Relationships and identity of gay men in Mexico: A qualitative approach

Relationships are a fundamental element of human and social interactions because they provide us with meanings around physical and abstract objects that allow us to make sense of our reality and identities. There is little Mexican research regarding how gay men construct a sense of identity through their social interactions. This article describes the relationships that gay men in Mexico City have within their families, with their friends, and with their partners. Fifteen in-depth interviews are analyzed through elements of Grounded Theory and Critical Discourse Analysis. Results show that family reproduced homophobia with participants that taught them that their gay identity is socially unaccepted. This is deconstructed through friendships with other gay men. Partner relationships are lived as one of the last milestones in the construction of a gay identity. Some men question hegemonic values around sexuality through polyamorous and polygamous relationships. Conclusions show the importance of these social relationships for gay men's emotional well-being, but that their relationships are often impacted by cultural and interpersonal homophobia.     

Conceptualizations of Family by Older Gay Men

SUMMARY

Gay lives challenge historically dominant understandings of family. Given that definitions of family have been heterosexually based, how do non-heterosexuals define and understand “family?” Drawing from the family life course perspective, we propose that contemporary cohorts of older gay men represent a strategic vantage point for understanding innovations in family life, and thus expand current understandings of a gay life course. We use data from an interview study of gay men over the age of 50 who talked about their family relationships. While providing diverse definitions of family, biological ties and closeness were two consistent dimensions for defining both positive and negative family relationships by these older gay men. Narratives of coming out were central to discussions of current relationships with parents and children. The findings from this study indicate that sexual orientation influences life trajectories and transitions and point to useful avenues for further research on contemporary family life.     

Men Not Included?

SUMMARY

This paper explores debates about male presence and influence in lesbian families from a critical psychology standpoint. Critical psychology encompasses a variety of radical approaches to psychological research that reject traditional psychological assumptions, concepts and methods and that seek to challenge and resist normative values. To explore aspects of the discursive terrain of male influence and to demonstrate the merits of a critical psychology of lesbian families, excerpts from an interview with a lesbian couple who are members of a planned lesbian/gay family (two mummies and a daddy) are analysed. These excerpts show that debates about male influence create live dilemmas and tensions for the lesbian couple and have important consequences for how lesbian parents negotiate and do family.     

Expanding “Irish Family” Repertoires: Exploring Gay Men's Experiences as Parents in the Republic of Ireland

ABSTRACT

This article explores gay men's parenting experiences and practices in order to seek insight into how gay men accept or challenge heterosexual family norms and how “family” is understood in the Irish context. It is based on small-scale qualitative research (interviews) with seven gay fathers. Despite the limited routes to parenthood for gay men in Ireland, the research findings indicate that the participants enjoy parenting and that they are motivated in their parenting practices. The gay fathers in this study are participative parents who have made significant decisions in their lives in order to prioritize their children's welfare. The diversity of family constellations and care arrangements that surround gay fathering in Ireland can expand family and care repertoires beyond the traditional biparent heterosexual norm. Gay fathers in Ireland appear to enjoy some security at the private familial level and in the responses from their families and communities, but they are keenly aware that nontraditional families are given less status in Irish society. Unlike other jurisdictions, gay parenting is not articulated by the gay fathers in this research as a rights-based argument. Instead, these Irish gay fathers are de facto activists who seek to “humanize” gay parenting.     

“We’re Just Family,You Know?” Exploring the Discourses of Family in Gay Parents’ Relational Talk

ABSTRACT

To date, little is known about how gay male parents discursively create and sustain family identity and how they position themselves in relation to the dominant heteronormative discourses of the traditional family. Framed relational dialectics theory – this study explored the meaning(s) of family and fatherhood in married gay fathers’ relational talk. I interviewed 13 married gay parent dyads and conducted follow-up interviews to collect data across time as well as member check initial results. Using contrapuntal analysis, I identified the discourses of traditional family structure and nontraditional family structure at play. I argue that the couples’ talk reflected discursive struggles to generate relational meanings for their family identities.     

Demographic Comparison of American Individuals in Polyamorous and Monogamous Relationships

Research on polyamorous relationships has increased substantially over the past decade. This work has documented how polyamory is practiced and why individuals might pursue such arrangements. However, there is a lack of a systematic investigation of who is in polyamorous relationships and how they might differ from individuals in monogamous relationships. The present study is one of the first to address this by comparing the demographic backgrounds of individuals in polyamorous (N = 2,428) and monogamous (N = 539) relationships in the United States. Compared to participants in monogamous relationships, those in polyamorous relationships were more likely to report minority sexual identities. Despite similar age distributions, individuals in polyamorous relationships were more likely to report being in a civil union, being divorced, and earning less than $40,000 per year compared to individuals in monogamous relationships. People in polyamorous relationships were also more likely to select “other” options for most demographic characteristics, suggesting that they tend to choose less traditional response options in general. The current research highlights several demographic differences that need to be considered and potentially controlled for in future comparisons of polyamorous and monogamous relationships.     

The Hetero-Gay Family

Abstract

The hetero-gay family is a relatively new family configuration that is headed by a heterosexual mother and gay father who conceive and raise children together, although residing separately. This article presents the unique characteristics of hetero-gay families and the potential implications for child development of growing up in a het-ero-gay family. Recent research on non-marital motherhood and fatherhood among gay men is used to inform the debate. Comparisons of hetero-gay families to other family configurations help highlight central issues and offer directions for future research.     

Between Money,Morality and Masculinity

Abstract

This paper focuses on the supply-side of Chiang Mai's gay bars, that is, the male sex workers called dek bar or “bar boys”¹ in Thai. I formulate some explanations why these young men -more than half of whom do not consider themselves to be “homosexual” -take on a job as a male sex worker. In this analysis I focus on certain notions in traditional Thai society, trends in contemporary urban Thai society, the economics of work in a gay bar, as well as the sexual behaviour of male sex workers and the concepts they use to describe their work.     

Gay Fathers Expanding the Possibilities for Us All

Abstract

This article describes a qualitative research study of 21 men who became fathers as openly gay men. The fathers were interviewed using a semi-structured questionnaire in a focus group format. The data were analyzed using grounded theory methodology. The narrative data depict the men's paths toward fatherhood. The themes elicited from their narratives suggested how gay men are changing traditional cultural norms for fathers, families, and masculinity. The authors propose that by degendering parenting, reconceptualizing family, and reworking masculine gender roles, gay fathers are expanding role norms in novel ways that may serve as alternative models for all families.     

A Comparative Analysis of Adoptive Family Functioning with Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Parents and Their Children

Abstract

The objectives of this comparative study were to examine adoptive family functioning with a sample of gay, lesbian, and heterosexual adoptive parents and their children. The results suggested that parent sexual orientation is not a significant predictor of adoptive family functioning, adopted child's behavior, and parent's perceptions of helpfulness from family support networks. Furthermore, a regression analysis suggested the following variables were associated with higher levels of family functioning: adoptive parents who were previously foster parents and children who had more previous placements prior to adoption. Lower family functioning was associated with children adopted through CPS; with children who had mental health diagnoses, learning disorders, or other handicapping conditions; and with children who were in a higher grade in school. The results of this comparative study of adoptive families support the need for more methodologically rigorous research that includes gay and lesbian adoptive parents along with heterosexual parents.     

Achieving Competent Family Practice with Same-Sex Parents

Abstract

Due to the increasing recognition of same-sex marriage in different jurisdictions and growing numbers of parents raising children in the context of a same-sex relationship, it is becoming ever more important for family therapists to attain clinical competence in working with families headed by same-sex parents. This paper takes as its premise that good intentions and general acceptance of diversity are not sufficient in working with this population of families. Rather, clinical competence rests on experience working with lesbian and gay clients and knowledge of the impact of heterosexism on parenting in the context of same-sex relationships. Equally critical to competent family therapy practice is a theoretical framework that pulls together complementary concepts from different bodies of theory to analyze family structures and functions in the social context of heterosexism. To this end, this paper reviews family systems theory, structural social work, ecological systems theory and queer theory with an eye to culling complementary constructs relevant to working with same-sex parents. Specific aspects of family functioning such as maintenance of boundaries around and within families and role differentiation between parents are then explored using this theoretical framework. Finally, implications for the clinician working with families led by same-sex parents are reviewed.     

“My Adoptive Father”

Abstract

Gay men's intimate life worlds have been the topic of some empirical inquiry since the late twentieth century. Drawing on the symbolism of love, friendship, and biology, these studies discuss the recent changes in queer communities that have shaped contemporary discourse about gay and lesbian family life. What appears missing in these intimate accounts are the lesser known readings of gay male intimate relationships which are both sensitive to the complex, interactive, and often contradictory experiences of everyday family life and attentive to the contextual ways these stories become constructed. This paper is a presentation of an experimental case study narrative which grapples with the practical, everyday considerations of what it means to create and sustain a supportive familial relationship between two gay men. Documenting the complexities of this contemporary familial arrangement provides us with some important opportunities for gay storytelling. In this instance, it allowed the author to better understand how two gay men like Ted and Simon came to construct their own notions of a father-son relationship. It also encourages us to explore how new gay identities and relationships are forged and negotiated over time through the biographical lens of family membership.     

Ethnographic Study of Gay and Bisexual Working-Class Men in the United States

SUMMARY

Thirty-nine working-class gay and bisexual men were interviewed using ethnographic techniques to better understand their resilience in light of homophobia, heterosexism, classism, AIDS, violence and discrimination. Several themes emerged: heterosexual assumption, sense of difference, socialized to hide, gay identity confusion, coming-out as an ongoing process, managing stigma, conflict with religion, family support, relationships, self-concept, working-class attitudes, and drug and alcohol abuse.     

Chapter 14. Older Lesbian and Gay Caregivers

SUMMARY

This chapter will explore the experiences of older lesbian and gay men caregivers by examining the socio-historical times in which they have lived, the impact of a lifetime of adverse societal messages about homosexuality, family rejection, and internalized homophobia, as well as their development of resiliency and psychological well-being. Once the contextual issues have been identified, the research on older lesbian and gay caregivers for families of origin and families of choice will be explored.     

Queering the Home

Abstract

In the West, the private sphere of the home is traditionally associated with the heterosexual nuclear family. Through social, cultural, and legal processes, the heterosexual bond has been constructed as central to the family home. Despite these dominant discourses, the home is also a space in which heteronormativity (or the unacknowledged assumption that heterosexuality is the natural and normal form of sexuality) may be subverted. This article considers how the domestic lives of lesbian and gay couples in England challenge the heteronormativity prevalent in dominant discourses of the home. Drawing on in-depth interviews with lesbians and gay men, the article continues to extend and build on the existing literature on queer domesticity by focusing on how lesbian and gay couples divide and understand domestic labor in their homes. The perceived normativity of coupled domesticity and childrearing means that on the one hand the lesbian and gay participants in this study could be seen to fit in with normative ideals of domestic family life. On the other hand, I show how these couples subvert heteronormative assumptions about gendered household practices through their approaches and attitudes towards domestic labor and parenting. In particular, the article focuses on the complex ways in which lesbian and gay couples destabilize traditional domestic gender roles and queer the spaces of the home through the seemingly unremarkable, mundane practices and negotiations of domestic labor and childcare.     

An Exploratory Investigation of Gay Stepfathers' Perceptions of Their Role

Abstract

This phenomenological study explored the gay stepfather role in its definitions, evolution, and factors that influenced how it was assumed and performed. Five gay men, living in a gay stepfamily that included the full or joint custody of the biological children of their partner, were asked to describe their perceptions of their family role in an open-ended, semi-structured interview. Data from all interviews were analyzed using the Atlas ti computer program (Muhr, 1997) that allowed identification of themes held commonly among the participants. Overall, the participants described stepfather roles and stepfamilies in terms that do not appear to be significantly different from heterosexual counterparts. The participants consistently mentioned the need for flexibility and patience in developing various aspects of their stepfather role such as co-parent/caretaker and friend/confidant. All participants discussed commitment to their families and the benefits gained in their stepfather role. Most had an effective, working relationship with the children's mothers. Interestingly, disclosure was not an issue in these families, and they reported feeling supported by extended family members.     

The Adolescent Sexual Development of African American Gay Men with AIDS: Implications for Community-Based Practice

ABSTRACT

This qualitative study describes the adolescent sexual development of ten African American gay men living with AIDS. The informants retrospectively describe the challenges of being a gay adolescent in a mostly heterosexist and homophobic environment. They report unsupportive homophobic and heterosexist family members, community members and school officials. They also describe their burgeoning sexual orientation, sexual initiation as well as consensual and non-consensual sexual experiences with their peers. Additionally, several informants describe seeking sexual experiences with adult men. Later they suggest the adult men became their primary sources of emotional and psychological support. Implications for community practice, intervention and research with both African American gay adolescents and adult men living with AIDS are discussed.     

Desire,Cultural Dissonance,and Incentives for Remaining HIV-Negative

SUMMARY

This article, written from the personal observations of an HIVprevention coordinator in San Francisco, discusses some of the current challenges for gay and bisexual men'S primary HIVprevention efforts. Psychological issues of personal motivation and identity formation are lopked at within the framework of gay culture, pop culture, and the larger heterosexual culture emphasizing their influence on the lives of HIVnegative men. The article also looks at age-specific dimensions comparing the needs of adult men with those of much younger gay and bisexual men. Renewed energy and fresh ideas will be called for to make HIVprevention interventions relevant to the lives of these men. Though the examples and qualitative data cited are from San Francisco, similar phenomena are noted from other cities with gay networks within the U.S. and internationally, suggesting that the: experience of San Francisco men will be relevant to prevention providers in any other locales.