“You're not getting married for the moon and the stars”: The uncertainties of older British widowers about the idea of new romantic relationships

Older widowers are more likely to remarry than older widowed women. However, relatively little is known about the attitudes of older widowers to new romantic relationships and remarriage or repartnering. In this study of 60 widowers, more than half spontaneously discussed their attitudes toward, and experiences of, these relationships. However, none of the widowers had remarried and of those who described themselves as repartnered only one was cohabiting. We examine these data in the light of Lopata's concept of ‘husband sanctification’ (1981). We identify four themes. First, some widowers do sanctify their late wives. Second, we argue that wife sanctification contributes to widowers' uncertainties about repartnering. Third, when widowers make decisions to repartner, wife sanctification does not appear to make an important contribution. Finally, there is evidence to suggest that wife sanctification influences how men refer to their new women friends. Thus, we conclude by arguing that wife sanctification influences widowers' decisions surrounding remarriage/repartnering.     

Older widows'' attitudes towards men and remarriage

Sixty-four older women who had been widowed for several years were interviewed about their attitudes towards men and remarriage. Qualitative and quantitative data are presented. A majority said they are interested in or attracted to men, but a large majority said they are opposed to remarriage or consider it impossible. Number of prior marriages, length and quality of prior marriage, driving, working, persisting grief, other social relationships, prior caregiving, finances, age, and health were investigated as possible determinants of these attitudes. The findings draw attention to factors that vary historically by cohort, in addition to those that are age- and health-related, and support the life-span approach to human development. The attitudes of older widows towards men, courtship, sexuality, and cross-sex relationships are relatively unexplored topics in social gerontology; this investigation contributes significantly to our understanding of older women.     

Single Parent Widows:

This paper examines the stressors, appraisal of be- reavement, coping, resources, grieving responses and health of four types of single widow parents: widows raising dependent children; widows raising a handicapped child; independent older widows with children; and dependent, ill, older widows with a child. A review of literature on single parent widow families and data from the authors research on single parent widows served as a basis for this paper. Major gaps in knowledge include: limited research on single parent widow families including longitudinal and theory-based research; findings which are based on small samples of single parent widows who are often mixed with other single parent types; little research on single parent widows from Black, Hispanic and other ethnic groups; and few studies on resources used by widows. A secondary analysis of data from the authors research indicated characteristics of high- risk, vulnerable, and healthy single parent widow families. High-risk single parent widow families are characterized by: presence of mul- tiple stressors; intense grieving; appraisal of bereavement as a threat or harmful loss; use of less adaptive coping; limited use of resources;and poor health. Characteristics of vulnerable single parent widow families include: presence of stressors including an unresolved grieving process; negative appraisals of bereavement with hope for a more positive appraisal in the future; limited coping abilities; use of some resources such as helpful social supports; and less than op- timum health which can improve with intervention. Positive mean- ings of bereavement, use of adaptive ways of coping, a normal grieving process, use of many resources, and good health are charac- teristics which are prevalent in healthy single parent widow families. Themes in common to all four family types were: the grieving pro- cess; changes in roles and responsibilities; employment; loneliness; dating and remarriage; and caregiver stress. Directions for future research and implications for family professionals are discussed.     

Financial Responsibilities Toward Older Parents and Stepparents Following Divorce and Remarriage

We assessed beliefs about adult children’s responsibilities to financially assist parents and stepparents following later-life divorce and remarriage using a multiple-segment factorial vignette with a national sample (N = 1,121). Ordered logistic regression analyses indicated that beliefs about financial responsibilities to older adults declined after marital transitions, and responsibilities to assist stepparents were more tenuous than to parents. Beliefs about intergenerational responsibilities were affected by adult children’s financial resources and by changes in older adults’ marital statuses. Kinship obligation norms, the adult children’s financial resources, and reciprocity norms were the most common reasons used to explain beliefs about responsibilities to financially assist older parents and stepparents, but these reasons became less salient following divorce and remarriage of the older adult. After marital transitions, beliefs about intergenerational financial responsibilities were more often based on the older adult’s culpability for being in a position of need, relationship quality, and diminished kinship obligations.     

Options to liberalize Social Security disabled widow(er)s benefits

Each month, 200,000 widows and 6,000 widowers receive Social Security disabled widow(er)s benefits, each benefit averaging about $550. Among the most economically at-risk Social Security beneficiaries, their benefits are permanently reduced. This paper reviews the legislative history of the disabled widow(er)s benefit, identifying key decisions that gave shape to this benefit. Social Security program data and six years of Current Population Survey data (March Annual Demographic Files, 1995-2000) are used to profile the economic status of current and potential disabled widows. The analysis, including comparison with other widows, provides strong evidence of economic need among disabled widows with, for example, 44% of disabled widow beneficiaries, ages 50-59, having below-poverty incomes compared with 15% of like-aged non-disabled widows. We conclude that serious consideration should be given to extending eligibility to all widow(er)s disabled before the normal retirement age; to providing a benefit equal to 100% of the deceased spouse's private insurance amount (PIA); to eliminating the unnecessarily restrictive seven-year rule; and to protecting beneficiaries from losing their eligibility to Medicaid. Even in the context of today's heated Social Security debate, we suggest that a rare opportunity may exist to garner bipartisan support for meaningful, low-cost improvements, in a benefit that primarily targets women.     

Ease of remarriage for females: a cross-cultural test of competing explanations

Using data on the relative status of women in 93 societies, the authors attempt "to identify and test two explanations for the existence of sex biases in norms governing remarriage. These explanations focus on the benefits derived from imposing restrictions on women's opportunities in the remarriage process and the countervailing power women command to resist subordination and the limitation of their freedom." Results of a multiple classification analysis indicate that "both theories taken together do predict cross-cultural variation in sex biases in remarriage norms. In general, women experience more difficulty than men in remarriage in societies where females have little power in domestic contexts, there is low value attached to women's economic contribution and women have little control over property, control of female sexual expression is high, and the levirate is practiced."     

Lessons from history: Surviving old age during The Great Depression in the United States

This paper focuses on 30 couples who received a pension and other services from two private trusts in Detroit, Michigan beginning in 1929 or 1930. Results of the qualitative analysis of case files, which contain notes recorded chronologically for 17 of the couples and then surviving spouses, provide a portrait of older couples' lives prior to a partner's death, circumstances surrounding the death, and changes in the social support systems of widows and widowers until their deaths. Close examination of the experiences of these couples is a reminder of how old age and widowhood were experienced prior to the enactment of public pensions and health insurance in the United States.     

The Remarriage Market

Using data from the 1970 National Fertility Survey, this study examines the influence of factors associated with the remarriage market on two outcome areas: 1) the probability of remarriage and the interval between marital events; and 2) the selectivity of spouse characteristics. The analysis finds that women who had children, who were highly educated, and who separated at older ages had markedly lower probabilities of remarriage and longer intervals; however, only weak support for the expectation that the above factors would alter the selectivity process for women who do remarry is found. The findings are consistent with a remamage market perspective, however the analysis also indicates that factors other than those considered here may play a more important role in influencing the remarriage process.     

Dating after late-life spousal loss: Does it compromise relationships with adult children?

In Widowhood in an American City (1973), Helena Lopata observed that widows struggle with new romantic relationships because their children often are resentful toward these new partners. Since the publication of Lopata's classic work, however, few studies have explored empirically the ways that widow(er)'s dating affects their relationships with children. We use prospective data from the Changing Lives of Older Couples study (CLOC) to explore: (1) the impact of bereaved spouses' dating on positive and negative aspects of parent–child relationships six and 18 months postloss; (2) the extent to which these associations are explained by preloss characteristics; and (3) the factors that moderate the association between widow(er) dating and parent–child relations. Multivariate analyses show that widowers who are interested in dating six months postloss report low levels of support and high levels of conflict with their children, yet widows report enhanced relationship quality. This pattern reflects the fact that men who are interested in dating do form new relationships, whereas women's interests are not translated into actual dating. Widowers' dating six months postloss compromises parent–child closeness among those with a history of strained parent–child relations, yet enhances closeness among those with historically good relationships. Dating takes a harsher toll on parent–daughter compared to parent–son relationships. Overall, dating threatens parent–child relationships in specific cases, yet it may also strengthen widow(er) s' parent–child bonds. We discuss the implications for the well-being of older widow(er)s and adult children.     

Misconceptions about strength exercise among older adults

The purposes of this study were to determine current opinions of strength exercise among older adults and whether knowledge of recommended protocols differs between strength-exercise participants and nonparticipants. One hundred twenty-nine older adults (77.5 +/- 8.6 years) responded to questions about their opinions, experiences, and knowledge of strength-exercise recommendations. Some misconceptions were identified in the sample, with 48.4% of participants responding "no" to "strength training increases muscle mass," 45% responding "no" to "increasing weight is more important than number of repetitions for building strength," and 37% responding that walking is more effective than lifting weights at building muscle strength. The number of correct responses was related to the number of years in school (semipartial r(2)= .046). More education is needed about the benefits and recommendations to ensure proper use of current strength-exercise protocols among older adults.     

Remarried Men and Remarried Women

The study of remarriage after divorce has by and large been ignored by family sociologists. Previous studies on remarriage focused primarily on the individual's adjustment to or the aftermath of remarriage. Employing 1972-82 General Social Survey data, 1 use regression techniques to investigate the relationship between socioeconomic variables and the state of remarriage, for divorced men and women. I test the hypotheses that for men, education, occupation and income level are positively related to remarriage, while for women these variables are inversely associated with remarriage. As hypothesized, highly educated divorced women are less likely to be remarried, as are divorced women who are occupationally and financially independent. The important factor for divorced women considering remarriage is whether or not they are working. Divorced men, on the other hand, are likely to be remarried when they are older and have higher incomes. Unexpectedly, education is inversely related to remarriage for divorced men.     

伊斯兰婚姻向一妻制演变是历史发展必然

伊斯兰婚姻制是伊斯兰教法的重要组成部分，允许一夫多妻。但近现代，一夫一妻制在伊斯兰国家的普遍实行，说明伊斯兰婚姻向一夫一妻制演变是人类社会发展的必然，正在伊斯兰世界产生深远影响。     

Enrollment,Educational Expenditures and Work Among One-Parent Children in India

In this study, I examined the effect of single parenthood due to death, separation, divorce, or migration of spouse on educational inputs among school-age children in India. I used the nationally representative India Human Development Survey to study the implications of different types of parenthood on educational expenditure among children ages 6 to 11 and 12 to 18 years and work participation among the older age group. The study finds that the separated or divorced mothers on average spend less on education and older children of widows are more likely to work because of resource constraints associated with single parenthood. The results highlight the need for public policies that would support widows as well as separated or divorced mothers.     

Adult daughter aging mother relationship over the life cycle: The Turkish case

Effects of mothers and daughters life cycle changes on mother–daughter relationships in the present study. The life cycle transitions focused on in this study are daughters' marriage and parenthood and mothers' widowhood and declining health. In-depth interviews were conducted with thirty Turkish adult daughter–aging mother pairs. Analyses of interviews with mothers and daughters revealed that age related changes reported by Turkish mothers and daughters were similar to those reported by western participants. Mother–daughter relationships were transformed when daughters got married, had children, and when mothers became widows. Relationships generally improved over the life cycle. Shared sense of femaleness increased and was reinforced by daughters' experience of wife and mother roles and resulted in greater empathy for mothers. Mothers' widowhood and declining health were associated with role reversal. Certain culture specific themes emerged. These were transfer of the responsibility for the daughter's honor from the family to the husband, stress on filial obligations, view of care giving and care taking as cyclic over the life cycle, explanations of conflicts by external norms and/or circumstances, association of women with places and/or relationships. Ambivalence voiced by daughters was interpreted as renegotiation of roles within a society in transition from traditional to more individualist norms.     

Remarriage Between Divorced People with Children from Previous Marriages: A Proposal for Preparation for Remarriage*

This paper discusses the special attributes of the legally reconstituted families formed when divorced persons who have children from their previous marriages remarry. The remarriage family is identified as a high risk group for which society has not as yet established norms. Interviews with 70 couples suggest that the stress for couples and families involved in divorce and remarriage would be prevented or reduced through remarriage preparation courses.     

No regrets: Widows' stories about the last days of their husbands' lives

This article looks at the stories older women, who were participants in a study of older women's experiences of widowhood, told about their husbands' deaths. The findings are based on in-depth, narrative interviews with 28 women over 50 whose husbands had died within the previous five years. Most participants told their husbands' death stories without being asked to. There were three major parts to these death stories: finding out their husbands were dying; taking care of their husbands while coming to terms with the fact of their impending deaths; and the period immediately before and at the actual time of death. These stories appear to give meaning and comfort to widows as they recount them. They provide bridges or transition experiences through which women come to understand their own journey from wife to widow.     

Past‐Year Sexual Inactivity Among Older Married Persons and Their Partners

Family scholars have focused on the onset of sexual activity early in the life course, but little is known about the cessation of sexual activity in relationships in later life. We use event‐history analysis techniques and logistic regression to identify the correlates of sexual inactivity among older married men and women. We analyze data for 1,502 married people from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project, a nationally representative sample of 3,005 noninstitutionalized American men and women ages 57 to 85. We find 29% of the married persons report no sexual activity for the previous 12 months or more. Relationship duration, chronological age, and poor physical health are all independently associated with sexual inactivity. Characteristics such as marital happiness, premarital cohabitation, and remarriage are also associated with levels of inactivity or activity. Analyses also point to gender differences in the correlates of sexual inactivity.     

Timing of Remarriage Among Divorced and Widowed Parents

Research on timing of parental remarriage is important to understanding consequences of remarriage for children. In this study, survival analyses were conducted predicting timing of parental remarriage from parental loss in a sample of 3,774 offspring whose parents divorced or whose mother or father died during childhood. Transition to remarriage was quicker for parents who divorced compared to those who were widowed, especially for fathers. By examining timing of remarriage from the perspective of parents, and thus children, we identify not only who is more likely to experience parental remarriage, but when remarriage is likely to occur.