Divorce and Mid- and Later Life Families: A Phenomenological Analysis with Implications for Family Life Educators

ABSTRACT

A growing number of mid- and later life individuals and families are experiencing divorce and remarriage. Mid- and later life families are those who have begun to or may have launched their adult children. As a result, these families may include in-laws and grandchildren. Limited research has addressed the potentially unique experiences of these families whose lives are made more complex and complicated by divorce, remarriage, or both. The purpose of this article is to examine, from a phenomenological perspective, the lived experiences of individuals and families experiencing divorce in mid- and later life. In so doing, four case studies are presented that represent four common pathways through divorce and remarriage in mid- and later life: career divorced, seasoned divorced, newly divorced, and interrupted career divorced. Using these case studies and our interpretation of them based on a phenomenological approach, we offer implications for family life educators for improving the delivery of educational services to families facing mid- and later life divorce and remarriage.     

Our Divorce Culture: A Durkheimian Perspective

Comparative studies of children from divorced and intact families consistently find that children of divorced marriages have more short- and long-term psychological and social issues than children from intact marriages. This has led to the need for an evaluation of our divorce culture. The purpose of this research is to analyze the general population's attitudes on divorce involving children by gender, race, age, socioeconomic status, and participation in religious activities to see if our opinion of divorce is corresponding to the reality of its effect on children. Research-based divorce education programs have been shown to produce positive results in social and psychological readjustment for both children and adults. The findings of this study allow research-based divorce education programs to identify where to focus their services for children and adults. In addition, these findings support the implementation of policy to mandate the development of research-based divorce education programs in each state.     

The impact of discernment counseling on individuals who decide to divorce: experiences of post‐divorce communication and coparenting

Discernment counseling is designed to help couples considering divorce arrive at a greater sense of clarity and confidence in their decision making about the future of their marriage. Possible outcomes include making no change to the marriage, divorcing, or attempting reconciliation through couples therapy. To date, no research has been done on whether or not discernment counseling helps couples who decide to divorce with their post‐divorce family life (i.e., coparenting). We surveyed 11 people (from male–female couples) and conducted in‐depth interviews with eight who had undergone discernment counseling and subsequently divorced to see what impact discernment counseling had on their post‐divorce coparenting relationship. We analyzed the data from a phenomenological perspective. Respondents described their discernment counseling experience as helpful for achieving clarity and honesty in the divorce decision‐making process, they shared their appreciation for the structure of the intervention, and indicated that it led to a greater coparental cooperation post‐divorce.     

“As a Divorcee,I Am a Better Father”: Work and Parenting Among Divorced Men in Israel

The article presents the emotional and cognitive experiences of divorced fathers in Israel faced with the need to balance work and family. The analysis is based on in-depth interviews with 22 divorced fathers. The main finding of the study is that divorced fathers face a more intense family–work conflict, which they did not have to contend with as married fathers. Many interviewees reported a shift in the perceived importance of work in their lives. Divorced fathers described their parenting experience as enhanced in comparison to prior married life; many of them felt that after the divorce they became better fathers.     

The Effects of Parental Divorce: A Culture-Specific Challenge for Young Adults in South Korea

Extensive research into the offspring of divorced parents has indicated associations between parental divorce and developmental outcomes for young adults. Nevertheless the impact of cultural variation on the lives of young people with divorced parents has been neglected. Qualitative research using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) was used to examine the experiences of six Korean adults of divorced parents, who detailed the impact of parental divorce on their lives and told us how their feelings toward their parents and their own ideas about family formation had been reevaluated. Overall, participants expressed concerns in common with other children of divorce and concerns specific to their Confucian cultural context, namely ambivalent feelings toward their parents' divorce, confusion about traditional filial piety, and a view of the self as damaged and needing reinvestment.     

Parental Authority in Divorced Families

This work examines the possible differences between divorced mothers and mothers of intact families in their inclinations to exert parental authority, and the possible relationship between the degree of parental authority and children's personal and social adjustment. For the purposes of the study, we developed the Haifa Parental Authority Questionnaire, which is a situation-depicted test based on a conceptual analysis of the construct of authority. The participants were 88 mother–child dyads, 56 from single (divorced) families and 32 from two-parent families. The results show that married mothers are more disposed than are divorced mothers to use their authority. Although adding family status and parental authority scores to the regression analysis yielded insignificant models for the two children's adjustment variables, the interaction between the variables was found to be significant. In the divorced family the more authoritarian the mother is, the worse is the child's personal adjustment, whereas in the intact family the more authoritarian the mother is, the better is the child's social adjustment. The results are discussed in the wider context of the mother–child relationship, the breakdown of the family's hierarchical structure following divorce, and the relationship of these factors with the exertion of parental authority.     

The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children

I use a divorce‐stress‐adjustment perspective to summarize and organize the empirical literature on the consequences of divorce for adults and children. My review draws on research in the 1990s to answer five questions: How do individuals from married and divorced families differ in well‐being? Are these differences due to divorce or to selection? Do these differences reflect a temporary crisis to which most people gradually adapt or stable life strains that persist more or less indefinitely? What factors mediate the effects of divorce on individual adjustment? And finally, what are the moderators (protective factors) that account for individual variability in adjustment to divorce? In general, the accumulated research suggests that marital dissolution has the potential to create considerable turmoil in people's lives. But people vary greatly in their reactions. Divorce benefits some individuals, leads others to experience temporary decrements in well‐being, and forces others on a downward trajectory from which they might never recover fully. Understanding the contingencies under which divorce leads to these diverse outcomes is a priority for future research.     

Correlates of Self-Esteem Among College Students Offspring from Divorced Families:

This research examines whether factors found to be relevant to children's adjustment following parental divorce do indeed have a significant relationship to the self-esteem of young adult college students who have experienced parental divorce during childhood or adolescence. These factors include gender, social class, age at the time of parental divorce, remarriage of the custodial mother, the amount of contact between the non-residential father and his offspring, and feelings of closeness between the non-residential father and his offspring. The results of a multiple regression analysis indicate that contact with the non-residential father has a significant impact on the self-esteem of female offspring, whereas the age at the time of parental divorce is the most sigmticant factor contributing to the self-esteem of male offspring. Results also indicate there is no significant difference in self-esteem levels among male and female offspring from divorced families.     

Postdivorce Relationships Between Exspouses:

This paper examines the divorce literature in terms of underlying themes which account for the scarcity of research on postdivorce relationships between exspouses. It also explores ways in which these relationships have been viewed. Key publications are considered in detail in order to illustrate these themes and views. This examination can be useful to persons who experience divorce, professionals who work with divorced persons, social scientists who study divorce, and political advocates for the family.     

Reasons for Divorce

Marital dissolution is a complex process, experienced in diverse ways. However, most divorce research is based on the reports of divorced individuals. A dyadic perspective is needed to capture the entire range of reasons for divorce. Thc purpose of this study was to clarify what reasons for divorce were made by former spouses, and to investigate the extent of agreement and disagreemcnt between their reports of the divorce process. Former husbands reported proportionally more circumstantial reasons and dyadic conditions, and fewer individual reasons and dyadic behaviors than did their former wives. The lack of association between couple agreement on reasons and demographic variables suggested that the reasons embedded in personal accounts were more important to understanding divorce, and thus merit further investigation.     

Family and Social Network Factors After Divorce in Catholic Italian Women and Catholic Anglophone Women

Twenty-one Catholic Italian divorced women and a matched group of 21 Catholic Anglophone divorced women (who were born in Canada and whose ethnic roots were in Great Britain) were studied with regard to several family and social network variables. It was found that Catholic Italian women reported having grown up in an extended family situation more frequently, rated their degree of family loyalty as greater, felt that their fathers were more disapproving of their divorces, and reported fewer nonfamily members who could be relied on to provide emotional support than Catholic Anglophone women. However, the two groups did not differ significantly in terms of family concept, interaction with their parents after divorce, network density, mothers' approval/disapproval of the divorce, and sex role orientation. The findings were discussed in terms of the limits of the methods used in this study and suggestions for further research.     

After the Divorce

The present study compares postdivorce adjustment factors among older, long-married persons with similar familial factors among younger divorced persons. Data collected from personal interviews indicate that older divorced persons are not devastated by their divorce. Although these two groups do not differ in their overall scores of emotional health as measures by the General Well-Being Scale, within certain categories the older persons appear to be emotionally healthier. Statistically significant differences between the two samples include: importance of family closeness; conflict in relationships; and forewarning of the divorce from family members. There are also differences in the familial factors that predict well-being for the two age groups. Professionals intervening at all system levels should be sensitive to age differences and incorporate familial factors that ameliorate postdivorce adjustment. Implications for practice with older divorced persons include strengthening parent/adult child relationships and creatively designing programs at macro and micro levels to decrease family conflict. With younger divorced persons, conflict mediation with the family following divorce is necessary.     

Socioeconomic,sociodemographic and attitudinal correlates of the tempo of divorce

The association between sociodemographic, demographic, and attitudinal measures and the timing or tempo of marital dissolution over a 14-year time span is examined. Separation is considered equivalent to divorce. Early and late divorce are differentiated by whether the event occurred before or after the average number of years married prior to divorce. Data were obtained on husbands and wives within childbearing years (up to 39 years) in the 1st years of the 1st marriage. A random stratified sample of 610 couples was drawn from records of marriages in a midwestern county between 1972-77. Reinterviews were conducted on 544 couples in April 1985. socioeconomic variables included educational attainment, occupational prestige, wife's employment status, wife's future work plans, husband's attitude to wife's future work plans, total family income, and level of satisfaction with current financial status. Demographic variables are age at marriage, number of children in 1985, marital duration, and desired family size. Attitudinal items were religiosity and gender role orientations (traditionalism, modernism, egalitarianism). Exposure to divorce was not equitably distributed for the 108 who divorced, but this was not statistically significant. The results indicate that those divorced earlier were wives who worked outside the home, worked at more prestigious jobs, planned to be employed throughout married life, and whose father had a higher level of educational attainment. This finding is not consistent with prior research which has shown that favorable socioeconomic conditions lower the probability of divorce. The timing of divorce was affected by the presence of children. Those married at younger ages divorced earlier and couples with children delayed divorcing longer than couples without children. These findings were consistent with earlier research. Catholic wives delayed divorce longer than non-Catholic wives. Males lower in sexual satisfaction divorced earlier. Divorce was postponed longer for husbands with traditional values and wives who had higher scores on egalitarianism. Wives with scores on modernism had earlier divorces than wives scoring lower on modernism. The tempo of divorce was in multiple classification analysis predicted best by wife's employment status and number of children. Cross-classification was not possible.     

The Experience of Work–Family Conflict Among Divorced Parents in Flanders

This study investigates the difference between married and divorced parents, accounting for gender and relationship status after divorce. It also provides insight into differences within the category of divorced parents. Data from 769 married and 1,424 divorced parents were analyzed using logistic regression analysis. The results identify a complex interplay among marital status, relationship status, and gender. For mothers, both marital and relationship status have an impact on work–family conflict. For fathers, it is the presence of a partner that affects the interference of family with work. Gender, working hours, and child’s presence were identified as important factors influencing work–family conflict among divorced parents.     

’Til Divorce Do Us Part: Marriage Dissolution in Later Life

Late-life divorce—commonly referred to as gray divorce—is a rising trend that parallels the growth of the older adult population. We sought to gain an in-depth understanding of the experience of marriage dissolution, the divorce process, and life following divorce in a sample of older adults who divorced after more than 20 years of marriage. Qualitative data were collected from 10 divorcees (7 women and 3 men; M age = 63.5) and analyzed to understand the gray divorce experience; that is, factors that determined or delayed the decision to divorce and divorcees’ coping during and after divorce. Participants’ stories demonstrate that marriages endure despite problems because relationships are complex, and good experiences mix with bad ones. Outcomes of late-life divorce have significant health and financial implications for both individuals and society.     

A KLEINIAN PERSPECTIVE ON THE DIVORCE PROCESS: FROM THE PARANOID-SCHIZOID TO THE DEPRESSIVE POSITION

This paper looks at the divorce process from the perspective of Kleinan theory. It argues that during the early stages of divorce, most persons are in Klein’s paranoid-schizoid position, characterized by splitting and persecutory anxiety, and that they move on to the depressive position, characterized by sadness and longing, only later. The movement occurs as the separated or divorced individual becomes able to tolerate ambivalence, and thus to integrate both the loved and hated aspects of the former spouse and marriage. The paper illustrates the claim in three case studies and recommendations are made for treatment and research.Nehami Baum Ph.D. is a lecturer of the School of Social Work at Bar Ilan University. She is a social worker with experience in both public and private practice. Her special interests include non-death related loss, divorce, men in therapy, treatment termination, social work students' professional identity formation, and guilt.     

PREDICTORS OF PATERNAL INVOLVEMENT POSTDIVORCE

Recent research on the effects of divorce on children indicates the relationship of the noncustodial father both to the former spouse and to the child are critical factors affecting the child's adjustment. Guided by a family systems perspective, this study examined the relationship between paternal involvement postdivorce, the divorced coparental relationship and feelings of the former spouses' toward each other. Data were obtained from intensive interviews with 54 pairs of ex-spouses one year after divorce. Comparative analyses of mothers and fathers revealed different perceptions of fathers' involvement. Regression analysis showed that the coparental relationship and selected individual variables were significant predictors of both mothers' and fathers' perceptions of his involvement in child-rearing after divorce.     

The healing magic of myth: Allegorical tales and the treatment of children of divorce

Children of divorce experience a sense of loss of the intact family which had stabilized their lives. Painful thoughts and feelings may result in defensive resistance of treatment techniques which deal too directly with their situation. This paper explores the use of allegorical tales in the treatment of children of divorced parents. It contrasts the use of such tales with traditional bibliotherapy and with Gardner's (1971) Mutual Story Telling, suggesting that myth and metaphor provide a road around resistance by presenting a cognitive bridge between themes common in the stories and the life experiences of the child of divorce.     

Differences Between High School Students from Intact and Divorced Families

Previous research on the effects of divorce has focused primarily on young children. In the present study, 110 high school students from divorced or intact families were administered a variety of questionnaires to ascertain any differences between students from the two family situations. The questionnaires focused on the following areas: beliefs about divorce, family environment, interparental con- flict, and self-depiction. No significant differences were found be- tween the divorced and intact groups. These results suggest that teens from divorced families are as well-adjusted as teens from intact fami- lies. A number of correlations were found to be significant, implying that it is the family environment, not the process of divorce, that influences children's adjustment.     

Young Adults with Childhood Experience of Divorce: Disappointment and Contentment

The aim of this study was to use in-depth interviews to identify and describe experiences of parental divorce among adult children whose parents divorced 15 years earlier. Ten out of 76 interviews were recorded and transcribed verbatim, and data were analyzed using qualitative content analysis. Two categories of experiences were identified: disappointment and contentment. Two subcategories of disappointment were distinguished: disappointment toward mother, father, or both, and disappointment with relatives and other surrounding persons. Four subcategories of contentment were distinguished: contentment in the belief that the members of the original family received a good or even better life after the divorce, contentment with how the divorce was handled by the parents, contentment and inner strength as a part of the child's own personality, and contentment with receiving adequate help during and after the parental divorce.