual orientation. Therapist needs to protect against categorizing, essentializing, or over generalizing about gay and lesbian couples. Although heterosexism, homophobia, and sexism affect the dynamics of all gay and lesbian relationships, it is important to recognize that age, class, race, ethnicity, and physical ability, as well as the dynamics of each individual couple, make each relationship unique. The therapist, whether lesbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual, should be familiar with issues specific to lesbian and gay experience within the dominant society, and, at the same time, be attuned to the idiosyncratic nature of individual couples.     

Choosing to be Childfree: Research on the Decision Not to Parent

Decisions about whether to have or rear children, as well as perceptions of people who choose not to parent are linked to a variety of social processes and identities. We review literature from a variety of disciplines that focuses on voluntarily childless adults. Early research in this area, emerging in the 1970s, focused almost exclusively on heterosexual women and utilized a childless rather than a childfree framework. Later work saw a shift to a “childless‐by‐choice” or “childfree” framework, emphasizing that for some, not being parents is an active choice rather than an accident. While more recent research includes lesbian women and gay and heterosexual men, greater diversity within studies of adults without children is one suggested focus for future work in this area.     

Queering the Home

Abstract

In the West, the private sphere of the home is traditionally associated with the heterosexual nuclear family. Through social, cultural, and legal processes, the heterosexual bond has been constructed as central to the family home. Despite these dominant discourses, the home is also a space in which heteronormativity (or the unacknowledged assumption that heterosexuality is the natural and normal form of sexuality) may be subverted. This article considers how the domestic lives of lesbian and gay couples in England challenge the heteronormativity prevalent in dominant discourses of the home. Drawing on in-depth interviews with lesbians and gay men, the article continues to extend and build on the existing literature on queer domesticity by focusing on how lesbian and gay couples divide and understand domestic labor in their homes. The perceived normativity of coupled domesticity and childrearing means that on the one hand the lesbian and gay participants in this study could be seen to fit in with normative ideals of domestic family life. On the other hand, I show how these couples subvert heteronormative assumptions about gendered household practices through their approaches and attitudes towards domestic labor and parenting. In particular, the article focuses on the complex ways in which lesbian and gay couples destabilize traditional domestic gender roles and queer the spaces of the home through the seemingly unremarkable, mundane practices and negotiations of domestic labor and childcare.     

Becoming Lesbian Adoptive Parents

ABSTRACT

Legal, public policy, and social biases make the process of becoming a family difficult for lesbian and gay parents. Currently Massachusetts prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation against individuals who apply to become adoptive parents, and allows second parent adoptions enabling adults to adopt a partner's child. We surveyed lesbian adoptive parents, heterosexual adoptive parents, and lesbian parents who used assisted fertilization to determine if the adoption process is similar for lesbian and heterosexual couples, and if lesbian adoptive parents are similar to lesbian parents who use assisted fertilization. The adoption process was similar for both lesbian and heterosexual parents, but lesbian adoptive parents perceived more discrimination and were more inclined to omit information during the home study. Lesbian biological parents found conception, pregnancy and birth “easy.”