IS LOVE BLIND? THE EFFECTS OF EXPERIENCE AND INFATUATION ON THE PERCEPTION OF LOVE

We hypothesized that participants in love and more experienced in romantic love (e.g., schematics) would perceive love more accurately than those who were not in love and less experienced. Judges viewed and rated a series of 25 thin-slice video clips of couples for whom their love for another was known via Sternbergs (Psychological Review, 93, 119–135) love scale. Individual differences in love judgment accuracy were large. Not surprisingly, participants who were in love at the time of the study and who reported having had a lengthy romantic relationship were more confident in their love judgment accuracy but, in fact, were less accurate. Apparently the love schemas people develop subjectively may not adequately represent the way in which the construct manifests among the population in general. Although love judgments may come easier to those in love, their perceptions of the love around them may be biased and inaccurate.     

Discourses on Non-conforming Marriages: Love in Taiwan

In contemporary Taiwan, arranged marriage seems a remote legend. However, the mainstream ideology of romantic love and marriage is a recent phenomenon that started only half a century ago. The debate on love and marriage that took place a hundred years ago has been reopened in current Taiwanese society on transnational marriage and same-sex marriage debates, which are regarded as non-conforming marriages in a specific historical period. We argue that the hegemonic ideology of romantic love has produced a powerful exclusionary effect on cross-border marriages based on ethnic and class discrimination, but also an inclusive effect on same-sex marriage in present Taiwan society, which underscores the power of the discourse of love in modern Taiwanese social life. The love discourse can be progressive in a specific historical conjuncture, but it can also be regressive by excluding other forms of intimacy.     

Decline of Real Love and Rise of Virtual Love: Love in Asia

In Japan, marriage rates have declined since 1980, and interest in romantic relationships has declined in the 21st century. This article shows, mainly based on the official statistics and surveys, that (i) people in contemporary Japanese society have become less willing to get married or even date; (ii) various forms of virtual love have emerged; and (iii) they have spread in East Asian countries in general. Marriage stems from romantic relationships. Simultaneously, it brings with it new economic life. In Japan and other East Asian countries there is an unwritten norm that marriage should be part of economic life. Therefore, satisfying romantic emotions outside real love and marriage is accepted.     

Love Without Borders?

Since 2000, Denmark has imposed some of the strictest immigration laws in Europe. Consequently, family reunification has become increasingly difficult for immigrants as well as for Danish citizens. In the fall of 2010, the Danish family reunification laws became subject to criticism and protest by a citizens' initiative called ‘Love without Borders’ (LWB). The article investigates how LWB managed to generate political momentum around love: an affect which seems to promise inclusion, liberation and togetherness for those directly affected by the laws as well as those attempting to change the laws. Yet the idealized version of love promoted by LWB happened to take the form of romantic intimacy predominantly consisting of straight, young and white-brown couples oriented towards reproduction. Our main argument is that despite its good intentions of supporting migration the activist campaign ‘Love without Borders’ ends up supporting whiteness as the body through which love must flow. As an indicator of the racialized discourses informing LWB's activism the article introduces the concept of white transraciality. Thus, to LWB love seems to promise affective ties to the nation, to the future and to the political system in ways that sustain white hegemony. Building mainly on Sara Ahmed's and Laurent Berlant's reflections on love as cultural politics the article analyzes posters, viral videos and newspaper debates in its discussion of the promises and pitfalls of love as an affective political tool.     

Justifications for extramarital relationships: The association between attitudes,behaviors, and gender

Married persons completed anonymous questionnaires rating the extent to which they would feel justified having an extramarital relationship for 17 reasons derived from the clinical and research literatures. Men and women clustered these justifications similarly into four factors: sexual, romantic love, emotional intimacy, and extrinsic. Women approved less of sexual justifications and more of love justifications. Attitude‐behavior congruence was demonstrated in the link between sexual justification and sexual involvement for both sexes and in the link between love justifications and emotional involvement for men. The data supported the observation that men separate sex and love; women appear to believe that love and sex go together and that falling in love justifies sexual involvement. Clinical implications include the importance of understanding the extramarital attitudes as cognitions and thresholds related to extramarital behavior. Research implications include the importance of assessing specific reasons including emotional justifications, assessing emotional involvement and sexual involvement, and analyzing for gender differences.     

People Will Know We Are in Love: Evidence of Differences Between Vocal Samples Directed Toward Lovers and Friends

Research has documented the tendency for individuals to change their voices as a function of different emotional and motivational states, but little attention has been devoted to examining voice modulation in romantic relationships. The present research was conducted to determine (1) the way in which individuals alter their voices when speaking to romantic partners versus friends and (2) if independent raters perceive these differences. Independent raters (N = 80) listened to vocal clips obtained from telephone calls directed toward close same-sex friends and romantic partners. For several clips, raters were able to identify conversational partner (romantic versus friend) with greater than chance accuracy, and this accuracy was positively correlated with vocal pitch and perceived romantic interest. In addition, raters who listened to content-filtered clips judged callers less favorably when talking to their romantic partners than their friends. Results are interpreted in light of the “longing” but vulnerable condition of intense romantic love, and integrated into affection exchange theory and communication accommodation theory.     

Does Movie Viewing Cultivate Young People's Unrealistic Expectations About Love and Marriage?

The current study examines the association between consumption of media messages by way of movie viewing and genre preference and endorsement of ideals and expectations concerning romantic relationships. A survey of young adults found that viewing preference for both romantic comedies and dramas was significantly and positively correlated with idealized notions of faith that love conquers all, greater expectations for intimacy, and endorsement of the eros love style. However, participants who frequently watched romantic movies did not endorse beliefs in sexual perfection, mindreading, or disagreement disallowance. Results suggest that more mythic romantic ideals may tend to supersede other relational demands.     

‘Some people are not allowed to love’: intimate citizenship in the lives of people labelled with intellectual disabilities

Disability helps us think differently about the ‘ideal’ neoliberal-able citizen who may not equate to ideas of productive, sexual, ‘normal’. Intimate citizenship – our rights and access to intimacy – is often ignored by those working with people labelled with intellectual disabilities and in research. In this article, we discuss the outcome of a dialogue between self-advocates labelled with intellectual disabilities, academics, service providers, Aboriginal leaders, students and artists about intimate citizenship through love, intimate work and consumption.     

Intimacy and the Relational Self

This paper is a review of current ideas about intimacy and some ideas of my own about definitions of intimacy which come from a desire for respectful, egalitarian, lively and challenging relationships. I suspect that many current ideas about intimacy are overly influenced by the culture of romantic love, in which intimacy is portrayed as the warm, all encompassing feelings of unconditional love, where never a cross word is said. For me, intimacy includes all those feelings of closeness and warmth, but also those moments of brutal honesty, extreme anger, standing up for oneself and saying no. The myth that intimacy is easily obtained, and always pleasant, will be challenged in this paper.     

Associations Between Marital Meaning and Reasons to Delay Marriage for Young Adults in Romantic Relationships

Using symbolic interactionism we developed an open-ended question to examine marital meaning for young adults (N = 111). Themes to emerge were love and commitment. Participants were placed into clusters: contractual (low love, high commitment), optimistic-realistic (high love, high commitment), romanticizing (high love, low commitment), and casual (low love, low commitment). We examined marital meaning and associations with reasons to delay marriage, conceptualized as relational doubts and financial concerns. Optimistic-realistic and casual individuals reported fewer relational doubts than contractual individuals. Longer relationship length was associated with fewer financial concerns for optimistic-realistic individuals when compared with all others. We conclude that although love and commitment are central to marital meaning, for some, specific pairings of these themes have implications in understanding reasons young adults delay marrying.     

Matching in Sexual Experience for Married,Cohabitating, and Dating Couples

This study examined heterosexual romantic partners' number of intercourse partners prior to the initiation of their relationship to determine if a significant positive correlation (matching) occurred between partners, and if this matching was associated with their level of love and satisfaction with and commitment to the relationship. One hundred and six couples who were dating, cohabitating, or married participated in this study. Results indicated that, with the exception of cohabitating couples, romantic partners showed a significant level of matching in the prior number of intercourse partners. Further, among the married couples, a higher discrepancy between men's and women's number of previous intercourse partners was related to lower levels of love, satisfaction, and commitment in the relationship.     

Reflexive habits: dating and rationalized conduct in New York and Berlin

This paper builds on the work of Norbert Elias to examine how conduct varies across cultural contexts. We compare courtship practices in New York and Berlin and ask how people act during the course of ‘getting together’ with a sexual or romantic partner. Drawing on interviews in both contexts, we find that conduct associated with the practice of ‘dating’ among New York respondents is more rationalized as indicated by a greater awareness of timing, a greater degree of intentionality and planning and a greater tendency to psychologize self and others. Berlin respondents report observations of themselves and others in less detail and tend to describe themselves as passive objects of the impersonal forces of love. Whereas conduct associated with dating is more reflexive in some ways, these forms of reflexive conduct are not themselves fully conscious or the object of reflection but have in turn become taken for granted and habitual. These findings challenge us to conceptualize habitus in a manner that does not reproduce the opposition between habit and reflexivity but allows us to use the concept as a tool to capture variations in how self‐monitoring and habit are combined in modes of conduct.     

Perceptions of Divorce,Closeness, Marital Attitudes,Romantic Beliefs,and Religiosity Among Emergent Adults From Divorced and Nondivorced Families

This article analyzes 401 college students’ perceptions of love, romance, parent–child closeness, and religiosity. Results revealed that college students from divorced homes were not as close with their parents and reported decreased religiosity compared to participants from nondivorced homes, and that these factors are associated with young adults’ views and expectations on romantic relationships. The work presented here provides implications for future studies in understanding the beliefs about and effects of divorce for adult children. Further, results from this study suggest that college students have different expectations regarding love, romance, and marriage based on a number of family relation factors. Implications and suggestions for future research are discussed.     

THINKING ABOUT ROMANTIC/EROTIC LOVE

The implications for therapy of the salient characteristics of romantic/erotic love are discussed.
1. We do not have control over our feelings of romatic/erotic love.
2. These feelings occur relatively infrequently during most people's lives.
3. Being with a partner whom one loves is valued and regarded as a good; it sometimes conflicts with other values and goods. There are no clear criteria for resolving this conflict.
4. Love is regarded as one esential basis for marriage.
5. In addition to romantic/erotic love, other qualities and capacities are improtant in sustaining a long-term relationship such as a marriage.     

Nonverbal Reactions to an Attractive Stranger: The Role of Mimicry in Communicating Preferred Social Distance

The present study was conducted to determine the extent to which different nonverbal behaviors were associated with romantic interest in a highly attractive confederate and whether these behaviors differed as a function of relationship status and self-reported love for one’s partner. Mimicry was positively associated with romantic interest in the confederate, and consistent with the devaluation hypothesis, mimicry was negatively associated with self-reported love for one’s partner, suggesting that mimicry functions to signal preferred social distance. In addition, smiling and vocal pleasantness emerged as important affiliative nonverbal behaviors. The present results suggest that mimicry acts as a relationship-maintenance mechanism, one that is expressed automatically, unintentionally, and nonconsciously. Implications for the role of nonconscious mimicry in romantic attraction and relationship-maintenance processes are discussed.     

Measuring Romantic Love: Psychometric Properties of the Infatuation and Attachment Scales

Romantic love is ubiquitous and has major influences on people's lives. Because romantic love consists of infatuation and attachment, researchers need to be able to differentiate between these constructs when examining the behavioral, affective, cognitive, and physiological correlates of this intriguing phenomenon. Existing love questionnaires appear less suitable for measuring the two-dimensional construct of romantic love. We present here the new 20-item Infatuation and Attachment Scales (IAS) questionnaire. In Study 1, exploratory factor analyses in a Dutch-speaking sample (n = 162) revealed a clear-cut two-factor structure, with 10 infatuation and 10 attachment items loading on separate components. This two-factor structure was confirmed in a new Dutch-speaking sample (n = 214, Study 2), and in an English-speaking sample (n = 183, Study 3). In all studies, it was additionally shown that both scales possessed good convergent and discriminant validity, as well as excellent internal consistency and test-retest reliability. We argue that the IAS is a widely applicable, psychometrically sound instrument that will be useful in future research exploring the effects of infatuation and attachment on behavior, emotion, cognition, peripheral physiology, and brain functioning.     

SEXUAL ATTARACTION AND ROMANTIC LOVE: FORGOTTEN VARIABLES IN MARITAL THERAPY*

The purpose of this paper is to address the lack of attention in the mariage therapy literature ot romantic love and sexual attraction. Although mot coupples marry because of romantic love and tent to divorce when they “fall out of love,” few guidelines are available to therapists concerning how to deal with love as an issue in therapy. In contrast to models of marriage therapy which focus on rational skill devlopment, the model presented here is based on the assumption that marriage problems are emotional in nature and that the success of marital theapists is dependent upon skill in addressing emotional states. Based on recent findings in neurobioloy, this model contends that the affective dimension of love is precognitive and similar to the attchment between infant and parnent. By providing nonverbal and precognitive experience whithin therapy that can alter the emotional pattern of couples, therapists can increase the likelihood of a successful outcome.     

The curious absence of love stories in women's talk

Sociological debate has dealt with love in a number of different ways. For some, love offers a unique opportunity; it is a path to salvation (Jackson, 1993; Langford, 1999). Others, however, take a more sceptical approach to love in modern society: for Beck and Beck‐Gernsheim (1995) love represents the path to extreme individualization, for Illouz (1997) it is ultimately underpinned by consumerism, and perhaps most extreme, for Bauman (2003) love has been destroyed. Giddens offers a slightly different (and more hopeful) perspective and suggests that with growing choice and freedom, love has become ‘confluent’ and temporary subject to individuals' needs (Giddens, 1992). When adult women were asked about love and how they have experienced love in their own lives, however, few of these themes emerged. Instead many women found it difficult to talk about their feelings generally and love in particular. There was an absence of falling in love stories and rather, women explained that they ‘drifted’ into relationships, or they ‘just happened’. The discourses and languages that these women used to explain love and their relationships will be explored in this paper. Love was simultaneously loudly absent and quietly present.     

Healthy Bodies Versus Diseased Bodies: Romance as a Trope of Social Order in Kenyan HIV/AIDS Fiction

Abstract

This paper looks at how romantic discourses have been appropriated and employed as avenues for imagining and suggesting a particular kind of social order in the context of HIV/AIDS in Kenya. Most romance stories can be seen as dealing with emotions but in the texts discussed here, the writers' main focus is on the bodies of the characters. It is those people who carry healthy bodies who eventually succeed in their romantic pursuits while the ill experience failed romance. Individuals who are HIV-positive are represented as “polluting” the social order while those who are HIV-negative are seen as upholding the social order by maintaining a “clean” and healthy nation-state. The paper proposes that romantic relationships are used by the writers selected as strategies of ordering and selecting the healthy from the diseased, consequently proposing some form of containment and maintenance of social order. However, it has to be noted that this representation is framed within ideas that stereotype people as HIV-positive and HIV-negative. In addition, I argue that this ideology can be read as conservative and entrenching certain traditional notions of romance that have come to be associated with control, discipline and therefore setting the limits of sex and sexuality in society.     

“Want to Stay Over?” Demographic,Intrapersonal, and Relational Differences Among Those Who Date,Stay-Over,and Cohabit

This study explored the potential uniqueness of staying over, or spending the night with a romantic partner, as a relationship status. Using a recent sample of 2,304 individuals in romantic relationships, we explored how staying over might be associated with demographic, intrapersonal, and relational characteristics. Results suggested that individuals in “stay-over relationships” were similar to those in dating relationships and that cohabiters, defined as those who lived with a romantic partner in the same residence, were the most likely to differ from those in other types of relationships on demographic, intrapersonal, and relational assessments. Staying over in the absence of cohabitation was not associated with differences in relationship outcomes once controls were taken into account, but cohabiters who were not spending the night together did report lower relationship satisfaction compared with cohabiters spending most nights together.