Family Mediation: A Guide for Family Therapists

Family therapists often see separating parents who need to agree on co‐parenting arrangements. This article provides a guide to current research and practice in family mediation. The limited available research suggests mediation is a useful approach for some separated parents and their children, but often is not successful with highly conflicted parents, parents with mental health problems, parents struggling to accept the separation from their partner, or parents with unrealistic co‐parenting expectations. We analyse ways in which mediation might be enhanced, and discuss the potential roles of family therapists to support separating families to negotiate positive co‐parenting.     

The Effects of Parent‐Adolescent Relationships and Parental Separation on Adolescent Well‐Being

This article uses data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (Add Health) to investigate the short‐term effects of parental separation on adolescent delinquency and depression. Findings indicate that parent‐adolescent relationships prior to marital dissolution moderate the effects of parental separation on adolescent delinquency. The higher adolescents' satisfaction with their relationship with the same‐sex parent prior to residential separation the greater their increases in delinquent behavior when they are separated from this parent at Wave 2. These results highlight the importance of interpersonal relationships within the family prior to parental separation. Opposite‐sex parents constitute a significant influence on adolescents' depression regardless of family structure. These findings suggest that research on parental influences on children's well‐being needs to pay more attention to gender‐specific effects.     

A Therapist’s Mandate?: Integrating an Ethics of Care into Custody Law by Recognising and Responding to Post‐separation Parental Loss of Connection with Children

In 1999 Smart and Neale published their seminal book Family Fragments, arguing for the replacement of the ethics of justice that currently informs custody law and practice with an ethics of care. Recognising loss is one of four principles they identify as being key to care‐based processes for managing post‐separation parenting arrangements. Here they had in mind the non‐resident fathers in their study, who were often anxious, angry, and resentful about their diminished fatherhood. Yet gender‐neutral custody laws and the greater prominence given to shared care across the West means that increasing numbers of separated mothers are also experiencing diminished connections to their children, either by becoming non‐resident parents or through shared care arrangements. Research into post‐separation fathers’ and mothers’ experiences of loss and grief in relation to their children is sparse and largely consists of small‐scale qualitative studies focusing either on fathers or mothers. Nonetheless, these studies show that the grief talk of post‐separated parents is strikingly similar, except that mothers who become non‐resident parents commonly talk about a sense of stigma and shame, while fathers are more likely than mothers to resort to the language of anger and rights. Despite Smart and Neale's call roughly 20 years ago, custody law systems across the West continue to neglect parents’ need for recognition and support. This paper seeks to rectify this social neglect through describing a dual program of therapeutically informed interventions with separated mothers and fathers. This is designed to recognise and respond to parental loss and grief experiences, whilst simultaneously fostering personal self‐reflexivity and transformation. The latter is no easy task but is frequently an essential basis for workable co‐parenting post‐separation.     

‘Tell Me and I Forget,Teach Me and I May Remember,Involve Me and I Learn. And That's What It's About.’ How a Co‐design Methodology is Used in the Delivery of Parents Building Solutions: A Qualitative Study

There are many parenting programs delivered in Australia and Parents Building Solutions (PBS) is one of these. Collaboratively designed by Parentzone staff of Anglicare Victoria, it has a twenty year history of building the evidence base. PBS stands apart from other programs because parents actively co‐design the sessions and content with skilled facilitators. Understanding the drivers, processes and practices that make the co‐design methodology work, is fundamental to the implementation science that underpins the program.This study aimed to examine the way co‐design was used in the delivery of PBS, specifically looking at program implementation and outcomes. Focus groups and interviews were conducted with Parentzone staff (team leaders and facilitators) and parents who had recently completed a program. Ethics approval was provided and analysis was conducted using NVivo software with co‐design as the unit of analysis. Three major themes about co‐design were present across team leaders, facilitators and parents: 1) responsiveness and flexibility are central to the functionality of co‐design within PBS; 2) facilitators implement the co‐design methodology using a suite of knowledge and skills; and 3) parents report tangible results from participating in a co‐designed parenting program. There was an overwhelming appreciation from both facilitators and parents about the co‐designed implementation style. Facilitators and team leaders highly valued the flexibility of the program which enabled their ability to respond to parent's needs. Furthermore, parents believed they achieved tangible outcomes derived from strategies and support delivered in the program. The co‐design methodology used in PBS was evident for all stakeholders and was a driver of program implementation and its outcomes. The methodology described in this has practice implications for family therapists and others who work directly parents and families.     

Sex Differences in Parenting Behaviors in Single‐Mother and Single‐Father Households

Research on family structure has led some to claim that sex‐based parenting differences exist. But if such differences exist in single‐parent families, the absence of a second parent rather than specific sex‐typed parenting might explain them. We examine differences in mothering and fathering behavior in single‐parent households, where number of parents is held constant, and we describe individualist and structuralist perspectives for potential sex‐based parenting behaviors. We compare 3,202 single mothers and 307 single fathers in the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study (Kindergarten Cohort). Results suggest that, although there are small differences in the parenting behaviors of single mothers and single fathers, differences are sensitive to demographic disparities and do not translate to academic deficits for children in either family type.     

Families With Young Children: A Review of Research in the 1990s

Research conducted in the past decade on families with young children concentrated on 5 broad topics: (a) the transition to parenthood; (b) the importance of maternal sensitivity for children's attachment security and subsequent adjustment and social competence; (c) the effectiveness of particular parenting styles and practices; (d) interparental, familial, and broader societal factors influencing parenting behaviors and child adjustment; and (e) the impact of family structure and household composition on children's well‐being. Our review documents substantial diversity in family structures, parenting arrangements, and childrearing values and practices both within and across ethnic and racial groups. Collectively, the evidence suggests that in most families with young children, parents and children seem to be doing well. We conclude that substantial work is required to expand the study of families with young children beyond mother‐child dyads in White, middle‐class, two‐parent, first‐marriage families.     

A Vocabulary of Motives: Understanding How Parents Define Quality Time

Although discussions of parenting refer to quality time, parents’ views of quality time have not been explored. Using the Sloan 500 Family Study, this article examines how 220 parents from 110 dual‐parent families define the spending quality time with their families and finds 3 distinct views: Structured‐planning parents saw it as planned family activities, child‐centered parents emphasized heart‐to‐heart talks with their children, and time‐intensive parents believed that all the time they spent with their families was quality time. Mothers and fathers both valued quality time, but, particularly when parents within a household disagreed, mothers more often described having a more active parenting role and assumed greater responsibility for quality time, reflecting a gendered division of parenting within the home.     

Keeping Mum: Characteristics and Family Dynamics of Mothers Who Are Liable to Pay Child Support in Australia

In recent decades, changes in post‐separation parenting arrangements in Australia have led to an increase in the small but significant group of mothers liable to pay child support to fathers. The present study uses data from the Child Support Reform Study, a national random sample of separated parents in Australia registered with the Child Support Agency (CSA) in 2008. In total, 185 mothers with a child support liability were identified. Drawing on reports from separated mothers and fathers liable to pay child support in 2008, the study found that 43% of liable mothers had shared or more time. Few liable mothers reported spending no time with their child in the previous 12 months. Unlike liable fathers, mothers with a child support liability tended to be more ‘fearful’ of their former partner; have a resident child in their household; work fewer hours in paid employment; and have older children. Liable mothers were also more likely than other separated mothers to describe the relationship with their former partner as ‘fearful.’ Gendered expectations of parenting mean that liable mothers and liable fathers may adopt different behavioural responses to their roles. The implications of these findings for family therapists are briefly discussed.     

What Parents Learn From Experience: The First Child as a First Draft?

This study sought evidence for the proposition that experiences with earlier‐born adolescents will improve parents' interactions with and parenting of later‐born adolescents. Participants were mothers, fathers, and both first‐ and second‐born siblings from 392 families participating in a longitudinal study. To collect information on siblings' family experiences, family members were interviewed individually in their homes. During the subsequent 2 to 3 weeks, 7 evening telephone interviews were also conducted, which focused on siblings' daily activities. Findings suggest that when parent‐adolescent relationships were measured at the same age for both siblings, parents experienced less conflict with their second‐born as compared with their firstborn adolescent offspring and exhibited greater knowledge of their second‐born offspring's daily activities as compared with their firstborns' daily experiences. These results are consistent with the notion that parents may learn from their childrearing experiences.     

“Raised Eyebrows”: Working with Lesbian‐Parented Families — Experiences of Childcare Centre Directors in Australia

When reflecting on their experiences with children from lesbian‐parented families, 64 childcare centre directors in Victoria, Australia indicated that explicit programs, policies or resources of support were absent in their centres. Importantly, participants' pre‐ and post‐professional education either ignored or superficially addressed lesbian matters. This may explain the limited nature of inclusion of lesbian matters in early childhood education. Of note, is the pervasive nature of ‘truths’ upheld by educators. That is, in the Foucauldian sense these educators perceived lesbian families as being the ‘same’ as heterosexual families. Despite the considerable shifts in professional attitudes and ‘truths’ about sexuality, the Foucauldian silences were being reinforced in everyday practice as evidenced by the reference to ‘raised eyebrows’ by participants when this silence about sexuality was threatened.     

The ‘Go‐Between’: Low‐Income Children Negotiating Relationships of Money and Care with Their Separated Parents

The UK is moving from a centralised administrative child support system to one of private ordering where the state will only intervene under limited circumstances. This requires parents to agree and set up suitable, sustainable arrangements. This has particular implications for children, although the child perspective is often overlooked. This article situates children as active social agents exploring their interactions and negotiations with their separated‐parents with regard to money, time and parenting. It argues that policies that do not take into account the agentic child's experiences and perspectives may fail to address the impact of policy on children's lives.     

Socialization into single‐parent‐by‐choice family life

This paper examines family interactions between mothers and children in single‐parent‐by‐choice (SPBC) families in Spain. The data is part of a larger multi‐sited ethnographic study focused on emergent family structures that examined families formed by women who began their family projects through adoption or assisted reproduction. Single‐mothers‐by‐choice formulate various socialization goals that are tied to the complexities of their non‐conventional family project. These goals are also realized in daily conversation, particularly when families talk about future events in their lives. Our findings expand existing family language socialization research in Western contexts, which has primarily focused on conventional two‐parent families, and invite developing a stronger dialogue between family language socialization research and current debates on changing kinship structures in post‐industrial societies. Este trabajo examina interacciones entre madres e hijos/as en familias de madres solteras por elección (MSPE) en España. Los datos provienen de una investigación etnográfica multi‐lugar más amplia centrada en modelo familiares emergentes que estudió a familias formadas por mujeres solas que han comenzado su proyecto familiar a través de la reproducción asistida o la adopción. La madres solteras por elección formulan varias metas de socialización que están ligadas a las complejidades y demandas de su proyecto familiar no convencional. Estos objetivos también se plasman en conversaciones cotidianas, especialmente cuando las familias hablan sobre eventos futuros en su vidas. Nuestros resultados amplían la investigación sobre socialización lingüística familiar en contextos occidentales, que se ha centrado principalmente en familias bi‐parentales convencionales, e invitan a desarrollar un diálogo más fructífero entre la investigación sobre socialización lingüística familiar y los debates actuales en torno a cambios en los patrones de parentesco en sociedades post‐industriales. [Spanish]     

Organising Work and Home in Same‐Sex Parented Families: Findings From the Work Love Play Study

In this article we present findings from the Work, Love and Play (WLP) study: a survey completed by 445 same‐sex attracted parents across Australia and New Zealand. Comparisons of household division of labour are made between a sub‐sample of WLP participants, who were currently cohabiting with a same‐sex partner (n = 317), and 958 cohabiting opposite‐sex parents surveyed as part of a major Australian study, Negotiating the Life Course. This comparison showed that same‐sex couples divided household labour significantly more equally than heterosexual parents, and lesbian couples also shared parenting tasks more equally. Qualitative findings from the WLP study indicate that, for many same‐sex couples, major decisions around who gives up paid work and how many hours parents choose to work, as well as decisions around work/family balance, are negotiated on the basis of couple's preferences and circumstance rather than an assumption that one parent will be the primary child carer. It is speculated that this finding highlights an important point of difference between same‐sex couples and heterosexual couples where the division of household labour is often based on the assumption that the mother will almost always be the primary child carer and homemaker. The research is a collaborative partnership between La Trobe University, Deakin University, The University of Melbourne, and Relationships Australia Victoria.     

It’s OK not to be OK: Shared reflections from two PhD parents in a time of pandemic

Adopting an intersectional feminist lens, we explore our identities as single and co‐parents thrust into the new reality of the UK COVID‐19 lockdown. As two PhD students, we present shared reflections on our intersectional and divergent experiences of parenting and our attempts to protect our work and families during a pandemic. We reflect on the social constructions of ‘masculinities’ and ‘emphasized femininities’ as complicated influence on our roles as parents. Finally, we highlight the importance of time and self‐care as ways of managing our shared realities during this uncertain period. Through sharing reflections, we became closer friends in mutual appreciation and solidarity as we learned about each other’s struggles and vulnerabilities.     

‘Who is in Your Family?’ Italian Children with Non‐heterosexual Parents Talk about Growing Up in a Non‐conventional Household

The paper presents findings from explorative research conducted in Italy with seven 9‐ to 12‐year‐old children with non‐heterosexual parents. The aim was to find out how children describe their family structure, how they talk about their family with peers, and how they experience peers' attitudes towards non‐heterosexual families. Findings show that children have a flexible and inclusive representation of family and they disclose selectively with their peers who don't always consider homosexuality normal and homoparental families ‘real families’. The paper concludes by suggesting that institutional recognition for same‐sex parenting would support children in the everyday work of negotiating diversity.     

Maternal Cohabitation and Child Well‐Being Among Kindergarten Children

Using data collected from 10,511 kindergarten children and their parents from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study—Kindergarten Cohort, this study examines child well‐being across cohabiting 2‐biological‐parent families; cohabiting stepfamilies; married stepfamilies; and married 2‐biological‐parent families. Findings indicate no differences in child well‐being for children living in cohabiting stepfamilies and cohabiting 2‐biological‐parent families. Multivariate models controlling for child characteristics, economic resources, maternal depressive symptoms, stability, and parenting practices show no significant differences across family types in child well‐being indicators, with the exception of reading skills. Important factors in explaining the link between cohabitation and child well‐being include economic resources, maternal depressive symptoms, and parenting practices.     

Same‐Sex Parent Families and Children's Academic Achievement

Children in traditional families (i.e., married, 2 biological parents) tend to do better than their peers in nontraditional families. An exception to this pattern appears to be children from same‐sex parent families. Children with lesbian mothers or gay fathers do not exhibit the poorer outcomes typically associated with nontraditional families. Studies of same‐sex parent families, however, have relied on a static conceptualization of the family and discounted the importance of the timing and number of family transitions for understanding children's outcomes. To examine whether same‐sex parent families represent an exception among nontraditional families, the author used data from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study—Kindergarten cohort (N = 19,043) to create a dynamic indicator of children's family structure and tested its association with math assessment scores. The results indicated that children in same‐sex parent families scored lower than their peers in married, 2‐biological parent households, but the difference was nonsignificant net of family transitions.     

Creating ‘stability’ for children in step‐families: time and substance in parenting

Children are said to be in need of stability for a ‘successful’ upbringing. This article focuses on the implications of this for parenting and childrearing practices in step‐families. It addresses the ways that conceptions of stability for children in family policy are tied to a particular family form and to maintaining continuity in biological parenting obligations, while parenting research has largely been concerned with measuring the consequences of changing family forms for children. In contrast, parents and step‐parents in step‐families themselves have far more complex understandings about the creation of stability for children in their care, around issues of dis/continuity in linear time and the social and material substantive constitution of stability. Copyright © 2002 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Unsociable Work? Nonstandard Work Schedules,Family Relationships,and Children’s Well‐Being

Many children live in families where one or both parents work evenings, nights, or weekends. Do these work schedules affect family relationships or well‐being? Using cross‐sectional survey data from dual‐earner Canadian families (N= 4,306) with children aged 2 – 11 years (N= 6,156), we compared families where parents worked standard weekday times with those where parents worked nonstandard schedules. Parents working nonstandard schedules reported worse family functioning, more depressive symptoms, and less effective parenting. Their children were also more likely to have social and emotional difficulties, and these associations were partially mediated through family relationships and parent well‐being. For some families, work in the 24‐hour economy may strain the well‐being of parents and children.     

Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study

Australian gay men have only recently become parents through surrogacy arrangements. They have had to overcome a discriminatory legal, social, political, cultural and financial environment. A cooperative inquiry action research group was formed, with seven two‐father families conceived via surrogacy, to explore their journey to parenthood and their consequent politicisation as gay fathers. This article reveals how that experience of the cooperative inquiry process strengthened their resolve to be intentionally ‘out’ in their communities to overcome discriminatory and conservative social attitudes. They embraced the political reality of their parenting and were stimulated to create improved support structures for themselves and future parents. This transformed the legal, social, political and cultural environment for their families.