Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents

The purpose of this chapter is to review research literature concerning children of gay and lesbian parents. The review includes studies that compared children of lesbian mothers to children of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and varying aspects of psychological health and adjustment. Experiences and perceptions of children of gay fathers are also reviewed. The author's study found that adult-aged daughters of lesbian mothers did not significantly differ from adult daughters of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and social adjustment. Clinical and legal implications were drawn, and suggestions for future research were made.     

Intimate partner homicide methods in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian relationships

Previous research indicates that the killing method used in homicides may reflect the motivation of the offender and qualities of the victim-offender relationship. The effect of gender and sexual orientation of intimate partner homicide offenders (N = 51,007) was examined with respect to the brutality of killing methods. Guided by previous research and theory, it was hypothesized that homicide brutality will vary with the offender's sexual orientation and gender, such that the percentage of killings coded as brutal will be higher for (a) gay and lesbian relative to heterosexual relations, (b) men relative to women, (c) gay relative to heterosexual men, and (d) lesbian relative to heterosexual women. The rates of intimate partner homicide were also hypothesized to vary with the gender of the partners, such that (a) homicide rates will be higher in gay relative to heterosexual and lesbian couples and (b) homicide rates will be lowest in lesbian couples. The results support all but one prediction derived from the two hypotheses. We predicted that men would kill their partners more brutally than would women, but the results indicate that the opposite is true.     

‘Coming Out Tales’: Adult Sons and Daughters' Feelings About Their Gay Father's Sexual Identity

Coming out to their children is a dilemma that concerns many gay, bisexual, and lesbian parents with children from previous heterosexual relationships. How children found out about having a father who identified himself as gay, and their feelings about their father's sexual identity, were explored through qualitative analysis of semi‐structured interviews with 36 sons and daughters (aged 19 to 36 years) whose gay fathers participated in the Gay & Bisexual Parenting Survey (Barrett and Tasker, 2001). Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis revealed that awareness of their father's sexual identity was often left unspoken for various reasons, and that acceptance came about through gradual understanding as well as direct discussion. Interview data indicated the complexity of the relationship between the young adult's personal acceptance of their father's gay identity and their consideration of social context when deciding how open to be to others about their father's sexual identity. This research has varied implications for therapeutic work with gay and bisexual fathers coming out to their children from previous heterosexual relationships.     

Coming Out in a School Setting

Abstract

The present study was conducted to learn more about the experiences of gay men and lesbians in educational settings, particularly about experiences relevant to disclosure of their sexual orientation. One hundred six gay men and 156 lesbian women responded to an anonymous questionnaire dealing with how their sexual orientation had affected their experiences in school.

As students, very few respondents had chosen to disclose their sexual orientation to principals, teachers, counselors, or friends. Reasons cited for nondisclosure included fear of the consequences and not wanting others to know. The majority of those who did disclose their sexual orientation received positive feedback for doing so, but respondents reported both positive and negative consequences of coming out. Gay men were aware of their sexual orientation at an earlier age than lesbians and were somewhat more likely to recommend disclosure to principals and teachers. Females were more likely to disclose only to females, whereas males were likely to come out to both males and females. Generally, the similarities between males and females were greater than the differences, with both groups being cautious about coming out in the school setting.     

Sexism,Heterosexism, and Attributions About Undesirable Behavior in Children of Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Parents

SUMMARY

Existing research on heterosexuals' attitudes toward gay and lesbian parenting typically focuses on heterosexuals' views about whether or not gay men and lesbians should be parents. Although a significant literature describes positive outcomes for actual gay and lesbian parenting, research has not specifically examined the effect of these attitudes on heterosexuals' evaluations of parenting skills, competency in parenting situations, or attributions about behavior in children of lesbian and gay parents. Two hundred twenty participants responded to a series of vignettes describing a restaurant scene in which two parents respond to their child's public tantrum. Sexual orientation and gender of the active parent in the heterosexual condition were varied. Heterosexism, evaluation of parenting skills, and attributions for child's behavior were assessed. Unexpectedly, gay male parenting skills were rated most positively, and heterosexual parenting skills (where a woman was the active parent) most negatively. Both traditional and modern heterosexism predicted negative evaluations in the same-sex parenting conditions with modern heterosexism (denial of continued discrimination) explaining a larger portion of the variance in several outcome measures. It is suggested that differences in gender role expectations for men and women encourage excessive praise for men who interact with children and condemnation of women who disappoint unrealistic expectations.     

Birth Cohort Differences in Sexual Identity Development Milestones Among HIV-Negative Gay and Bisexual Men in the United States

The coming-out process for gay and bisexual men (GBM) involves crossing sexual identity development (SID) milestones: (1) self-awareness of sexual attraction to the same sex, (2) self-acceptance of an identity as gay or bisexual, (3) disclosure of this sexual identity to others, and (4) having sex with someone of the same sex. We examined trends in SID milestones by birth cohort in a 2015 U.S. national sample of GBM (n = 1,023). Birth cohort was independent of when men first felt sexually attracted to someone of the same sex (median age 11 to 12). However, with the exception of age of first same-sex attraction, older cohorts tended to pass other milestones at later ages than younger cohorts. Latent class analysis (LCA) of SID milestone patterns identified three subgroups. The majority (84%) began sexual identity development with same-sex attraction around the onset of puberty (i.e., around age 10) and progressed to self-identification, same-sex sexual activity, and coming out—in that order. The other two classes felt same-sex attraction during teen years (ages 12.5 to 18.0) but achieved the remaining SID milestones later in life. For 13% of men, this was during early adulthood; for 3% of men, this was in middle adulthood. Findings highlight the need to monitor ongoing generational differences in passing SID milestones.     

Sexual Orientation Moderates the Effect of Gender on Body Satisfaction: Results From a National Probability Sample

Body image concerns typically affect women more so than men, but there is reason to believe that this pattern may depend on sexual orientation. The present study examined differences in levels of body satisfaction among men and women who identified as heterosexual, plurisexual (bisexual and pansexual), gay, and lesbian, using data from a large-scale national probability sample from New Zealand (N = 17,005). As expected, heterosexual men reported higher body satisfaction than heterosexual women. Gay and plurisexual men reported lower body satisfaction than heterosexual men. Gay men also reported lower body satisfaction than lesbian women, and did not differ significantly from heterosexual and plurisexual women. Ratings of heterosexual, plurisexual, and lesbian women’s body satisfaction did not differ significantly. Results held when adjusting for a range of demographic covariates (including age and BMI), and highlight the importance of examining the psychological and health outcomes associated with poor body image among gay men. These findings emphasize the relevance of sexual orientation in understanding men’s body image-related issues.     

Effects of Sex,Sexual Orientation,Infidelity Expectations,and Love on Distress related to Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

The purpose of this study was to investigate the influence of participant sex, sexual orientation, infidelity expectations, and love on emotional responses to emotional and sexual infidelity. Participants (72 lesbian women, 114 heterosexual women, 53 gay men, and 57 heterosexual men) completed a demographic form, continuous emotion ratings in response to hypothetical infidelity scenarios, the Infidelity Expectations Questionnaire (IEQ), and the Triangular Love Scale. Sex, sexual orientation, and commitment and intimacy among partners were significant predictors of various emotional responses to sexual and emotional infidelity. Alternatively, passion among partners and expectations about a partner's likelihood of committing infidelity were not significant predictors of emotional reactions to infidelity. Across participants, sexual infidelity elicited more distressing feelings than emotional infidelity. Group differences were also found, with women responding with stronger emotions to emotional and sexual infidelity than men, and heterosexuals rating emotional and sexual infidelity as more emotionally distressing than lesbian and gay individuals. Sex and sexual orientation differences emerged regarding the degree to which specific emotions were reported in response to sexual and emotional infidelity. Clinical implications are offered, including how mental health professionals might use these findings to help clients cope with the negative effects of infidelity on romantic relationships.     

The comparison of attachment styles among Iranian lesbian,gay, and bisexual and heterosexual people

This study was conducted in order to compare the attachment styles of sexual minorities and their heterosexual counterparts. The study participants consisted of a non-probability sample of 62 lesbians and gay men (LG) and 13 bisexual men and women (mean age = 25.50, SD = 5.09) living in various cities in Iran. There were also 75 heterosexuals selected from the general population and matched with the study group based on age, sex, and educational level. Each person completed the Revised Adult Attachment Scale (RAAS) and a demographic data sheet. In addition, the groups of sexual minorities were also asked to address additional items related to their status as sexual minorities. The results showed that, compared to heterosexual participants, lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) people scored significantly higher on the anxiety subscale of RAAS. Among sexual minorities, there was no significant difference between bisexual and LG people's attachment styles. Also, those who were not satisfied with their orientation were less dependent and more anxious. Different developmental experiences and negative social attitudes toward LGB people could explain the more anxious attachment style in the LGB group.     

Sexual Behavior Changes Among Heterosexual,Lesbian and Gay Bar Patrons as Assessed by Questionnaire Over an 18-Month Period

Both an original and a follow-up questionnaire study of bar patrons in Greenwich Village, New York, ascertained concern about acquiring AIDS and resultant sexual behavioral changes. In 1986 (shortly before the Koop report), almost all of the gay men sampled, a majority of the lesbian and heterosexual women, but less than a quarter of the heterosexual men reported that a concern about AIDS had affected their sexual behavior. By 1987/88, almost all of the gay men and about 80% of heterosexual men, women and lesbians reported a sexual behavior change. The greatest specific behavioral changes between the studies involved increasing reports of declining casual sex (for all groups except the gay men, more than half of whom had reported this by the first study), and a greatly increased use of condoms by heterosexuals (who had rarely used them earlier) and by gay men (who had begun using them by 1986). Variables which predict heterosexual condom use for each gender are reported.     

Shifting the Focus:

Agencies that serve survivors of sexual violence have frequently failed to make services accessible to lesbians and gay men. Similarly, agencies serving lesbians and gay men have frequently overlooked the problem of sexual violence in this community. One hundred fort-five lesbians, gay men and bisexuals responded to a survey about their knowledge of services for survivors of sexual violence, the services they need and want, their perceptions of sexual violence in the gay and lesbian community, and the extent of sexual victimization in the gay and lesbian community. Forty-one percent of respondents reported that they had been sexually victimized, and the majority believed that education programs were the most important service needed.     

Gender Gaps in Public Opinion about Lesbians and Gay Men

Using data from a 1999 national RDD survey (N = 1,335), thisarticle examines gender gaps in heterosexuals' attitudes towardlesbians, gay men, and a variety of topics related to homosexuality.Attitudes toward lesbians differed from attitudes toward gaymen in several areas, and significant differences were observedbetween male and female heterosexual respondents. Survey participantsgenerally were more likely to regard gay men as mentally ill,supported adoption rights for lesbians more than for gay men,and had more negative personal reactions to gay men than tolesbians. Overall, heterosexual women were more supportive thanmen of employment protection and adoption rights for gay people,more willing to extend employee benefits to same-sex couples,and less likely to hold stereotypical beliefs about gay people.Heterosexual men's negative reactions to gay men were at theroot of these gender differences. Of all respondent-by-targetcombinations, heterosexual men were the least supportive ofrecognition of same-sex relationships and adoption rights forgay men, most likely to believe that gay men are mentally illand molest children, and most negative in their affective reactionsto gay men. Heterosexual men's response patterns were affectedby item order, suggesting possible gender differences in thecognitive organization of attitudes toward gay men and lesbians.The findings demonstrate the importance of differentiating lesbiansfrom gay men as attitude targets in survey research.     

Well-Being Among Spanish Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual and Heterosexual Adults: Disclosure of Sexual Orientation to Family and Friends

Relevance of disclosure of minority sexual orientation on subjective (SWB) and psychological well-being (PWB) was analyzed. Participants were 236 men and 238 women self-identified as lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) or heterosexual. No differences in SWB were found between heterosexuals and LGBs. Heterosexual women showed greater environmental mastery than bisexual men and greater purpose in life than lesbian and bisexual women. Outcomes showed greater well-being among LGBs who disclosed their minority sexual orientation to parents later in life. Disclosing minority sexual orientation to parents was related with greater PWB. Further research that takes a differential approach to improve well-being for LGBs is needed.     

Ethnic Minority Families and Minority Gays and Lesbians

Attitudes toward sexuality differ within the diverse ethnic and racial communities that exist in the U.S., and the cultural values and beliefs surrounding sexuality play a major role in determining how individuals behave within their sociological context. The family unit is the domain where such values and beliefs are nurtured and developed. An individual's value system is shaped and reinforced within the family context which usually reflects the broader community norms. Disclosure of a gay or lesbian sexual preference and lifestyle by a family member presents challenges to ethnic minority families who tend not to discuss sexuality issues and presume a heterosexual orientation. For ethnic minority gays and lesbians the "coming out" process presents challenges in their identity formation processes and in their loyalties to one community over another. Ethnic gay men and lesbians need to live within three rigidly defined and strongly independent communities: the gay and lesbian community, the ethnic minority community, and the society at large. While each community provides fundamental needs, serious consequences emerge if such communities were to be visibly integrated and merged. It requires a constant effort to maintain oneself in three different worlds, each of which fails to support significant aspects of a person's life. The complications that arise may inhibit one's ability to adapt and to maximize personal potentials. The purpose of this paper is to examine the interaction and processes between ethnic minority communities and their gay and lesbian family members. A framework for understanding the process of change, that occurs for the gay or lesbian person as they attempt to resolve conflicts of dual minority membership, is presented. Implications for the practitioner is also discussed.     

Commitment in same-sex love relationships

This study sought to desribe and compare commitment structures among lesbian and gay male living-together relationships, and to develop an instrument which would measure different dimensions of commitment among gay dyads without some heterosexual biases inherent in traditional measures of interpersonal commitment. Questionnaire data collected from 32 lesbians and 50 gay males who had lived together for at least six months were factor analyzed, yielding three factors: (1) intradyadic commitment, (2) extradyadic commitment, and (3) commitment-as-trust. On all three of these indices the lesbians scored somewhat higher than did the gay males, but in fact there were surprisingly few significant differences between the gay men and the lesbians. Suggestions in the data that lesbians report somewhat less social supports and are more concerned with couple boundary maintenance, whereas gay males report somewhat more jealousy and dependency, are discussed in terms of their implications for such relationships.     

Race, ethnicity, gender, and generational factors associated with the coming-out process among lesbian, and bisexual individuals

Age at coming out among gay/lesbian/bisexual (GLB) persons and sexual debut with same-gendered partners has typically been investigated in samples that do not reflect the racial and ethnic diversity of these communities. Addressing this limitation, data were collected from a diverse sample of men and women attending large-scale GLB community events in New York and Los Angeles in 2003 (N = 2,733). Compared to older cohorts, younger cohorts (18-24 year olds) of both men and women reported significantly earlier ages for sexual debut with same-gendered partners, and earlier ages for coming out to themselves and to others. Also, women began the process at later ages than men, as they reported coming out to themselves and sexual debut with a same-gender partner approximately two years later than men. There were no racial or ethnic differences in age out to self or others; however, persons of color were less likely to be out to their parents. Service providers, sexuality educators, and researchers should attend to the diversity in experience of coming out among GLB populations as they relate to the individuals gender, age, and racial and ethnic backgrounds.     

Sexual Orientation Identity Formation among Gay,Lesbian, and Bisexual Youths: Multiple Patterns of Milestone Experiences

This study examined variations in “coming out” for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youths (N= 72), ages 16 to 27. To indicate the timing and sequence of developmental stages, the respondents reported the ages at which they had completed 10 milestone events involving self‐awareness, sexual experiences, and disclosure to others, and also reported on current immersion in gay/lesbian/bisexual social networks. Cluster analysis identified five patterns of experiences. Three groups had generally early trajectories, two of which had specific delays in either sexual activity or disclosure. Two other clusters had relatively late trajectories, one of which also reported the lowest levels of gay/lesbian/bisexual social immersion. Comfort with sexual orientation was greatest in persons with early patterns and lowest within the group with late trajectories and limited gay/lesbian/bisexual social immersion.     

Sexual expression: its emotional context in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples

Much of what is known about emotions and sexuality explores the relationship enhancing qualities of positive affect. This research extends the current literature by focusing on the association between negative feelings and sexual thoughts and experiences in the context of close relationships, controlling for the effect of positive feelings. Specifically, the unique effects of daily negative feelings toward one's partner in general and specific negative feelings (i.e., anger, anxiety, and sadness) on the sexual experience of heterosexual, gay male, and lesbian relationships were explored. Participants completed an initial questionnaire followed by daily diary measures for 14 consecutive days. Positive feelings were positively associated with sexual variables as expected. Negative feelings were associated with increases in sexual behaviors for heterosexual men and women and gay men, but not lesbian women. Sadness showed a unique positive association with arousal, lust, wanted sexual behavior, and sexual behavior for heterosexual men and women and gay men, but not lesbian women. Neither anger nor anxiety was uniquely associated with the sexual experience for heterosexual or same-sex couples.