Choosing Family: Meaning and Membership in the Lesbian Family of Choice

SUMMARY

This conceptual/theoretical article uses the psychodynamic Self Psychology model for the development of a vital, harmonious, and cohesive self to describe and understand the psychological importance of family for lesbian women. How can a healthy lesbian self be developed, nurtured, and maintained in an oppressive sexist and homophobic world? Family relationships are shown to fulfill the three fundamental psychological functions that sustain the lesbian self. In the absence of genetic and/or legal criteria, the basis on which someone is considered “family” is explored.     

Just Molly and Me,and Donor Makes Three: Lesbian Motherhood in the Age of Assisted Reproductive Technology

SUMMARY

The psychological experiences of lesbian mothers, both coupled and single, are compared and contrasted with heterosexual and gay parents who use assisted reproductive technology, focusing on issues of parental desire, fertility, babies conceived from science rather than sex, presence of an outside party in conception, genetic asymmetry, social anxieties, legal protections, disclosure, and gender. The psychological meaning of the donor or surrogate as an “extra” and “missing” piece of the family, along with the interactive effects of homophobia and “reproductive technophobia” are considered. Lesbian families are recognized to be constructing a new narrative of a bio-social family as they define and live their experience.     

Where to from here? Blue passports,family, career—and Donald Trump

Abstract

In this essay, we offer our stories of family and migration under a Donald Trump presidency. We are a lesbian couple; one of us is a citizen of the United States while the other is a citizen of a Muslim country. We use autoethnographic methods to explore and interrogate our “messy and fabulous” journey of liminality; our journey of belonging and exclusion, where we grapple with issues related to sexuality, family, career, and citizenship. Our “voices” are used both individually and in unison, to highlight our intersectional and relational selves. We intend this work to contribute to the many ways we can better understand and appreciate the bountiful and colorful vistas of lesbian families’ migrant experiences.     

Family violence laws: Traditional narratives and the (in)visibility of lesbian relationships and lesbian-parented families

Abstract

Feminist advocacy and activism over the last 40 years broke historic ground in shining a light on “domestic” or “family” violence, traditionally conceptualized as male violence against female intimate partners and their children. This has resulted in a large body of research, particularly in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, and similar jurisdictions, around the gendered nature of family violence and violence within heterosexual relationships and heterosexual-parented families. As a consequence, the predominant narrative—in political, policy, and advocacy settings—is largely heteronormative. Less research has focused on family violence in non-heterosexual relationships. The data that do exist have employed different methodological approaches and there are limitations on the extent to which they can be compared to the data on violence within heterosexual relationships. However, the existing research does demonstrate that family violence within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex (LGBTI) communities is a significant issue. Even so, the current narrative does not acknowledge this, and predominantly reflects heterosexual norms of intimate relationships and family structures in society. LGBTI relationships are described as “invisible” in policy and practice responses to family violence, due to the failure to acknowledge violence in such communities. This article explores these claims in relation to lesbian relationships in the context of Australian legislative responses to family violence. It considers the extent to which family violence laws in two Australian jurisdictions recognize and frame lesbian identity in intimate relationships and lesbian-parented families. This is considered in light of the emerging conceptualization of family violence in lesbian relationships and lesbian-parented families, as evidenced by the wider scholarly literature on the nature and dynamics of such violence.     

Addressing Wife Abuse in Mexican Immigrant Couples: Challenges for Family Social Workers

SUMMARY

In blended families, the two parents have a unique challenge to develop a united front (“WE”) in the face of “us” and “them” thinking. Without such a united front, the children will naturally manipulate the situation and further divide the blended family. The key to successful step-parenting is the development of a solid “WE” between two parents so that the whole family works together as a unit. Practical suggestions are given for development of this united front so that step-parenting can become a positive experience.     

“Family” Support for Family Violence: Exploring Community Support Systems for Lesbian and Bisexual Women Who Have Experienced Abuse

ABSTRACT

“Family” is a euphemistic term that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people use among ourselves to designate membership in lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities. Ironically, this “family” may be the most sought, yet least successful, support for dealing with the intimate partner violence that occurs within LGBT families. This study of 11 lesbian and bisexual women's experiences seeking support revealed several tiers of unmet needs within the LGBT community. They rarely used services in the general community, although these services are often the focus of both criticism and efforts to build support systems for LGBT victim/survivors. A model presents the different stages and potential sources of support.     

Being a Gay or Lesbian Professional in a Psychiatric Hospital for Adolescents

Abstract

Differing styles and ranges of self-disclosure are highlighted through interviews with lesbian and gay clinical staff at an in-patient setting in the Midwest. Each staff, three men and one woman aged 44 to 62, is presented through a psychosocial history concerning religious, marital, and coming out issues. Participants are interviewed about their style and degree of disclosure of homosexuality to staff, clients, and family. The author concludes that degree of “coming out” correlates with positive adjustment to sexual orientation for the interviewees more than with fears about job loss or personal reprisal.     

Workplace Problems and Needs for Lesbian and Gay Male Employees

Abstract

This article presents research findings pursuant to the problems and needs of lesbian and gay male employees, as perceived from a randomly selected national sample of employee assistance professionals. The research was based on a conceptual model for framing workplace interventions addressing issues of protection, inclusion and equity (PIE) for gay/lesbian employees. Findings indicate that heterosexual employees greatly underestimate the level of discrimination sexual minorities experience; women respondents were more sensitive to gay/ lesbian workplace issues than men; existing EAP and human resource services, programs and policies inadequately address gay/lesbian needs; significant differences exist between heterosexual and gay/lesbian employees' on perceptions of diversity training content and gay/lesbian EAP professionals feel the workplace is only somewhat “safe” for them as sexual minority employees.     

“Women's Work”? Women Partners of Transgender Men Doing Housework and Emotion Work

Despite increasing family studies research on same‐sex cohabiters and families, the literature is virtually devoid of transgender and transsexual families. To bridge this gap, I present qualitative research narratives on household labor and emotion work from 50 women partners of transgender and transsexual men. Contrary to much literature on “same‐sex” couples, the division of household labor and emotion work within these contemporary families cannot simply be described as egalitarian. Further, although the forms of emotion work and “gender strategies,”“family myths,” and “accounts” with which women partners of trans men engage resonate with those from women in (non‐trans) heterosexual and lesbian couples, they are also distinct, highlighting tensions among personal agency, politics, and structural inequalities in family life.     

Russian lesbian mothers: Between “traditional values” and human rights

Abstract

Contemporary Russian state ideology has turned towards instituting “traditional family values,” an official turn that increased legal and social discrimination against queer families. The concept of “traditional family values” in the contemporary Russian state discourse refers to the “naturalness” of the heterosexual family, consisting of two parents and their biological offspring. This discourse eliminates the possibility of public lesbian parenting. Following the idea of the conceptualizations of queer temporalities in different geo-cultural contexts, I examine the impact of recent oppressive legal changes in Russia on reproductive choices, everyday parenting strategies, and social interactions among lesbian mothers. In this work, I seek to show more than the obvious harm caused by the “anti-gay law” in terms of its effects on lesbian-headed families. To do so, I analyze the strategies applied by Russian lesbian mothers to tackle the rapidly changing state ideologies and legislative landscapes. I do this by discussing the ways in which lesbian mothers in Russia “manipulate” their social status to avoid possible official or unofficial homophobic actions directed towards them and their children. For example, they may come out selectively, carefully choosing the people to whom they openly present their identity. I argue that to adhere to “ordinary” or “normal” family life, lesbian mothers in Russia use several survival strategies. One of these strategies relates to speculation about immigration to the “West.” That is, some lesbian families prepare all of the necessary documentation, secure valid visas, and attend special workshops where they receive legal and informational support on asylum seeking and emigration from Russia. Another set of strategies for maintaining family identity relies on the decision to come out as a co-mother during interactions with official institutions or to choose other identities; for example, godmother or sister of the birth mother of a child. An additional important strategy for lesbian mothers relies on drafting documents that maintain their rights in severe circumstances. This set of actions focuses on legally supporting the parental rights through the use of loopholes in the Russian legislation and drafting documents that maintain their rights to child custody and their partner’s property.     

A Missing Voice

Abstract

Contemporary gay and lesbian social service literature still heavily focuses on White middle/upper-class issues and uses an isolated and fixed concept of homosexuality. As a result, the discourse has only a limited applicability to people with “dual” or “multiple” identities, accentuating the power of those who control the discourse and the oppression of those with “dual” or “multiple” identities. Using Asians as a case example, I argue that the lack of published articles about Asians in contemporary gay and lesbian social service literature is the result of the different worldviews of Asian and White queers. However, this deficiency is sustained by social structures that are saturated with White middle/upper-class values. Implications of this situation and some directions for social change are discussed.     

Lesbian Books,Lesbian Book Reviewing

Abstract

The emergence of lesbian book reviewing as a genre has several causes: the boom in lesbian book publishing; the increased visibility of lesbian books in mainstream bookstores; heterosexual readers' current fascination with lesbians and lesbianism; a growth in academic and feminist interest in lesbianism and “queer studies”; a general appetite for the “good” lesbian fiction that has appeared recently; and a new world market for lesbian writing. Responsible lesbian book reviewing should have as its goals to review as many books by lesbian authors as possible, including those not “about” lesbian issues or topics; to review books about lesbianism and lesbian issues, including those written by heterosexuals; to cover the entire range of genres, from serious academic books to popular romances; to seek out and publicize lesbian writers from around the world; to make known smaller lesbian and lesbian-friendly presses; and to present a wide range of responsible reviewer comments on the books reviewed, as the lesbian book market continues to grow, lesbian book reviewing should let readers know what's available, create dialogue about the ideas presented in lesbian books, establish ethical stances, support lesbian publishing, become a responsible member of the “lesbian community,” and create a wider space for lesbian writing in the world of readers.     

More than Surface Tension: Femmes in Families

SUMMARY

This article raises questions about the lack of scholarly focus on butch/femme couples and their absence in studies of lesbian couples and family-building. In an era of lesbian marriage and lesbian parenting, femme and butch coupling and family-building remain unspoken topics within family studies, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT)–specific research. Moving beyond a focus on eroticism within the femme/butch couple, questions about how gender expression impacts other relationships dynamics, including the maintenance of long-term relationships, power and intimacy, domestic chores and child-rearing, are raised. The femme role in “homemaking,” that is, building and maintaining families, especially needs further exploration.     

Becoming Lesbian Adoptive Parents

ABSTRACT

Legal, public policy, and social biases make the process of becoming a family difficult for lesbian and gay parents. Currently Massachusetts prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation against individuals who apply to become adoptive parents, and allows second parent adoptions enabling adults to adopt a partner's child. We surveyed lesbian adoptive parents, heterosexual adoptive parents, and lesbian parents who used assisted fertilization to determine if the adoption process is similar for lesbian and heterosexual couples, and if lesbian adoptive parents are similar to lesbian parents who use assisted fertilization. The adoption process was similar for both lesbian and heterosexual parents, but lesbian adoptive parents perceived more discrimination and were more inclined to omit information during the home study. Lesbian biological parents found conception, pregnancy and birth “easy.”     

Family Social Work: The Past and the Present

SUMMARY

It is easy to blame the dysfunction of a family member on his or her behavioral patterns. I use the title, “It's the Relationship, Stupid!” not to talk down to family therapists, but to remind myself that the source of dysfunction is usually family relationships, especially the marriage relationship. This article gives several case studies for practical application of therapy techniques that focus on developing the “WE” of the family unit. One practical technique that I developed is a communication typology. The married couple (and family members) are divided into “Painters” and “Pointers.” This typology explains much of the conflict and mis-communication that leads to the breakdown of the “WE.” This article also presents dysfunction within the individual as a relationship problem and introduces the concept of the “spirit” of the individual as expressing the relationship the person has with self.     

Building a Translengua in Latina Lesbian Organizing

ABSTRACT

This article discusses the challenges and rewards, as well as the affective labor, involved in forging a Latina lesbian “translengua,” in other words a common language in the context of Latina lesbian organizing. I explore how members of Latina Lesbians en Nuestro Ambiente (LLENA) and Amigas Latinas, Chicago-based Latina lesbian organizations, attempted to foster consensus for collective action in the face of language differences and preferences. Through analysis of archives and interviews with activists, I untangle how LLENA and Amigas Latinas negotiated deeply personal and sensitive issues around language use as they worked to build an inclusive movement. I also identify strategies used to enact a translengua that could bridge linguistic differences within the Latina lesbian community.     

Genograms Redrawn

Abstract

One of the challenges faced by GLBT families is defining and representing family relationships in a way that is not constrained by heterosexist notions of family. This study explores the usefulness of asking lesbian couples to depict family relationships by adapting the genogram (family tree) techniques used in family therapy. Six lesbian couples were asked to construct their own family tree and to comment on the process. Genograms were found to be useful but needed to be redrawn, for example, with tiers and circles rather than traditional symbols. Drawing and redrawing genograms highlighted the importance of acceptance and affirmation versus homophobia and heterosexism in defining family relationships for the lesbian couples interviewed.     

Men Not Included?

SUMMARY

This paper explores debates about male presence and influence in lesbian families from a critical psychology standpoint. Critical psychology encompasses a variety of radical approaches to psychological research that reject traditional psychological assumptions, concepts and methods and that seek to challenge and resist normative values. To explore aspects of the discursive terrain of male influence and to demonstrate the merits of a critical psychology of lesbian families, excerpts from an interview with a lesbian couple who are members of a planned lesbian/gay family (two mummies and a daddy) are analysed. These excerpts show that debates about male influence create live dilemmas and tensions for the lesbian couple and have important consequences for how lesbian parents negotiate and do family.     

Vital Lines Drawn From Books: Difficult Feelings in Alison Bechdel's Fun Home and Are You My Mother?

This article examines the representation of a transnational archive of queer books in Alison Bechdel's graphic memoirs Fun Home and Are You My Mother? for the insights it provides into the role of reading in making sense of the often difficult “felt experiences” of lesbian life. In both memoirs, books serve an important narrative function in the portrayal of Alison's lesbian identification and its complex emotional entanglements with the lives of parents who are trapped—killed even, in the case of the father—in the wastelands of patriarchy and heterosexual expectation. The article argues that in this complex family dynamic in which “sexual identity” itself is a problem and emotions remain largely unspoken, books act as fragile conduits of feelings, shaping familial relationships even as they allow Alison to contextualize her life in relation to historical events and social norms. Reading books allows her to understand the apparently U.S.-specific history of her family in relation to a wider queer history in the West.     

Growing Up in a “WE” Family

SUMMARY

When couples choose to parent as a unit (the couple as WE) rather than as autonomous individuals, they and their children both benefit. The current article details some ways that parents can further expand their “couple as WE” into a “family as WE” with active parents and socially perceptive children. The article also discusses ways that family members can start and maintain a family dialogue.