| Abstract: | Summary Gay men share the common human need for meaningful intimate contact in which the connection is genuine, open and honest. This need can be frustrated, complicated and undermined by a sexual trauma history. The child's sense of personal boundaries, of sexual integrity and of affectional relationships is deeply impacted by a sexual trauma. The child learns that his needs become secondary to the offender's and as a result the victim learns to barter with his sexuality to get those needs met. The offender may foster a sense of isolation in the child, creating a perspective of the world that is harsh and dangerous, so that the child becomes terrified of abandonment. Homophobia is understood to be a “sexuality abuse” and as a result gay men often come in contact with other survivors. As a result, distinguishing between sex and love and recognizing genuine intimacy become difficult. This creates a spiral of difficulties whereby gay men may take enormous risks to “belong” or to avoid abandonment, often with profound consequences in terms of health and self-esteem. |
