Grief Communication and Privacy Rules: Examining the Communication of Individuals Bereaved by the Death of a Family Member

Communication about one’s grief is both essential and complicated. We employ communication privacy management theory to examine how bereaved individuals manage the revelation and concealment of private information about the death of a parent or sibling. In-depth interviews (N = 21) with the bereaved indicate that (a) they conceptualize information surrounding the death and their grief as private, (b) they create rules to govern their private information, and (c) violations of those rules result in turbulence. Specifically, individuals employ selectivity, avoidance, and positivity rules that dictate what and with whom they share. We discuss the implications of our findings on grief communication scholarship, CPM theory, and practical issues for helping bereaved individuals and their loved ones navigate discussions about death and the deceased.     

Absent bodies and present memories: marking out the everyday and the future in Eastern Sri Lanka

Drawing from ethnographic work carried out between 2005 and 2007, this article considers the ways in which a women’s network has developed strategies to find meaning around the absences of loved ones, killed or ‘disappeared’ during the decades of conflict in Sri Lanka. For most of these women, the fate of their husbands, brothers, sons and fathers is not known and the lack of answers means that they are unable to fully grieve and find closure. In order to survive, they must find ways to deal with the absent bodies and present memories of those who may never be located and accounted for. These strategies include tree-planting ceremonies carried out as a way of not only remembering and mourning loved ones but also asking questions about how one makes sense of loss and what it means to carry the burden of unanswered absences through everyday life and into the future.     

When the Management of Grief Becomes Everyday Life: The Aftermath of Murder

This study examines how others indicate that our emotions violate social norms and how people feel about and respond to those indications. The data come from in‐depth interviews with thirty‐two people who had recently lost a loved one to murder (“bereaved victims”). Through the symbolic interaction process, bereaved victims came to appreciate the burden their grief imposed on others, and some of them took steps to minimize that burden. Despite their awareness of the burden, however, many of the bereaved expected others to express heartfelt sympathy for their loss. Instead, people offered inappropriate (and even hurtful) responses, including avoiding the topic of their loss, offering unnecessarily dramatic responses to the loss, and telling them to move on. The responses suggest that current feeling rules and emotion norms surrounding grief do not reflect the true extent of bereaved people's actual experiences, creating awkward situations for potential supporters and the bereaved.     

The Male Way of Mourning Divorce: When, What, and How

Based on the literature on divorce, this paper explores the distinct ways in which men mourn the losses inherent in the breakup of a marriage. It argues that men have a distinct way of mourning that differs from that of women. They start the mourning process later than women, mourn the loss of their home and children more than the loss of their wives, and tend to express their mourning through actions rather than in words or obvious emotional manifestations of grief. The paper considers possible reasons for these behaviors and their implications for practitioners.     

Where can I mourn? Psychodynamic contributions to working in residential child care

ABSTRACT

Loss permeates the experience of being placed in residential child care, yet residential workers are rarely trained to work with young people who are grieving the loss of family and home. This article will provide an overview of psychodynamic theories of mourning, and will discuss how grief work can be facilitated for children and youth in residential child care.     

PARENTAL DEATH AS A PRECIPITANT OF MARITAL CONFLICT IN MIDDLE AGE*

When a long-standing marriage suddenly becomes conflictual, one precipitant can be the recent death of the parent of one of the partners. The bereaved spouse can identify with the deceased parent, attacking or withdrawing from his or her partner; or he/she can become irrationally angry because the partner cannot replace an idealized parent. The main goal of therapy is to facilitate the bereaved partner's mourning of the dead parent. Choosing an effective therapeutic method depends on the couple's capacity for mutual empathy and support and their need for insight. Without marital therapy, unrecognized mourning may contribute to the breakdown of long-standing marriages.     

Social work intervention with bereaved children

Abstract

Bereavement in childhood can seriously affect a child's development. There is a tendency to diminish the child's experience of loss because bereaved parents are often less sensitive to their children and because children express their grief in a more discreet manner than is typical of adult grief. This tendency leads to the child's needs being underestimated and under-reported. A model of social work intervention which advocates short-term involvement has been shown to have a significant effect upon the well-being of the child and his family. The paper begins with a brief review of the literature on mourning, which highlights various perspectives on the role and nature of the process. A model of mourning which embraces the differences between adult and child mourning will be proposed which is informed by the principles of attachment theory and defined as a continuing process of adjustment rather than a resolvable experience of loss. This model of mourning has implications for social work intervention and is the foundation of the practice model. The practice model involves six bereavement counselling sessions with the parent, six play sessions with the child and formal and informal involvement with the child's teacher. It has four aims: (I) to enhance sensitivity in the parent to the child's experience of loss and mode of mourning, (2) to develop an improved pattern of communication within the child-parent relationship, (3) to develop resources for the child in his personal environment and (4) to enhance the child's resourcefulness within his mourning thus enabling him to feel more competent in the longer term. The model is founded upon an awareness of the need for short-term intervention within the context of a long-term issue and seeks to address both perspectives simultaneously. Some of children's commoner responses to bereavement will be outlined within the context of the play sessions and methods for resolving the problems associated with them will be discussed. Finally the nature of reasonable outcomes for the work will be considered.     

Longing for Mourning

“Longing for Mourning” is a meditation on the verities of events that establish the ostensible stability of supposedly ordinary relationships—commitment, house-buying, and marriage. Influenced by the long history of meditations and commentarial literature on loss and aesthetics, this biographical essay is written as an aesthetic embodiment of theoretical positions. It ruminates on the forms through which time, death, loss, and repeated mourning transform such verities when they are the life story of an interracial, interclass, transcontinental and transnational relationship between two women.     

Searching for a Narrative of Loss: Interactional Ordering of Ambiguous Grief

In this article I analyze the collective management of ambiguous emotions in the case of grief arising from perinatal loss/stillbirth. Based on a content analysis of selected Polish discussion lists for bereaved parents and interviews with moderators of these lists, I conceptualize the experience of grief arising from miscarriage/stillbirth as both culturally “disembedded”—not regulated by a coherent set of feeling and display rules, and interactionally “disenfranchised”—framed by the immediate social surrounding of the bereaved as illegitimate. This study then focuses on subsequent social processes surrounding the collective management of such emotions through interactions within online bereavement communities, leading to the creation of local definitions of the situation of loss and formation of subcultural feeling and display rules of grief. I posit that in a wider perspective these community processes can be seen as grassroots mechanisms that agents use to transform the existing emotional culture of grief.     

Loss,role change and values

While helping professions view loss and bereavement as psychosocial processes, their major focus has been on psychological management. Relatively little attention has been spent in dealing with the role change that loss incurs, especially its negative value dimensions, which is as much a part of the mouring process as psychological change. Social work is uniquely suited to connect role change as an experience of value to ego in helping the bereaved individual regain a new sense of self. Case illustrations with illuminate the dialectical structure of this interaction. They will also identify the kinds of adaptive tasks the client faces and the helping strategies the social worker employs.     

The mourning after Hillsborough

There are continuing claims that in our society death is a taboo subject, and that bereaved people have lost touch with mourning rituals. This view seems to be challenged by the extensive mourning rituals on Merseyside in the fortnight in April 1989 following the Hillsborough tragedy, and by the simultaneous media debates about what would constitute appropriate mourning. The article analyses both the media debates and the rituals in order to ascertain whether these contradict the ‘taboo’ thesis, or whether they were unique to Merseyside and/or to a particular disaster.     

Post-Suicide Grief Work In Family Therapy

The following case report describes the treatment of a family following the death by suicide of its principle male figure. It describes the way the various family members were helped to deal with the unresolved grief reaction that had come to play a destructive role in the life of this bereaved family. Working with the family group allowed a direct observation of the mourning processes of the various family members. In particular, we could see the attempt of the identified child patient at keeping the memory of the lost object alive become an obstacle to a natural resolution of her mother's mourning at that same loss.     

Memory Healing Processes and Community Intervention in Grief Work in Africa

Western literatures on bereavement acknowledge the tendency to pathological grieving among some bereaved persons. The phenomenon of pathological mourning, however, is rare in Africa because of the presence of coherent and transformative rituals of mourning. This article argues that such rituals and performative experiences heal by addressing four principal aspects of the memory of the bereaved individual. The article elaborates on the content, process, symbolic meanings and clinical potency of these rituals.     

What Is Love without Mourning? Male Intimacies and Cultures of Loss

In this article, the author considers loss and mourning in relation to male homosexual love. He uses mourning as a framework through which to raise questions about the social and cultural status of gay male love in contemporary societies. He argues that loving within heteronormative cultures of intimacy creates forms of vulnerability for gay men and that this is often compounded at times of personal loss. He uses a psychoanalytic framework to consider the important role of culture in the mourning process and reflects on the ways that cultural forms, practices and representations provide the context through which mourning can be both facilitated and disabled. Recent examples from popular culture are used to consider the important role, and often significant absence, of symbolic frameworks through which gay men can enter into dialogues of mourning. In conclusion, the author argues that the social valuing of loss is intimately bound up with the social valuing of love.     

Bereavement & grief related to the loss of a parent

The death of my mother taught me valuable lessons about life and death (Spear, 2002), and the years since have provided me with a first-hand understanding of the grieving process. These personal experiences have allowed me to develop insight about and sensitivity to the experiences of others who are faced with death and dying, and the resultant psychoemotional feelings associated with permanent loss. It is important for nurses and others to be responsive to the complex and individualized grieving process of those who live through the death of a loved one.     

Reflexivity and Qualitative Family Research:

The author uses her experiences with death and bereavement to select her research problem and to become a sensitive collaborator and listener with others who had the same experience of the loss of a loved one. From deep listening and opening of her heart to colleagues she began the integration of personal, empirical, theoretical, practical and spiritual knowledge into her research. A reconceptualization of maternal bereavement occurred. It is an open, fluid, dialectical process of change.     

Some Questions for Linda Mitchel on Loss and Bereavement

Resolving loss is the theme of this issue's interview. Linda Mitchell offers something in her employee counseling services that more employee assistance specialists need to address - helping clients better understand and resolve the sense of loss. She is a skilled psychotherapist with a specialty in counseling on "loss-related issues." She has designed and conducted support groups dealing with issues such as bereavement, self-esteem, job loss. As a skilled psychotherapist she has provided counseling and education to families experiencing a death of a loved one. In addition to seeing chemically dependent clients in her practice, she has experience counseling people with AIDS. Another part of her practice a assisting individuals in dealing with various life issues such as a change in a job position, or the loss of employment.     

Preholiday grief. Facing it alone.

These strategies for coping with the holidays following a loss can be shared not only in a group format such as a preholiday workshop, but also on a one-to-one basis by caring health professionals. To be effective in promoting adaptation to loss, it is vital that health-care professionals heighten their awareness of the needs and reactions of the grieving person. Their sensitivity to the anxiety and pain that can accompany the holiday season must increase. Only when awareness and sensitivity increase will there be an increase in the development of effective bereavement outreach programs. Through such programs the bereaved can experience positive encounters with caring professionals who can help them establish a new sense of hope, purpose, and renewed self-esteem.     

Leaving, longing, and loving: a developmental perspective of migration

Migration has a profound impact on a person's life. The author attempts to establish that dealing with the loss of country resembles the developmental task in late adolescence of mourning the childhood parents and may, in fact, serve as a parallel process. Mourning as a result of loss of country is examined; this is followed by a look at the threat to identity posed by the migration process. The point is made that a country is an object, a nonhuman object, with which one develops a relationship. Attention is paid to nostalgia, in which the ideational content tends to be nonhuman rather than human. Similarities of a parent and a country are pointed out, as well as similarities between parent loss and loss of country. Finally, the parallel between mourning the childhood parents and mourning following loss of country is highlighted in a case vignette.     

“She was more than a friend”: Clinical intervention strategies for effectively addressing disenfranchised grief issues for same-sex couples

This article focuses on grief experienced by same-sex couples with attention to the distinct factors that influence same-sex grieving partners within all social work system levels. An actual case narrative—the first author's lived experience—guides the reader through a powerful, personal journey to gain a greater perspective and connection on the impact of grief and loss. The concept of disenfranchised grief is applied to same-sex couples focusing on the grieving process. The authors delineate effective strategies for practitioner intervention for those working with individuals experiencing grief due to the loss of their same-sex partner. Particular emphasis is placed on cultural competence and cultural humility for enhanced effectiveness while working with same-sex-partner grief issues.