Justifications for extramarital relationships: The association between attitudes,behaviors, and gender

Married persons completed anonymous questionnaires rating the extent to which they would feel justified having an extramarital relationship for 17 reasons derived from the clinical and research literatures. Men and women clustered these justifications similarly into four factors: sexual, romantic love, emotional intimacy, and extrinsic. Women approved less of sexual justifications and more of love justifications. Attitude‐behavior congruence was demonstrated in the link between sexual justification and sexual involvement for both sexes and in the link between love justifications and emotional involvement for men. The data supported the observation that men separate sex and love; women appear to believe that love and sex go together and that falling in love justifies sexual involvement. Clinical implications include the importance of understanding the extramarital attitudes as cognitions and thresholds related to extramarital behavior. Research implications include the importance of assessing specific reasons including emotional justifications, assessing emotional involvement and sexual involvement, and analyzing for gender differences.     

Effects of Sex,Sexual Orientation,Infidelity Expectations,and Love on Distress related to Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

The purpose of this study was to investigate the influence of participant sex, sexual orientation, infidelity expectations, and love on emotional responses to emotional and sexual infidelity. Participants (72 lesbian women, 114 heterosexual women, 53 gay men, and 57 heterosexual men) completed a demographic form, continuous emotion ratings in response to hypothetical infidelity scenarios, the Infidelity Expectations Questionnaire (IEQ), and the Triangular Love Scale. Sex, sexual orientation, and commitment and intimacy among partners were significant predictors of various emotional responses to sexual and emotional infidelity. Alternatively, passion among partners and expectations about a partner's likelihood of committing infidelity were not significant predictors of emotional reactions to infidelity. Across participants, sexual infidelity elicited more distressing feelings than emotional infidelity. Group differences were also found, with women responding with stronger emotions to emotional and sexual infidelity than men, and heterosexuals rating emotional and sexual infidelity as more emotionally distressing than lesbian and gay individuals. Sex and sexual orientation differences emerged regarding the degree to which specific emotions were reported in response to sexual and emotional infidelity. Clinical implications are offered, including how mental health professionals might use these findings to help clients cope with the negative effects of infidelity on romantic relationships.     

Swinging: A replication and test of a theory

Traditional sex‐role stereotypes suggest that men and women engage in sex for different reasons. Previous studies have supported the notion that women are more motivated by emotional expression in having sex, and men are more concerned with physical gratification. In a survey of sexual behavior, heterosexual and homosexual respondents were asked to rate the importance of a variety of reasons for having sex and not having sex. The results showed that men and women differed in the importance attached to emotional and physical motives, with gender differences appearing in both heterosexuals and homosexuals. Certain practical motives (e.g., to reproduce, fear of AIDS, fear of pregnancy) differentiated between homosexuals and heterosexuals. Motivations predicting frequency of sexual behavior in the last month depended on the relationship status of the respondent. These findings, although suggesting that gender differences in motivations for sex persist in all kinds of relationships, point to many similarities among gay and straight men and women in reasons for having sex and limiting sexual activity.     

Betrayals in Emerging Adulthood: A Developmental Perspective of Infidelity

Infidelity is associated with considerable distress and discord in dating relationships. The current mixed methods study examined both the written narratives and survey responses of 104 (59.6% women) emerging adults to investigate reasons for engaging in infidelity (i.e., sexual and emotional infidelity). Emerging adults’ reasons for engaging in infidelity were attributed primarily to their primary relationships and/or their romantic partners not fulfilling their needs for interdependence and thus feeling motivated to fulfill these needs elsewhere. Although the majority of participants provided independence and/or interdependence reasons for their infidelity, a large proportion of responses (40%) referenced alternative reasons. These responses included (a) the opportunity to become intimate with an infidelity partner while under the influence of alcohol, (b) attraction to an infidelity partner, and (c) the excitement and novelty that the infidelity experience provided. Those who reported engaging in infidelity because of unmet interdependence needs, and intimacy needs in particular, were more avoidantly attached than those who did not reference unmet interdependence needs. Those who reported engaging in infidelity because of unmet independence needs were more anxiously attached than those who did not reference unmet independence needs. Implications for the developmental importance of infidelity in terms of research and applied work are discussed.     

From Taboo to Tourist Industry: The Construction of Interracial Intimacies between Black Men and White Women in Colonial and Contemporary Times

This literature review examines the role emotions play in the construction and regulation of commercialized heterosexual interracial intimacies between White women and Black men, beginning with the strict regulations of the colonial era, and moving to the development of “romance tourism” in the contemporary era between Northern White women and Black men in the Caribbean. During colonialism, White men constructed a taboo against sexual relationships between White women and Black men in order to ensure their dominance over women in their own racial group and all “Other” men. In contemporary times, relationships between White women and Black men have moved from taboo and marginalized to touristic attraction, as more middle class White women from the United States head to the Caribbean (and at times Africa) in search of romance with local men, demonstrating the importance that emotions like desire have in (re)producing globalization.     

Wanting to Be Seen: Young People’s Experiences of Performative Making Out

People engage in sexual behavior for many reasons, some of which require an audience (e.g., arousing onlookers, making someone jealous). In this study, we investigated the prevalence, motivations, and outcomes of young people’s experiences with performative making out—making out with someone and wanting others to see. Of the 155 female and 194 male college students who completed the online questionnaire, 32% of the women and 37% of the men reported having done this, often before entering college. Significantly more women than men reported same-sex performative experiences. We used thematic analysis to identify themes in the qualitative data. Participants’ motivations included enhancing their image, causing jealousy or envy, demonstrating a relationship, sexually arousing men, and participating in fun and games. Men reported that their reputations were enhanced more often than damaged; women reported the opposite pattern. These results provide insights into the functions of sexual behavior as a means of communication and highlight gender differences consistent with problematic cultural belief systems such as “slut shaming,” victim blaming, and sexual double standards.     

Monogamy,the Protective Fallacy: Sexual versus Emotional Exclusivity and the Implication for Sexual Health Risk

The authors examined the hypothesis that many individuals define monogamy based on emotional rather than sexual fidelity. Participants, 373 heterosexual college students and 282 gay men, read three vignettes of decreasing mitigation in which they imagined committing an act of infidelity against a hypothetical partner and where half the participants were cued to their emotional attachment toward the partner. Despite the infidelity, relationships in the emotional attachment–cued vignettes were rated as monogamous to a greater degree than relationships in the vignettes where emotional attachment was not cued. In addition, over one-third of the participants in our study reported infidelity in their current self-defined monogamous relationships yet also reported feeling more protected from sexual health risks and reported less condom use than individuals who defined their relationship as nonmonogamous. The implications for monogamy as a protective fallacy are discussed.     

Emotional awareness and couples' relationship satisfaction

This study examined the role of emotional awareness in couples' relationships and the effects of a tendency to respond to difficult couples' situations with "soft" emotions (including sadness and fear) versus "hard" emotions (including anger and resentment). Participants were 56 heterosexual couples who completed a measure of relationship satisfaction and two measures of emotional awareness, including one that was developed as part of this study. Results indicated that women were more emotionally aware than men in response to couples' situations, but not in response to general situations outside the relationship. In addition, higher levels of emotional awareness and a higher awareness of "hard" emotions were associated with decreased relationship satisfaction for women, but not for men. Discrepancy between partners' levels of awareness was related to lower satisfaction for both men and women.     

An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs

The discovery or disclosure of an extramarital affair can have a devastating impact on partners, both individually and on the relationships. Research suggests that affairs occur relatively frequently in relationships and are a common presenting problem in couple therapy. However, despite their prevalence, there is little empirical treatment research in this area, and most therapists describe this problem as one of the more difficult to treat. In this study, we used a replicated case-study design to explore the efficacy of an integrative treatment designed to help couples recover from an affair. Six couples entered and completed treatment. The majority of these couples were less emotionally or maritally distressed at the end of treatment, and the injured partners reported greater forgiveness regarding the affair. Details of the intervention, suggested adaptations of the treatment, and areas for future research are discussed.     

What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexual Communication,Mood Setting,Sexual Variety,Oral Sex,Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study

Passion and sexual satisfaction typically diminish in longer-term relationships, but this decline is not inevitable. We identified the attitudes and behaviors that most strongly differentiated sexually satisfied from dissatisfied men and women who had been together for at least three years (N = 38,747). Data were collected in 2006 from cohabiting and married men (M) and women (W) via an online survey on a major national U.S. news Web site. The vast majority of these participants reported being satisfied with their sex lives during their first six months together (83% W; 83% M). Satisfaction with their current sex lives was more variable, with approximately half of participants reporting overall satisfaction (55% W; 43% M) and the rest feeling neutral (18% W; 16% M) or dissatisfied (27% W; 41% M). More than one in three respondents (38% W; 32% M) claimed their sex lives were as passionate now as in the beginning. Sexual satisfaction and maintenance of passion were higher among people who had sex most frequently, received more oral sex, had more consistent orgasms, and incorporated more variety of sexual acts, mood setting, and sexual communication. We discuss implications of these findings for research and for helping people revitalize their sex lives.     

‘The first Taiwanese wives’ and ‘the Chinese mistresses’: the international division of labour in familial and intimate relations across the Taiwan Strait

Abstract For the last two decades, Taiwanese businessmen have gone to China to invest and do business there. While in Taiwan, many have become involved in extramarital affairs with local women, creating an international division of labour in both families and intimate relations. Taiwanese wives are categorized as ‘the first wives’, a term that is largely associated with the conventional duties of a housewife as the primary caregiver for the family. Chinese women are categorized as ‘mistresses’, a label that portrays them as intruders into these Taiwanese families and stigmatizes them with the strong sexual and entertainment implications of their relationships with these men. By using an ethnographic and documentary approach to explore the complex relations among Taiwanese businessmen and their wives and mistresses across the Taiwan Strait, this article reveals an often overlooked connection between the global economy and the challenges it imposes on the international division of labour in the family and on transnational feminism.     

Cattle for Wives and Extramarital Trysts for Husbands? Lobola, Men, and HIV/STD Risk Behavior in Southern Africa

Lobola is in many Southern African countries a tradition, which is expected to be adhered by anyone who is part or want to be part of the community. It is about paying respect to the elders, the family and the community. It is a significant element of marriage among many tribes and there are strict rules to adhere. In order to determine how much the actual fact of payment of lobola would influence the behavior of husbands and wives, we conducted several focus group discussion with men, women, mixed groups and couples. We analyzed the data collected during these sessions and compared these with the literature. Many participants see lobola as part of their African culture, although they wished that they would not actually have to pay lobola. We could not determine a difference in the husband's behavior, whether they had paid lobola or not and having extramarital affairs.     

Risky Sexual Behaviors and Pregnancy Outcomes in Young Adulthood Following Substantiated Childhood Maltreatment: Findings From a Prospective Birth Cohort Study

Childhood maltreatment is associated with a range of adverse mental and physical health outcomes, including increased rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) later in life. However, the impact on risky sexual behaviors and pregnancy outcomes has not been adequately studied. This is particularly true for physical abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect. We examined associations between prospectively substantiated childhood maltreatment and reports of risky sexual behaviors by men and women, as well as selected pregnancy outcomes in women. We followed up 3,081 (45.7% female) participants from the Mater-University of Queensland Study of Pregnancy, a prospective Australian birth cohort study. Using logistic regression, we examined the association between substantiated childhood maltreatment from birth to 14 years, and self-reported risky sexual behaviors and youth pregnancy outcomes at the 21-year follow-up. In adjusted analyses, children who had experienced multiple childhood maltreatment exhibited more risky sexual behaviors than their nonmaltreated counterparts. In specific models, those exposed to each form of childhood maltreatment, independent of co-occurring forms of childhood maltreatment, had an increased likelihood of risky sexual behaviors, particularly an early sexual debut and, for women, youth pregnancy. Neglect was also associated with multiple sexual partners, and emotional abuse with higher rates of miscarriage. There was no difference between men and women in how different forms of childhood maltreatment predicted risky sexual behaviors in young adulthood. All forms of substantiated childhood maltreatment, including multiple substantiations, were associated with risky sexual behavior in both sexes as well as higher rates of youth pregnancy in women. Moreover, emotional abuse persistently predicted miscarriages in young adult women. Understanding the association between childhood maltreatment and risky sexual behaviors and youth pregnancy outcomes may help suggest preventive strategies.     

Gendered Identities in the Work of Overseas Tour Reps

Gender construction within the tourism and leisure industry is under‐researched. In this article, we draw on empirical research on overseas tour reps to consider the ways in which men and women working alongside each other in the same feminized role ‘do gender’. In particular we explore how these workers deal with the particular dilemmas of the sexualization of women at work and the men reps’ potential threat to their heterosexuality, in a role where the boundaries between work and play are ambiguous. We argue that reps reveal masculinities and femininities that comply with traditional expectations. Young men reps are portrayed in ‘laddish’ terms in relation to their engagement with alcohol and sexual relationships with guests. Women reps emphasize their role as providers of emotional labour and taking control of guests’ perceptions and report refraining from sexual relationships with guests. Even within the same work role in this case study, men and women appear to construct different work identities.     

TOO MANY MEN? SEX RATIOS AND WOMEN'S PARTNERING BEHAVIOR IN CHINA

The relative numbers of women and men are changing dramatically in China, but the consequences of these imbalanced sex ratios have received little attention. We merge data from the Chinese Health and Family Life Survey with community-level data from Chinese censuses to examine the relationship between cohort- and community-specific sex ratios and women's partnering behavior. Consistent with demographic-opportunity theory and sociocultural theory, we find that high sex ratios (indicating more men relative to women) are associated with an increased likelihood that women marry before age 25. However, high sex ratios are also associated with an increased likelihood that women engage in premarital and extramarital sexual relationships and have had more than one sexual partner, findings consistent with demographic-opportunity theory but inconsistent with sociocultural theory.     

More Than Just Sex

Abstract

The purpose of this research was to identify behaviors in addition to those of an explicitly sexual or romantic nature that men and women define as unfaithful acts in the context of committed dating relationships. We also sought to identify possible gender differences in the proportions of men and women who have engaged in these unfaithful behaviors while in dating relationships. We examined 219 college men's and women's reported involvement in sexual behaviors, romantic attachments, sexual and nonsexual fantasies, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, flirting, and social participation in dyads and groups with someone other than their current or past dating partner. A sizable proportion of both men and women reported engaging in one or more of the behaviors at some point in their dating history. Proportionately more men than women indicated having engaged in sexual fantasies of various types about someone other than their primary partner and reported “hitting on” someone else while in a dating relationship. No other gender differences emerged. A unique aspect of this study is that we asked young men and women to determine what kinds of behaviors they considered to be unfaithful rather than only examining sexual and emotional behaviors as has been the case in past research. Further, the few significant gender differences we found indicates that the convergence of men's and women's attitudes about sexuality may now be show in their behavior.     

Psychiatric Symptoms and Same-Sex Sexual Attraction and Behavior in Light of Childhood Gender Atypical Behavior and Parental Relationships

This study explores the relation between the level of current symptoms of depression and anxiety and recalled childhood gender atypical behavior (GAB), and quality of relationships with parents among men and women who reported same-sex sexual attraction or engaged in same-sex sexual behavior and men and women who did not. Matched pairs, 79 men (n = 158) and 148 women (n = 296), with equal levels of GAB were created of Finnish participants with either same-sex sexual attraction or behavior and participants without. The measures used were retrospective questionnaires. Ratings of maternal and paternal over-control and coldness differed as a function of same-sex sexual attraction or behavior. Childhood GAB was correlated with negative ratings of parental relationships. Both same-sex sexual attraction or behavior and a history of childhood GAB affected the reported levels of current depression and anxiety. Only gender typical participants with no same-sex sexual attraction or behavior reported significantly lower levels of symptoms. The findings suggest that childhood GAB is related to later distress both among hetero- and homosexual individuals. The elevated level of psychological distress among homosexual individuals, reported in several studies, might—to some extent—be caused by their generally higher levels of childhood GAB as opposed to a homosexual orientation per se.     

Beliefs About Others’ Perceptions—Gender Typicality: Scale Development and Relationships to Gender Nonconformity,Sexual Orientation,and Well-Being

The purpose of this study was to develop a measure of “other-perceived” gender typicality and test its relationship with gender nonconformity, sexual orientation, and psychological distress. Data on these variables were collected from 632 participants (142 heterosexual men, 77 gay men, 50 bisexual men, 174 heterosexual women, 85 lesbian women, and 104 bisexual women). We designed a Beliefs About Others’ Perceptions—Gender Typicality (BOP-GT) scale on which participants reported how masculine or feminine they thought other people perceived their gendered behavior, interests, appearance, and activities. Factor analysis identified five factors: appearance, emotional response, sporting interests, occupational interests, and interpersonal style. Recalled childhood gender nonconformity (CGN) was significantly associated with each BOP-GT subscale. Heterosexual men rated that other people perceived them to be more masculine scoring on the BOP-GT compared to heterosexual women. Gay men and lesbian women showed cross-sexed patterns on the BOP-GT total scale, appearance, emotional response, and sporting interests scores. Bisexual men and women were generally no different from the other male and female groups, respectively. Bisexual women had greater distress scores, and the BOP-GT emotional response subscale was associated with somewhat greater distress scores. The BOP-GT measure may have use in future research on understanding gendered self-concepts.     

A Swiss Longitudinal Study of the Prevalence of,and Overlap Between,Sexual Problems in Men and Women Aged 20 to 50 Years Old

The aim of this study was to obtain data on the development and course of sexual problems and their interrelationships by investigating a representative sample of men and women over a period of 30 years. A representative sample of 299 women selected from the complete electoral register and 292 men selected from screening lists for military service in Zurich, Switzerland, answered questions about their sexuality as part of a series of seven interviews between ages 20 (1979) and 50 (2008). Of the initial sample of 591 participants, 43% (57% of them male) were lost to follow-up. Interviews were conducted using the Structured Psychopathological Interview and Rating of the Social Consequences of Psychological Disturbances for Epidemiology (SPIKE), a semistructured interview. Sexual problems were identified on the basis of the study participants’ self-appraisal. One-year prevalence rates, lifetime risks, and overlap of functional, emotional, and sexual desire problems in men and women were evaluated. The findings confirmed higher lifetime risks in women than in men for any sexual problem (females 67.0%; males 46.0%) and for functional (39.3%; 22.1%), emotional (35.7%; 15.9%), and sexual desire problems (51.6%; 33.3%). While in general men's sexual problems increased with age, no such association was observed in women. The overlap of all three problems (functional, emotional, and sexual desire) was reported by 16.9% of women but only 5.0% of men. Although there are commonalities, the type but also the development and, in particular, the overlap of sexual problems in women and men are markedly different.