Same‐Sex Couples,Families, and Marriage: Embracing and Resisting Heteronormativity1

This article focuses on lesbian and gay couples and families and the politics of same‐sex marriage. Drawing from the literature on same‐sex couples, same‐sex marriage, and queer theory’s concept of heteronormativity, we argue that gay and lesbian couples and families both affirm and challenge heterosexual and gendered family forms. First, we review literature that discusses how same‐sex relationships and families are similar to and different from conventional heterosexual relationships and families. Second, we discuss the socio‐legal and cultural inequalities faced by LGBT families. Third, we discuss the politics of same‐sex marriage, examining the debate among social conservatives, pro‐marriage activists, and queer critics over the desirability of same‐sex marriage. We conclude that the growing visibility of LGBT couples and families has made their exclusion from the institution of marriage more conspicuous and that recognition of LGBT relationships and families seems likely to increase.     

Same sex couples and marriage: negotiating relational landscapes with families and friends

Focusing on the decision to enter into a marriage and/or to conduct a commitment ceremony, this paper explores how same‐sex couples negotiate their relationships with both family and friends at the point at which they make decisions about who to invite to their ceremony. The ceremony is argued to be a ‘fateful moment’ at which point lesbians and gay men necessarily take stock of relationships which are meaningful to them. It is argued that the data from the qualitative interviews on which this paper is based add to the on‐going debates about the meaning and significance of both (given) families and (chosen) friends for same‐sex couples and suggests that it is sociologically important to recognise both the blurring of the boundaries between these categories as well as the meanings that individuals themselves bring to an understanding of the significance of these relationships.     

Multiracial Church Attendance and Support for Same‐Sex Romantic and Family Relationships

Research has found that attending a racially diverse congregation promotes more favorable attitudes toward interracial dating, marriage, and adoption, but does participation in an integrated faith community promote tolerance toward other non‐traditional romantic and family forms? This study examines the relationship between involvement in a racially diverse congregation and support for same‐sex romantic and family relationships. Data are taken from the 2005 Baylor Religion Survey. I fit logistic regression models to estimate the effect of attending a multiracial church on support for homosexuality, same‐sex marriage, and same‐sex adoption, net of sociodemographic and religious controls. Results indicate that persons who attend churches where between 25 and 75 percent of attendees are of another race are more likely to support gay sex, marriage, and adoption compared with those who attend more racially homogenous churches. This relationship generally holds when models are estimated for evangelicals and mainline Protestants separately, but not for Catholics. Findings suggest a link between religion‐based racial prejudice and heterosexism/homophobia and that increased exposure to racial diversity may promote a general tolerance toward non‐traditional romantic couples and families.     

Marriage (In)equality: The Perspectives of Adolescents and Emerging Adults With Lesbian,Gay, and Bisexual Parents

The debate over whether same‐sex couples should be allowed to enter into civil marriages continues in the United States. Forty‐nine adolescents and emerging adults (ages 14–29) with lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents were interviewed for the current exploratory study, which examined how individuals perceived themselves and their families as being affected by marriage (in)equality, as well as the factors that shaped their perspectives. More than two thirds of participants voiced unequivocal support for marriage equality, citing numerous legal and symbolic benefits that their families were denied. One quarter of participants articulated critical perspectives of marriage or the fight for marriage equality, while also acknowledging the benefits associated with marriage. As the first study to examine the perspectives of individuals with lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents with regard to marriage (in)equality, this research has important implications for the marriage equality debate and provides a springboard for future studies on this topic.     

Planned Gay Father Families in Kinship Arrangements

The current study examined whether there are differences between gay father families (n = 36) and heterosexual families (n = 36) on father‐child relationship, fathers' experiences of parental stress and children's wellbeing. The gay fathers in this study all became parents while in same‐sex relationships. They donated sperm to lesbian couples and then shared the child‐rearing with them in kinship arrangements. It was also examined whether aspects that are related specifically to gay fathers (i.e., experiences of rejection, having to defend their family situation, with whom the children live, and conflicts with the children's mothers) are also related to the father‐child relationship, parental stress and children's wellbeing. Data were collected by means of questionnaires filled in by the fathers. No significant differences between the family types were found on emotional involvement and parental concern in the father‐child relationship, parental burden (as an aspect of parental stress) or the children's wellbeing. However, gay fathers felt less competent in their child‐rearing role than heterosexual fathers. For gay fathers especially, experiences of rejection and the feeling that they have to defend their situation were significantly related to father‐child relationship, parental stress and children's wellbeing.     

“Women's Work”? Women Partners of Transgender Men Doing Housework and Emotion Work

Despite increasing family studies research on same‐sex cohabiters and families, the literature is virtually devoid of transgender and transsexual families. To bridge this gap, I present qualitative research narratives on household labor and emotion work from 50 women partners of transgender and transsexual men. Contrary to much literature on “same‐sex” couples, the division of household labor and emotion work within these contemporary families cannot simply be described as egalitarian. Further, although the forms of emotion work and “gender strategies,”“family myths,” and “accounts” with which women partners of trans men engage resonate with those from women in (non‐trans) heterosexual and lesbian couples, they are also distinct, highlighting tensions among personal agency, politics, and structural inequalities in family life.     

Queer Chicano Families: The Importance of Converging Literature on Queer Families,Chicano Families,and Chicano Queers

Despite growing literature on Latino families and Latino queer identities, there has been relatively little empirical research on Latino same‐sex families. Likewise, emerging empirical research on gay and lesbian couples tends to focus on the experiences of middle‐class, well‐educated, White couples. I argue that combining theoretical and empirical works on sexuality, Chicano studies, and queer studies can assuage this lack of diversity in each body of literature. This work first examines current literature on Latino families, with a focus on Latino familism. This is followed by a brief examination of current literature on queer Chicanos. Lastly, it will discuss queer families and the lack of current literature on Latino same‐sex couples, in order to present a course of action for further research on the intersectional social location of queer Chicano families.     

Relationship Education and Therapy for Same‐Sex Couples

The gay and lesbian community suffers higher rates of discrimination, mental health problems, and relationship break‐up than their heterosexual counterparts. In this paper we analyse the challenges confronting same‐sex couples, and the implications for couple education and therapy with same‐sex couples. We describe some similarities in the challenges confronting heterosexual and same‐sex couples (e.g., negotiation of shared realistic relationship expectations, effective communication). These similarities suggest existing evidence‐based approaches to couple therapy and relationship education are likely to assist same sex couple relationships. We also describe distinctive challenges for same‐sex couples (e.g., homophobic discrimination, internalised homophobia, and low support from many families for same sex relationships). These distinctive challenges suggest some adaptation of existing approaches to couple education and therapy could enhance their relevance and effectiveness to same sex couples.     

A Family Matter

Abstract

The 2004 debate over civil marriage for same-gender couples highlights issues faced by mixed-orientation couples after one of the spouses comes out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The disclosure becomes a family matter as their spouses and children cope with the new information and antigay attitudes. The majority of couples divorce. A minority stays married for three years or more by developing strategies that enhance the relationship, offset outside pressures, and sustain the family circle. Peers provide the most support, while therapists are often unfamiliar with sexual orientation, mixed orientation couples, or societal attitudes that impact families with a gay, lesbian, or bisexual parent. This article provides that information so that professionals can help these couples improve the quality of their lives and develop skills to create a future in which homosexuality, same-gender relationships, and gay parenting are more widely accepted and legalized. This development would decrease the number of mixed-orientation marriages with closeted spouses and increase the potential for both types of families to form lasting marriages and strong family units.     

LG(BT) Families and Counting

Counting and understanding lesbian and gay families have gained attention over the last decade in popular culture, policy, and academic research. Contentious debates on family values and same‐sex marriage, increasing rates of social tolerance for homosexuality, and a greater general academic attention on issues of sexual orientation have partially spurred this attention in demographic analysis of lesbian and gay families. It is becoming increasingly clear that sexual orientation and gender identity have an effect on demographic processes and life outcomes. Although not perfect, practically speaking, drawing on nationally representative survey data has allowed us to illuminate the presence of same‐sex families and their children. These findings have an iterative relationship with social change, public policy, and increasing tolerance for diversity. This article reviews the recent demographic contributions related to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) families. Due to research concentrations, the content of this article not only mostly addresses what is known about gay and lesbian families but also offers future directions to fill research voids including a call for greater attention to and visibility for families with bisexual and transgender members.     

Separation and Post‐Separation Parenting within Lesbian and Gay Co‐parenting (Guild Parented) Families

Gay men and lesbian women have a long history of jointly creating families and co‐parenting their children together. This qualitative study aims to explore the experiences of separation and post‐separation parenting within same‐sex parented families. This involved semi‐structured in‐depth interviews with 22 separated same‐sex parents in Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, and regional Victoria. An adaptive theory approach was used for the collection and analysis of the data. The paper explores data from a cohort of six participants who came from three different multi‐parent families who had experienced a separation – either their own, or that of other parents in their parenting group. The term ‘co‐parenting families’ was found to be confusing due to the different connotations within separation/divorce and same‐sex parent literature. Consequently, the term ‘guild parented families’ was created to describe these families. Participants from these multi‐parent families had very different experiences of family formation and separation compared to others within the wider separated same‐sex parent study. Separation of one or more of the parent couples within these families complicated their original plans and kinship ideals. Each of the families resolved this differently in their post‐separation arrangements. After separation, whole family narratives and/or the role of individual parents, were either questioned or revised as a way of resolving the complexity of their new kinship situation. Following separation, parents often relied on Western kinship norms that privilege biological kinship and the dual‐parent family to construct their post‐separation kinship arrangements. More awareness of families that begin with more than two parents is needed within separation research and amongst separation services and service providers.     

Couple Longevity in the Era of Same‐Sex Marriage in the United States

The author used a new longitudinal data set, the How Couples Meet and Stay Together surveys (N = 3,009), to generate the first nationally representative comparison of same‐sex couple stability and heterosexual couple stability in the United States. He measured the association between marriage (by several definitions of marriage) and couple longevity for same‐sex couples in the United States. Reports of same‐sex relationship instability in the past were due in part to the low rate of marriages among same‐sex couples. After controlling for marriage and marriage‐like commitments, the break‐up rate for same‐sex couples was comparable to (and not statistically distinguishable from) the break‐up rate for heterosexual couples. The results revealed that same‐sex couples who had a marriage‐like commitment had stable unions regardless of government recognition. A variety of predictors of relationship dissolution for heterosexual and for same‐sex couples are explored.     

Chapter 14. Older Lesbian and Gay Caregivers

SUMMARY

This chapter will explore the experiences of older lesbian and gay men caregivers by examining the socio-historical times in which they have lived, the impact of a lifetime of adverse societal messages about homosexuality, family rejection, and internalized homophobia, as well as their development of resiliency and psychological well-being. Once the contextual issues have been identified, the research on older lesbian and gay caregivers for families of origin and families of choice will be explored.     

RISK,MARRIAGE, AND NEOLIBERAL GOVERNANCE: Learning from the Unwillingly Excluded

Drawing from my ethnography of one prominent same‐sex marriage rights organization, I consider how activists' appropriation of a risk‐based political rationality blends utilitarian claims for equal access to self‐governance with moral assertions that posit the conjugal couple as a superior context for governing problems endemic to populations. When constructed according to risk‐based rationalities, marriage operates as a compulsory system that orients subjects to neoliberalism by promising to decrease danger for all of the “gay community,” not just same‐sex couples who marry. Articulating marriage according to a risk‐based political rationality yields a sense of urgency that makes nonconjugal intimacies and alternatives to a neoliberal ethic of care appear untenable. I add to the literature on governmentality by utilizing qualitative methods that uniquely capture the diffusion of governance from experts to social activists who are unwillingly excluded from a form of neoliberal governance.     

Same‐Sex Parent Families and Children's Academic Achievement

Children in traditional families (i.e., married, 2 biological parents) tend to do better than their peers in nontraditional families. An exception to this pattern appears to be children from same‐sex parent families. Children with lesbian mothers or gay fathers do not exhibit the poorer outcomes typically associated with nontraditional families. Studies of same‐sex parent families, however, have relied on a static conceptualization of the family and discounted the importance of the timing and number of family transitions for understanding children's outcomes. To examine whether same‐sex parent families represent an exception among nontraditional families, the author used data from the Early Childhood Longitudinal Study—Kindergarten cohort (N = 19,043) to create a dynamic indicator of children's family structure and tested its association with math assessment scores. The results indicated that children in same‐sex parent families scored lower than their peers in married, 2‐biological parent households, but the difference was nonsignificant net of family transitions.     

Intimacy and Emotion Work in Lesbian,Gay, and Heterosexual Relationships

Knowledge about how gender shapes intimacy is dominated by a heteronormative focus on relationships involving a man and a woman. In this study, the authors shifted the focus to consider gendered meanings and experiences of intimacy in same‐sex and different‐sex relationships. They merged the gender‐as‐relational perspective—that gender is co‐constructed and enacted within relationships—with theoretical perspectives on emotion work and intimacy to frame an analysis of in‐depth interviews with 15 lesbian, 15 gay, and 20 heterosexual couples. They found that emotion work directed toward minimizing and maintaining boundaries between partners is key to understanding intimacy in long‐term relationships. Moreover, these dynamics, including the type and division of emotion work, vary for men and women depending on whether they are in a same‐sex or different‐sex relationship. These findings push thinking about diversity in long‐term relationships beyond a focus on gender difference and toward gendered relational contexts.     

More than Surface Tension: Femmes in Families

SUMMARY

This article raises questions about the lack of scholarly focus on butch/femme couples and their absence in studies of lesbian couples and family-building. In an era of lesbian marriage and lesbian parenting, femme and butch coupling and family-building remain unspoken topics within family studies, including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT)–specific research. Moving beyond a focus on eroticism within the femme/butch couple, questions about how gender expression impacts other relationships dynamics, including the maintenance of long-term relationships, power and intimacy, domestic chores and child-rearing, are raised. The femme role in “homemaking,” that is, building and maintaining families, especially needs further exploration.     

Stigma and family relationships of middle-aged gay men in recovery

The primary objective of this study was to explore how middle-aged gay men in recovery cope with stigma and family relationships. For gay men, perceptions of acceptance of their sexual orientation and degree of social connectedness can play a role in their recovery from alcohol and substance use disorders. Yet gay men may have a more difficult time accessing certain family-level health resources because their families of origin may stigmatize, reject, or silence them on account of their sexual orientation. Semi-structured interviews were used to explore how participants in recovery constructed and coped with their experiences of stigma, family relationships, and alcohol and substance use. Participants (30 gay men ages 50 to 64) completed a questionnaire and interview. We used constructivist grounded theory method and minority stress theory as a theoretical framework to interpret the data. We identified the following themes: Internalization of Stigma, Changes in Coping Strategies, and Ongoing Stigma. Future research should explore how to incorporate familial support into gay men's recovery, address ongoing internalized stigma, and develop a social response to stigma, rather than leaving it to individuals to confront on their own.     

Gay Men: Negotiating Procreative,Father, and Family Identities

Our qualitative study examines the social psychology of gay men’s experiences with their procreative, father, and family identities. In‐depth interviews were conducted with 19 childless gay men and 20 gay men in the United States who have fathered using diverse means excluding heterosexual intercourse. By focusing on men aged 19 – 55 residing primarily in Florida and New York, our novel analysis illuminates how emerging structural opportunities and shifting constraints shape gay men’s procreative consciousness. Findings reveal that gay men’s procreative consciousness evolves throughout men’s life course, and is profoundly shaped by institutions and ruling relations, such as adoption and fertility agencies, assumptions about gay men, and negotiations with birth mothers, partners, and others.