For the love of the children: the coming out process for lesbian and gay parents and stepparents

This research investigated the coming out decision and process for 23 lesbian and gay custodial stepfamilies. We argue that lesbian and gay stepfamilies represent a unique type of family, distinct from heterosexual stepfamilies and from lesbian and gay families who have children within the context of a lesbian or gay relationship. The coming out process is one developmental challenge that distinguishes lesbian and gay stepfamilies from these other types. Through interviews with both lesbian and gay parents and stepparents we explored their coming out process to significant others: the children, families of origin and ex-spouses. We discuss those factors influencing the decision and the consequences that developed in light of these decisions. Findings show that the coming out process for lesbian and gay co-parents is a flexible and familial one, primarily influenced by and centered around the needs of the children.     

A problem worthy to be noted by society and parents]

The problems in China faced by families and teachers dealing with the "only child" are discussed in this report. Out of 1144 students studied for this report, 26.2% came from 1-child families. Based on interviews with parents and teachers, the report determines that the only child shows a rapid development in intelligence, has a better standard of living than children from households of 2 or more children, and enjoys better health. However, the only child is found to be less equipped to deal with the pressures of daily life in spite of the above advantages, due mostly to the fact that his parents shelter him and do not allow him to deal with his own problems (some to the point of spoon-feeding their children who are old enough to attend school). The new governmental policy of 1 child per family, says the report, is in fact reversing population growth, yet seems to be creating a new generation of "little kings and queens" that are beginning to receive a sizable amount of attention from social workers. The main concern of social workers is that these children are being spoiled by their families and are creating difficulties in the classroom; namely, they 1) lack common courtesy and act superior to other children; 2) are willful, causing disturbances in the classroom; 3) lack discipline; and 4) seem to be lazier than other children. These characteristics are generally fostered in the home and parents are guilty of not enforcing discipline.     

Go home, gay boy! Or, why do Singaporean gay men prefer to "go home" and not "come out"?

Anglo-American ontologies posit that gay men should come out to match their outer selves with their inner ones. In Confucianized Singapore, however, gay men refrain from coming out to their parents to avoid shaming their families. Instead, they couch their homosexuality in kinship terms and "go home" with their boyfriends (Chou, 2000). "Going home" gains familial acceptance, but it does not challenge mainstream discourses of homosexuality. By examining how Singaporean gay men negotiate their sexuality with their families, I question the validity of coming out and going home as both ontological discourses and strategies.     

Gay and lesbian parents

An anonymous survey of 23 gay and lesbian parents and 16 heterosexual single parents was conducted in order to see whether the parents' homosexuality created special problems or benefits or both, for their children. Both sets of parents reported relatively few serious problems and generally positive relationships with their children, with only a minority encouraging sex-typed toys, activities, and playmates. Heterosexual parents made a greater effort to provide an opposite-sex role model for their children, but no other differences in their parenting behaviors were found. Gay and lesbian parents saw a number of benefits and relatively few problems for their children as a result of their homosexuality, with lesbians perceiving greater benefits than gay men. Conversely, the gay males reported greater satisfaction with their first child, fewer disagreements with their partners over discipline, and a greater tendency to encourage play with sex-typed toys than did the lesbians. The findings suggest that being homosexual is clearly compatible with effective parenting and is not a major issue in parents' relationships with their children.     

Homosexuality and neurosis: considerations for psychotherapy

Though there is no correlation between mental illness and homosexuality, there are unique concerns that play a role in symptomatology and psychotherapy around neurotic and characterological issues in gay patients. Homophobia, both in the therapist and in the patient, external and internalized, is the significant "hidden" factor. Lack of training around transference and countertransference issues with gay patients and lack of teaching about homosexuality in training programs contribute to the difficulties encountered in psychotherapy with gay people. There are some problems and concerns specific to being homosexual that may bring patients to therapy: "coming-out," deciding on sexual orientation, desire to change orientation, and a unique "AIDS neurosis." The therapist needs to have an objective knowledge of the gay community and be willing to examine personal beliefs and reactions to work effectively with gay patients.     

Purchasing Piety? Coresidence of Married Children With Their Older Parents in Japan

We investigated the conditions under which married children live with their older parents in Japan. We focused on how needs and resources in each generation are associated with whether married couples live with their parents in parent-headed and child-headed households, and we also investigated difference in power relations between older and younger generations and between children and their spouses. We analyzed a nationally representative sample of older parents (n = 3,853) and their married children (n = 8,601) from the 1999 Nihon University Japanese Longitudinal Study of Aging (NUJLSOA). Mutinomial regression revealed that married children with relatively affluent parents tended to live with them in parent-headed households and that married children with parents who are in relatively poor health or who are widowed tended to live with them in child-headed households. We also found that less-educated married children tended to live in the households of their higher-income parents, suggesting that parents may be "purchasing" traditional arrangements with less-affluent children. In addition, children with an educational advantage over their spouses were more likely to have parents living with them in child-headed coresident households. We conclude that traditional multigenerational coresidence has become a commodity negotiated within families based on relative resources and needs within and across generations.     

Gay Men and Lesbian Women Who Become Parents in the Context of a Former Heterosexual Relationship: An Explorative Study in Italy

In Italy, homosexual people are not allowed to perform donor insemination/surrogacy or adoption, thus they become parents mainly in the context of previous heterosexual relationships. The current study examines the experiences of 34 gay fathers and 32 lesbian mothers with children from a heterosexual relationship. Data on homosexuality awareness, reasons for marriage and parenthood, and the coming-out process to children were collected. Most participants reported not being aware of their homosexuality when they married and became parents. The most common reasons for marriage were “love” and “social expectancy,” whereas parenthood was motivated mainly by the “desire for children and family.” Most participants came out to at least one child and reported a positive reaction. The most cited benefit of coming out was “openness/not hiding anymore.” The results suggest that the lives of gay and lesbian parents are shaped by their sexual minority status as well as by societal heterosexism.     

The careful balance of gender and sexuality: rural gay men, the heterosexual matrix, and "effeminophobia"

Based on life narratives, this article explores rural gay men's subjectivity in France and the United States. After growing up in rural cultures, these gay men tend to adopt similar hetero-centered ideas about masculinity. We show that these "conventional" ideas impact their sense of self as they express feelings of "effeminophobia." They differentiate themselves from effeminate gay men and emphasize their similarities with straight men. These ideas are both coercive and disciplinary as they homogenize rural gay men's discourse and masculine identities.     

Parental characteristics and the schooling progress of the children of immigrant and U.S.-born blacks

In this study, I examine disparities in schooling progress among children born to immigrant and U.S.-born blacks. I find that in one- and two-parent families, children born to black immigrants are less likely to fall behind in school than those born to U.S.-born blacks. In two-parent immigrant families, children born to two immigrant parents have a significant schooling advantage over children born to one immigrant parent. While children born to two immigrant parents in the wealthiest black immigrant families do better in the second generation than in the first, the reverse is observed among children in less wealthy families. These findings contribute in two ways to our understanding of the assimilation processes of children born to black immigrant parents. First, they show that there is a positive association between the number of immigrant parents in a family and children’s schooling performance. Second, they suggest that disparities in the assimilation patterns of the children of black immigrants are a likely product of the interaction between their parental characteristics and the socioeconomic circumstances of their families.     

Predator,Pet Lesbian,or Just The Nanny? LGBTQ Parents of Children With Disabilities Describe Categorization

How are lesbian/gay/bisexual/trans/queer (LGBTQ) parents of children with disabilities categorized by service providers, and how do parents anticipate, interpret, and respond to such categorizations? This intersectional study investigated the experiences of LGBTQ parents of children with disabilities with service providers in Toronto, Canada. Parents described pressures to “fit” into providers’ limited understanding of family. Some parents described facing overt discrimination, including one parent who was seen as a possible sexual predator. Some described being perceived as representatives of “diversity” for organizations, or “pet lesbians” in the words of one couple. Others described being misread as a non-parent, as in “just the nanny,” particularly in conjunction with their racial minority status. Parents described how their experiences of being “outside the mainstream” helped them challenge systems and normative beliefs. Findings suggest that a context of scarce disability resources shapes parents’ experiences of how LGBTQ identity comes to matter.     

农村50岁以上独生子女父母与子女经济互动及养老预期——基于对全国5县调查

根据对全国5县(区)抽样调查,农村50岁以上独生子女老年父母家庭有近6成空巢。尽管这些父母的大多数觉得2个及以上孩子对于养老来说更好,但依靠子女养老和多代同堂观念已大为削弱。这些家庭代际间财富流动以子女对父母反哺为主。6成独生子女父母赞成与子女分开住,即使子女今后搬到城镇住,也有近一半人明确表示不会到子女家住,但他们同时并未显示出对社会养老保障的信任,这种窘境使这些曾为人口控制做出突出贡献的老人面临严峻的养老挑战。     

Getting out in the "real world": young men, queer and theories of gay community

A recent opinion piece published in the Sydney Morning Herald expresses a widely held perception that, among young same-sex attracted men in Australia, "queer" has well and truly supplanted "gay" as the language and lens through which self and practice is generated. In this article, I discuss findings from a qualitative research project that studied notions of community among young gay men, and argue that this assumption should not be taken for granted. The article explores participants' understandings of the concept of "gay community," arguing that the young men studied share a common definition of community: one based on a conventional liberal model which prioritizes sameness and the cooperation of individuals to achieve common goals. This is of particular importance in that problems around "fitting in" with these understandings are also raised. In examining the potential place for queer alternatives to these formulations, however, the article finds that queer attracts little support among participants, raising questions about the bind young men may find themselves in if they prioritize sameness as fundamental to community, yet feel themselves to be excluded from community by their own or others' perceived difference.     

Neoliberal homophobic discourse: heteronormative human capital and the exclusion of queer citizens

In this article, I examine the relationship between homophobic language use and its broader social context, focusing on how a U.S.-based, conservative Christian organization's institutionalized homophobic text-making practices seek to derive legitimacy from the broader political economic discourses associated with the neoliberal moment. Using the Family Research Council's statement on marriage and the family as the basis for analysis, I demonstrate how the organization seeks to represent lesbian and gay subjects and their kinship formations as a threat to human capital development because they are based on affectional relationships that neither reflect nor respond to the kinds of self-governance and marketization that neoliberalism requires of all citizen-subjects and their families. Linguistic strategies for creating such representations include lexical choices that avoid overtly identifying lesbian and gay subjects as the object of discussion, the creation of a taxonomy for what constitutes "proper" families-based on neoliberal principles--that implicitly excludes lesbian and gay kinship formations, and the use of neoliberal discourses of self-governance and marketization as the basis for that exclusion.     

Clinicians’ Perspective of the Relational Processes for Family and Individual Development During the Mediation of Religious and Sexual Identity Disclosure

Although the psychological literature regarding gay men from religious families is continually expanding, it is also limited in that few studies focus on the use of therapy in the negotiation of the interrelated systems of religion, sexuality, and family. Utilizing a cultural historical activity theory-based process of analysis, this study focuses on the narratives of 12 clinicians discussing 230 conflicts and how those conflicts are mediated in both productive (e.g., seeking secular support) and unproductive ways (e.g., bringing one’s son to an exorcist) by gay men and their religious families independent of and at the advice of their therapists.     

"Asian" men on the scene: challenges to "gay communities"

This article examines common assumptions behind the notion of "gay community," contrasting these views with the experiences of homosexual men originating from Southeast Asia on the commercial gay scene in Melbourne, Australia. The narratives here reveal fragmented social networks involving various social groups, categories of people and an "In/Out" culture where informants were culturally marginal. Fitting into the scene culture involves processes of assimilation, and loss of connection even with supportive ethnic networks. While all men who look for a place to belong on the scene generally feel pressure to assimilate to a predominantly white middle-class gay culture, Southeast Asian men generally had more cultural distance to cover. Men who are not well assimilated face exclusion, invisibility and discrimination. Differences and discrimination within Southeast Asian based networks also contributed towards fragmented relations. This article raises questions about dominant gay cultural forms, assumptions of gay solidarity, and how ethnic minority men make sense of and negotiate their sexual and social experiences.     

Intersex mental health and social support options in pediatric endocrinology training programs

The birth of a child with an intersex condition is often an emotionally stressful event for parents. Preparation and ongoing support systems could be beneficial to both parents and children and would alleviate some of the shame and isolation associated with intersex conditions. To assess the extent to which psychological support is available, a short e-mail survey on this topic was sent to the directors of 50 pediatric endocrinology fellowship training programs (PEFTPs), who are most likely to evaluate and treat intersex children and their parents. Of the 29 PEFTPs that responded, 69% offer psychological support and 58% have a mental health specialist on staff. However, only 19% of patients or families receive emotional support during diagnosis and only 15% receive support after diagnosis. We found two barriers that prevent patients and families from receiving psychological help from their intersex care team. First, there is a lack of training for mental health professionals regarding the needs of intersex patients and families. Second, some families refuse help even though it is offered. This study reveals that further research is needed to overcome these two barriers regarding mental health treatment of intersex patients and families.     

Coming out to mom and dad: a study of gay males and their relationships with their parents

This study explores the relationship between gay men coming out to parents and specific perceived parental variables in an attempt to discriminate between parents who are more or less accepting. In addition, other factors such as how the disclosure occurs and reasons for coming out were investigated. Results indicate that most parents initially react negatively to the disclosure, but become more accepting over time. Parental values and characteristics associated with homophobia were found to be good predictors of the change in parent-son relationship following disclosure. However, the predictions were often in unexpected directions. The majority of respondents reported having a more positive relationship with their mothers than with their fathers, both before and after coming out.     

Dualism,Tension, and Integration: Dialectics as a Theme of Integration in Daily Lives of Israeli Gay Men Who Became Fathers Through Overseas Surrogacy

ABSTRACT

This article explores the constructed meanings of lived experiences of Israeli gay men who became parents through commercial overseas surrogacy. Based on the analysis of 39 in-depth, semistructured interviews with gay fathers, we show that their parenting experiences are shaped in contradictory ways, allowing them to adopt a reflective position in relation to existing social frameworks. Data from in-depth interviews reveal three major themes. The first refers to the gap between biogenetic and social concepts of parenthood and kinship. The second presents the dialectics between continuity and change that gay parenthood exhibits. The third theme focuses on the impact of these contradictions on gay parents’ identities and the construction of autonomy concepts in their lives. By doing so, we highlight the importance of tensions and contradictions in shaping the daily living experiences of gay parents, as well as the importance of dialectics in promoting gay parents’ integration within heteronormative society.     

Response of parents to learning that their child is homosexual and concern over AIDS: a national study

This study was a survey of 402 parents of gay and lesbian children from the northeastern, southern, midwestern, and western regions of the United States. Of particular interest was parental response to the knowledge of their child's homosexuality and the AIDS outbreak. Although parents suffered emotional upset upon learning of their children's homosexuality, many progressed through a five-stage grief process that ended with acceptance. Fear of the spread of AIDS, that their offspring might contract AIDS, or that their child might suffer from the backlash related to AIDS were concerns for most parents. Attitudes toward AIDS were not very different between mothers and fathers. However, older parents were more likely to have more positive attitudes toward AIDS than younger parents, and liberal parents were more likely to have a more positive outlook than their conservative counterparts.