Gay Fathers Expanding the Possibilities for Us All

Abstract

This article describes a qualitative research study of 21 men who became fathers as openly gay men. The fathers were interviewed using a semi-structured questionnaire in a focus group format. The data were analyzed using grounded theory methodology. The narrative data depict the men's paths toward fatherhood. The themes elicited from their narratives suggested how gay men are changing traditional cultural norms for fathers, families, and masculinity. The authors propose that by degendering parenting, reconceptualizing family, and reworking masculine gender roles, gay fathers are expanding role norms in novel ways that may serve as alternative models for all families.     

Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents

The purpose of this chapter is to review research literature concerning children of gay and lesbian parents. The review includes studies that compared children of lesbian mothers to children of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and varying aspects of psychological health and adjustment. Experiences and perceptions of children of gay fathers are also reviewed. The author's study found that adult-aged daughters of lesbian mothers did not significantly differ from adult daughters of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and social adjustment. Clinical and legal implications were drawn, and suggestions for future research were made.     

Sexism,Heterosexism, and Attributions About Undesirable Behavior in Children of Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Parents

SUMMARY

Existing research on heterosexuals' attitudes toward gay and lesbian parenting typically focuses on heterosexuals' views about whether or not gay men and lesbians should be parents. Although a significant literature describes positive outcomes for actual gay and lesbian parenting, research has not specifically examined the effect of these attitudes on heterosexuals' evaluations of parenting skills, competency in parenting situations, or attributions about behavior in children of lesbian and gay parents. Two hundred twenty participants responded to a series of vignettes describing a restaurant scene in which two parents respond to their child's public tantrum. Sexual orientation and gender of the active parent in the heterosexual condition were varied. Heterosexism, evaluation of parenting skills, and attributions for child's behavior were assessed. Unexpectedly, gay male parenting skills were rated most positively, and heterosexual parenting skills (where a woman was the active parent) most negatively. Both traditional and modern heterosexism predicted negative evaluations in the same-sex parenting conditions with modern heterosexism (denial of continued discrimination) explaining a larger portion of the variance in several outcome measures. It is suggested that differences in gender role expectations for men and women encourage excessive praise for men who interact with children and condemnation of women who disappoint unrealistic expectations.     

Expanding “Irish Family” Repertoires: Exploring Gay Men's Experiences as Parents in the Republic of Ireland

ABSTRACT

This article explores gay men's parenting experiences and practices in order to seek insight into how gay men accept or challenge heterosexual family norms and how “family” is understood in the Irish context. It is based on small-scale qualitative research (interviews) with seven gay fathers. Despite the limited routes to parenthood for gay men in Ireland, the research findings indicate that the participants enjoy parenting and that they are motivated in their parenting practices. The gay fathers in this study are participative parents who have made significant decisions in their lives in order to prioritize their children's welfare. The diversity of family constellations and care arrangements that surround gay fathering in Ireland can expand family and care repertoires beyond the traditional biparent heterosexual norm. Gay fathers in Ireland appear to enjoy some security at the private familial level and in the responses from their families and communities, but they are keenly aware that nontraditional families are given less status in Irish society. Unlike other jurisdictions, gay parenting is not articulated by the gay fathers in this research as a rights-based argument. Instead, these Irish gay fathers are de facto activists who seek to “humanize” gay parenting.     

Gay men and fatherhood: Doing gender,queering gender,and the package deal

The gay fatherhood literature offers a unique opportunity to analyze, apply, and explore the nuances of gender and family theories. To do this, this review will implement three theoretical models: doing gender, queer theory, and the package deal. Gay men can be viewed as both doing gender when parenting and undoing or queering traditional ideas about gender and family. It appears gay fathers are readily aware of these gendered parenting roles, but do not want their parenting to be constrained by them. Townsend's ( 2002 ) package deal, present in his sample of heterosexual fathers, is relevant to research on gay fathers. An explanation of the importance of research on gay fathers and suggestions of future research on this demographic are made.     

Men in Traditional and Nontraditional Careers: Gender Role Attitudes,Gender Role Conflict,and Job Satisfaction

Men established in traditional (mechanical engineering, n = 100) and nontraditional (elementary school counseling, n = 100) careers were compared on their career compromise choices (sex type vs. prestige), adherence to masculinity ideology, gender role conflict, and job satisfaction. The engineers tended to choose sex type over prestige; the school counselors indicated a clear preference for prestige. The engineers reported more traditional gender role attitudes. The gender role variables had little predictive value for the career compromise choices. The Gender Role Conflict Scale (J. M. O'Neil, B. J. Helms, R. K. Gable, L. David, & L. S. Wrightsman, 1986) Conflict Between Work and Family Relations subscale predicted job satisfaction for both groups.     

Social and Demographic Characteristics of Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Adults with and Without Children

SUMMARY

This is the first study to compare lesbian mothers (n = 150), lesbians without children (n = 236), heterosexual mothers (n = 175), heterosexual women without children (n = 38), gay fathers (n = 40), gay men without children (n = 163), heterosexual fathers (n = 157), and heterosexual men without children (n = 32) on social and demographic characteristics. Demographic differences included age, education, length of relationship, religion, and geographic location. Only 28% of gay fathers and 37% of lesbian mothers had at least one child from their current relationship. For women the most important factor in predicting contact with family of origin was sexual orientation, while for men it was parenting status. More gay and lesbian parents had disclosed their sexual orientation than those without children. Gay fathers reached most milestones in the coming-out process between 2.5 and 4 years later than gay men without children, while lesbian mothers reached all milestones in the coming-out process 3 to 5 years later than lesbians without children. Lesbian mothers who had children before coming out reached developmental milestones 4 to 8 years later than lesbian mothers who had children after coming out.     

Sexual Education,Gender Ideology,and Youth Sexual Empowerment

Sexual education plays an essential role in preventing unplanned pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). School-based sexual education programs, in particular, may be well positioned to address social factors that are empirically linked to negative sexual health outcomes, such as traditional social norms surrounding gender and sexuality. However, youth are seldom granted access to sexual education programs that explicitly address these issues. This study presents findings from a pretest–posttest survey of a sexual education program that did. It was designed for eighth graders (N=95) in the context of a school–community collaboration. The study assessed the links between several components of sexual empowerment, including gender ideology, sexual knowledge, and contraceptive beliefs. Findings link participation in the sexual education program to more progressive attitudes toward girls and women, less agreement with hegemonic masculinity ideology, and increases in sexual health and resource knowledge. Structural equation models suggest that traditional attitudes toward women were significantly related to hegemonic masculinity ideology among both boys and girls, which was in turn negatively related to safer contraceptive beliefs.     

The emotional toll of postfeminist fatherhood

Postfeminism shapes the political economy of the workforce and household, constituting a re-entrenchment of traditional heterosexual gender regimes and the pressure to transgress them. Focusing on the understudied area of postfeminist masculinity, we analyze the emotional toll some fathers experience as a result of the fraught expectations to be the breadwinner, nurturing parent, and enlightened feminist spouse who completes equal domestic duties. Using empirical data of parents’ participation in a family-based health intervention, we argue that the paradoxical expectation to enact traditional gender relations and to adopt gender egalitarianism is exhausting, upsetting, and confusing for fathers. By focusing on the affective dimensions of postfeminism, we demonstrate how working to achieve the impossible expectation of doing “it all,” a bind that women have been caught in for centuries, takes an emotional toll on fathers and couples, leading to discontent at work and home, and in regard to their self-concept, parental role, and spousal relationship. We close by offering counter examples of fathers and couples who have disengaged from postfeminist parenting relations and have reached a state of contentment. Contrary to the alignment of postfeminism with positive affect, the experience of resisting postfeminist resulted in feelings of joy, pride, and satisfaction.     

“It Takes a Man to Put Me on the Bottom”: Gay Men’s Experiences of Masculinity and Anal Intercourse

In anal intercourse between gay men, men who are typically insertive (“tops”) are often perceived as, and may identify as, more masculine than those who are typically receptive (“bottoms”). “Versatile” men, who may adopt either position, may be perceived as more gender balanced and may transcend the gender-role stereotypes associated with self-labeling as top or bottom. The aim of this study was to explore how gay men’s beliefs about masculinity were associated with their beliefs about the gendered nature of sexual self-labels and their behavior in anal intercourse. Individual semistructured interviews were undertaken with 17 UK-based gay men. Interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) identified that perceptions of tops and bottoms as gendered social identities varied depending on the extent to which gay men subscribed to the mandates of hegemonic masculinity, the dominant masculinity in Western society. The findings also suggested that some gay men differentiated between top and bottom as social identities and topping and bottoming as gendered behaviors. This had implications for gay men’s behaviors in anal intercourse. It is suggested that future efforts to engage with gay men about their sexual behavior should account for their beliefs regarding the gender-role stereotypes associated with gay sexual self-labels.     

Integrating Sexual Orientation in Career Counseling: Acting to End a Form of the Personal-Career Dichotomy

Ignoring sexual orientation in career counseling practice is presented as a specific case of failing to integrate an aspect of the personal dimension into career counseling. Three case examples illustrate specific actions that career counselors must take to integrate this important aspect of the personal dimension into career counseling. The actions suggested involve three general areas: (a) signaling lesbian and gay affirmation in career counseling practice, (b) enhancing the development of a positive gay or lesbian identity in the context of career development work, and (c) recognizing and integrating the reality of anti-gay stigma in career counseling.     

Gender,work-family conflicts,and perceived parental success: The moderating role of gender ideology

ABSTRACT

We know little about how perceptions of conflict between work and family shape the subjective views of dual-earner parents. Given time constraints and the prevalence of gendered parenting norms, gender ideologies and work-family conflicts may help explain perceived parental success. Using data from the 2002 National Study of the Changing Workforce, I explore whether gender ideology moderates how conflicts between work and family relate to perceived parental success. Among dual-earner mothers, work-to-family conflict was negatively related to perceived parental success. For dual-earner fathers, work-to-family conflict was positively associated with perceived parental success among more traditional fathers, while the opposite was the case for more egalitarian fathers. Family-to-work conflict was only negatively related to the perceived parental success of more traditional fathers. These findings suggest that gender ideologies are more central in explaining how work-family conflicts relate to fathers’ perceived parental success compared to that of mothers.     

Effect of Normative Masculinity on Males’ Dysfunctional Sexual Beliefs,Sexual Attitudes,and Perceptions of Sexual Functioning

Male sexual dysfunction is a prevalent and distressing condition, which may be exacerbated by the sufferer's perceptions of masculinity and normative sexual behavior. This study sought to investigate the effect of social context on males’ beliefs regarding sexual behavior. The research examined the effect of male role modeling and masculine cues on males’ dysfunctional sexual beliefs, sexual attitudes, and self-perceptions of sexual functioning. A sample of 140 male participants, with a mean age of 29 years, was exposed to pictorial and verbal cues that presented different versions of male behavior across three conditions. Results indicated that males exposed to models and cues of traditional masculinity showed significantly increased levels of dysfunctional sexual beliefs and traditional sexual attitudes relative to males exposed to models of modern masculinity. Results also indicated that males exposed to traditional masculine stimuli reported lower levels of sexual inhibition due to fear of performance failure than males exposed to models of modern masculinity. The potential role of social context is discussed in the development and maintenance of male sexual dysfunction and its implications for treatment.     

Through the Lens of Sexual Stigma: Attitudes Toward Lesbian and Gay Parenting

Drawing from the literature on sexual stigma, the principal aim of this study was to investigate predictors of heterosexual's internalization of negative attitudes regarding lesbian and gay parenting and the mediating role of beliefs in the controllability of homosexuality. A Portuguese sample of 1,430 heterosexual women and 502 heterosexual men responded to an online questionnaire about attitudes toward lesbian and gay parenting. Structural equation modeling was used to explore attitudinal predictors and mediation analysis. Mediation analyses revealed that sexual prejudice toward same-gender-parented families was predicted by gender, age, education, and religiosity, in that heterosexual men, those who were older, had less education, and were more religious held significantly more negative beliefs about lesbian and gay parenting, as well as lower perception of benefits associated with lesbian and gay parenting. Further, etiological beliefs mediated the effects of gender, age, and religiosity on sexual attitudes, highlighting the importance of the perception of controllability of homosexuality in justifying sexual prejudice.     

Reactions to Participating in Intimate Partner Violence and Minority Stress Research: A Mixed Methodological Study of Self-Identified Lesbian and Gay Emerging Adults

The purpose of this study was to examine lesbian and gay (LG) young adults’ reactions to participating in intimate partner violence (IPV) and minority stress research using a mixed methodological design. Participants were 277 U.S. college students currently involved in same-sex relationships and self-identified cisgender LG who completed an online questionnaire that included closed- and open-ended questions. Results suggested that IPV research was well tolerated by the vast majority of participants; close to one in 10 participants reported being upset by the study questions, yet 75% of upset individuals reported some level of personal benefit. Reasons for upset as identified in the open-ended responses included thinking about personal experiences with IPV, as the perpetrator or friend of a victim, as well as thinking about the uncertainty of their future with their current partner. The correlates of emotional reactions and personal benefits to research participation were also examined, and these varied among gay men and lesbian women. Implications of these findings underscore the importance of accurate reflection of risk and benefits in informed consent documents as well as systematic evaluation of sexual minority participants’ reactions to research participation in an effort to conduct ethically sound sexual science research.     

Paternal Involvement with Children: The Influence of Gender Ideologies

Although prior social science research has established the ability of gender ideologies to influence the domestic division of labor, it has neglected to disentangle their potentially unique influence on paternal involvement with children. Past research examining the influence of gender ideology on parenting behaviors does not acknowledge potential differences that may result from accounting for each parent's gender ideology. Using both waves of the National Survey of Families and Households (N = 1,088), I assess the effect of both mother's and father's gender ideology on two measures of paternal involvement. Whereas egalitarian fathers demonstrate greater involvement than traditional fathers, mother's gender ideology failed to predict paternal involvement. Egalitarian mothers do not appear to negotiate greater father involvement successfully.     

“We’re Just Family,You Know?” Exploring the Discourses of Family in Gay Parents’ Relational Talk

ABSTRACT

To date, little is known about how gay male parents discursively create and sustain family identity and how they position themselves in relation to the dominant heteronormative discourses of the traditional family. Framed relational dialectics theory – this study explored the meaning(s) of family and fatherhood in married gay fathers’ relational talk. I interviewed 13 married gay parent dyads and conducted follow-up interviews to collect data across time as well as member check initial results. Using contrapuntal analysis, I identified the discourses of traditional family structure and nontraditional family structure at play. I argue that the couples’ talk reflected discursive struggles to generate relational meanings for their family identities.     

Factors Linked with Coparenting Support and Conflict After Divorce

We examined the relationship between personal and interpersonal indicators of postdivorce adjustment and dimensions of coparenting (support, overt conflict, covert conflict) using data from 176 recently divorced mothers. Mothers’ satisfaction with the divorce decree, perceptions of fathers as important for child development, and being satisfied with fathers’ parenting were associated with more supportive coparenting. Mothers’ satisfaction with the divorce decree and fathers’ parenting were associated with less overt conflict. Factors differed for mothers’ reports of their own and their former spouses’ use of covert conflict behaviors, with these factors linked to satisfaction with the divorce decree and perceived stress, respectively.     

MY TICKET,MY "SELF": LOTTERY TICKET NUMBER SELECTION AND THE COMMODIFICATION AND EXTENSION OF THE SELF

According to the research literature, college‐educated women provide the most consistent support for nontraditional sex‐role attitudes. Conversely, working‐class males are supposedly the most ambivalent toward changes in gender roles. The present study involves a direct comparison of the attitudes of two different samples: one employed in blue‐collar occupations and the other enrolled in a small, private university. Some of the responses to an eleven‐item scale of sex‐role attitudes are consistent with the results of previous research. For example, women are generally more nontraditional than men. However, most surprising is the finding that male college students are the most conservative subgroup included in this study. By the senior year of college, students have become more liberal, but the “gender gap” persists. Parents’ educational status and fathers’ occupational status are statistically significant variables for female but not for male students. The authors conclude that the uncertain but dynamic relationship between socioeconomic status and sex‐role ideology will require further clarification and specification.     

Black heterosexuals’ attitudes toward lesbians and gay men in the United States

Although the direction and intensity of Black heterosexuals’ attitudes toward homosexuality have been topics for considerable speculation, empirical data from representative samples previously have not been available. In the current article we report findings from a two‐wave telephone survey with a national probability sample of 391 Black heterosexual adults. Results indicated that negative attitudes toward homosexuality are widespread but do not appear to be more prevalent among Blacks than among Whites. Gender differences in Black heterosexuals’ attitudes (men's attitudes toward gay men were more negative than their attitudes toward lesbians or women's attitudes toward gay men) appeared to result primarily from men's greater tendency to regard male homosexuality as unnatural. The single most important predictor of attitudes was the attribution of choice to sexual orientation: Respondents who believed that homosexuality is beyond an individual's control expressed significantly more favorable attitudes toward gay men and lesbians than did respondents who regarded homosexuality as a choice. Consistent with previous research in predominantly White samples, respondents were more likely to express favorable attitudes if they were highly educated, unmarried, politically liberal, registered to vote and not religious, and if they included Blacks in their concept of gay men. In addition, respondents reported more favorable attitudes if they had experienced personal contact with gay men or lesbians, but this was not a significant predictor of attitudes when other variables were statistically controlled. Possible differences between Blacks’ and Whites’ social constructions of sexual orientation are discussed.