Separation and Post‐Separation Parenting within Lesbian and Gay Co‐parenting (Guild Parented) Families

Gay men and lesbian women have a long history of jointly creating families and co‐parenting their children together. This qualitative study aims to explore the experiences of separation and post‐separation parenting within same‐sex parented families. This involved semi‐structured in‐depth interviews with 22 separated same‐sex parents in Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, and regional Victoria. An adaptive theory approach was used for the collection and analysis of the data. The paper explores data from a cohort of six participants who came from three different multi‐parent families who had experienced a separation – either their own, or that of other parents in their parenting group. The term ‘co‐parenting families’ was found to be confusing due to the different connotations within separation/divorce and same‐sex parent literature. Consequently, the term ‘guild parented families’ was created to describe these families. Participants from these multi‐parent families had very different experiences of family formation and separation compared to others within the wider separated same‐sex parent study. Separation of one or more of the parent couples within these families complicated their original plans and kinship ideals. Each of the families resolved this differently in their post‐separation arrangements. After separation, whole family narratives and/or the role of individual parents, were either questioned or revised as a way of resolving the complexity of their new kinship situation. Following separation, parents often relied on Western kinship norms that privilege biological kinship and the dual‐parent family to construct their post‐separation kinship arrangements. More awareness of families that begin with more than two parents is needed within separation research and amongst separation services and service providers.     

‘Tell Me and I Forget,Teach Me and I May Remember,Involve Me and I Learn. And That's What It's About.’ How a Co‐design Methodology is Used in the Delivery of Parents Building Solutions: A Qualitative Study

There are many parenting programs delivered in Australia and Parents Building Solutions (PBS) is one of these. Collaboratively designed by Parentzone staff of Anglicare Victoria, it has a twenty year history of building the evidence base. PBS stands apart from other programs because parents actively co‐design the sessions and content with skilled facilitators. Understanding the drivers, processes and practices that make the co‐design methodology work, is fundamental to the implementation science that underpins the program.This study aimed to examine the way co‐design was used in the delivery of PBS, specifically looking at program implementation and outcomes. Focus groups and interviews were conducted with Parentzone staff (team leaders and facilitators) and parents who had recently completed a program. Ethics approval was provided and analysis was conducted using NVivo software with co‐design as the unit of analysis. Three major themes about co‐design were present across team leaders, facilitators and parents: 1) responsiveness and flexibility are central to the functionality of co‐design within PBS; 2) facilitators implement the co‐design methodology using a suite of knowledge and skills; and 3) parents report tangible results from participating in a co‐designed parenting program. There was an overwhelming appreciation from both facilitators and parents about the co‐designed implementation style. Facilitators and team leaders highly valued the flexibility of the program which enabled their ability to respond to parent's needs. Furthermore, parents believed they achieved tangible outcomes derived from strategies and support delivered in the program. The co‐design methodology used in PBS was evident for all stakeholders and was a driver of program implementation and its outcomes. The methodology described in this has practice implications for family therapists and others who work directly parents and families.     

“The troublesome other and I”: Parallel stories of separated parents in prolonged conflicts

This qualitative study aims to explore how noncohabiting parenting couples in prolonged conflict construct the other parent and themselves. Ten parents from five parent couples were interviewed. A dyadic analytical design was used, where parent's stories of conflict were analyzed in parallel with their co‐parent. Drawing on positioning theory, self‐identity as parents emerged as implicit counter positions in storylines, which construct the co‐parent as “the troublesome other.” Two typologies of conflicted storylines were prominent in the findings: storylines of violations of trust, positioning the co‐parents in relation to traumatic events in the past and, storylines of who is bad, positioning the co‐parent as either a disloyal co‐parent or a dysfunctional parent. The findings indicate that prolonged conflicts made it impossible to find available positions for cooperation. We argue that family therapists should aid each household toward promoting child and family resilience rather than continued efforts to solve chronic conflicts.     

Case‐Based Research in Family Therapy

Traditionally, case‐based research has not been considered as scientific by many in the field due to the lack of controlled conditions and objectivity. However, case‐study material may be more effective than once believed in educating family therapists. Future implications of the role of case studies in family therapy research are considered, including the manner in which case studies might be designed to be more rigorous so that they can serve as the basis for drawing causal inferences in clinical cases, and at the same time, provide family therapists with useful information to improve their skills. A discussion section highlights the future direction of case‐based research in the family therapy literature and how it may be used as an effective learning tool.     

Engaging Fathers in Family Therapy with Violent Adolescents

Violent behavior in adolescents can often signal profound distress or pain arising from family conflicts, hostile marital separations, sudden losses and other family turmoil. By circumventing blame the therapist engages the family in a constructive process that allows adolescents to change and grow and parents to share pain and sorrow about their own issues and responsibilities for their children. This re‐establishes healthy generational boundaries, produces a clearer co‐parenting alliance (e.g. after divorce) and creates sibling support. This paper describes an experiential approach, for working with violent adolescents in family therapy influenced by the pioneer work of Satir and Whitaker. It integrates systemic and developmental theories linking the presenting problem to relevant family events. The therapist: (1) explores adolescent development in the family and social context; (2) establishes a therapeutic alliance through understanding the interpersonal context for violent behavior, and (3) re‐directs negative actions into positive connections with family members. Segments of family therapy sessions with two adolescent boys and their families from different cultural backgrounds illustrate the impact of paternal absence for adolescent well‐being and the need to actively engage fathers in family therapy. Mario, the father's ‘tumor’, and Juan with his despairing violence are two problematic adolescents brought to therapy because of their aggressive behavior at home and/or in the school. The paper describes how to give them a different voice and build a therapeutic alliance with the family.     

The Body Comes to Family Therapy: Utilising Research to Formulate Treatment Interventions with Somatising Children and their Families

Children and adolescents with functional somatic symptoms are challenging to understand and to treat. The challenges begin at the very outset of the intervention – with the neurological and psychiatric assessments. Patients presenting with functional somatic symptoms, as well as their families, frequently deny any emotional or family problem, and parents are often genuinely baffled as to why a child has suddenly become so ill and why no medical explanation is forthcoming. Families can be unwilling to engage in family assessment and therapy, and therapists may find that standard approaches to family therapy simply can end up alienating these families – the door to therapy is slammed shut. This article is the story of my struggle to understand somatising children and their families and to find a common language to enable us to co‐construct formulations, to agree to a treatment plan, and to work together towards a pathway to health. It is also about the role of research and how knowledge from different system levels – and most specifically about the body – may need to be integrated into the therapy to help bring about change.     

Lesbian Parenting: Insiders' Voices

Lesbian parenting has entered the public arena over recent years via debates regarding access to fertility services and adoption, legal recognition of same‐sex parents and children's rights (McNair, 2002). Research in the area has been published for over 20 years, with an increasing shift towards delineating diversity rather than proving the legitimacy of these families. The ANZJFT — the major mouthpiece for Australian family therapists — has made curiously little contribution to the literature on lesbian parenting. The lack of discussion leaves trainees and family therapists largely ignorant about the lived experience of lesbian family life. This paper goes some way to filling this gap. We present data gathered from 151 Australian lesbian parents who answered questions about their own and their families' perceived strengths. Despite the constraints and challenges of living within a heteronormative and homophobic society and dealing with discrimination and legal, political and social non‐legitimation, this group of lesbian parents expressed great pride in raising well‐adjusted and happy children. They also described their families as thoughtfully planned, proud, accepting and celebratory of diversity and difference, flexible in gender roles, and as having interesting, supportive, extended kinship networks that included a wide range of positive role models for their children.     

The Family,The Statutory Worker and the Therapist Working Together for Change

Myths have developed for some therapists and statutory workers that have prevented or interfered with their forming a satisfactory working relationship. In such a climate, families tend to remain confused and disempowered and become more dependent on the authority of the legal and statutory system. This paper describes work with one particular family and a local Community Services, Victoria social worker, where these issues were addressed in a way that allowed the workers to be clear about their roles and enabled the parents to resume their responsibility for parenting. The emphasis in this article is on practice issues.     

A Vocabulary of Motives: Understanding How Parents Define Quality Time

Although discussions of parenting refer to quality time, parents’ views of quality time have not been explored. Using the Sloan 500 Family Study, this article examines how 220 parents from 110 dual‐parent families define the spending quality time with their families and finds 3 distinct views: Structured‐planning parents saw it as planned family activities, child‐centered parents emphasized heart‐to‐heart talks with their children, and time‐intensive parents believed that all the time they spent with their families was quality time. Mothers and fathers both valued quality time, but, particularly when parents within a household disagreed, mothers more often described having a more active parenting role and assumed greater responsibility for quality time, reflecting a gendered division of parenting within the home.     

Addressing Emotional Communication in Family Relationships in the Treatment of Young People with Anorexia: A Case Study

Family‐based treatment (FBT) is an evidence‐based approach to anorexia nervosa in young people. Because it is not always successful, attention has been given to how families experience the treatment. A number of therapists have proposed possible additions to, or improvements in, the model. In successful cases relational containment may be achieved in the first phase of treatment. The treatment is often successful, but when initial goals, such as weight recovery, are not achieved, continuing to use the techniques described in the manual may become unhelpful. Sometimes therapists may need to address issues such as emotion coaching that are not specifically addressed in the FBT model. We describe a case in which the therapist addressed the family's emotional style in the first stage of treatment. This focus enabled progress to be achieved despite the adolescent's continuing difficulty in eating without parental support, and her escalating symptoms of anxiety and obsessional compulsive disorder (OCD). Therapy helped the adolescent and family understand that anorexic and OCD symptoms can be understood as a way of distracting from and managing distress. When this connection was made in therapy, the parents could help their daughter to manage distress in more adaptive ways. Parents may need help with their own difficulties in processing distress. In this case the parents needed the opportunity to resolve feelings of grief about a miscarriage in order to do so. We propose that therapy should address family difficulties with managing distress from an early stage.     

Achieving Competent Family Practice with Same-Sex Parents

Abstract

Due to the increasing recognition of same-sex marriage in different jurisdictions and growing numbers of parents raising children in the context of a same-sex relationship, it is becoming ever more important for family therapists to attain clinical competence in working with families headed by same-sex parents. This paper takes as its premise that good intentions and general acceptance of diversity are not sufficient in working with this population of families. Rather, clinical competence rests on experience working with lesbian and gay clients and knowledge of the impact of heterosexism on parenting in the context of same-sex relationships. Equally critical to competent family therapy practice is a theoretical framework that pulls together complementary concepts from different bodies of theory to analyze family structures and functions in the social context of heterosexism. To this end, this paper reviews family systems theory, structural social work, ecological systems theory and queer theory with an eye to culling complementary constructs relevant to working with same-sex parents. Specific aspects of family functioning such as maintenance of boundaries around and within families and role differentiation between parents are then explored using this theoretical framework. Finally, implications for the clinician working with families led by same-sex parents are reviewed.     

‘Who is in Your Family?’ Italian Children with Non‐heterosexual Parents Talk about Growing Up in a Non‐conventional Household

The paper presents findings from explorative research conducted in Italy with seven 9‐ to 12‐year‐old children with non‐heterosexual parents. The aim was to find out how children describe their family structure, how they talk about their family with peers, and how they experience peers' attitudes towards non‐heterosexual families. Findings show that children have a flexible and inclusive representation of family and they disclose selectively with their peers who don't always consider homosexuality normal and homoparental families ‘real families’. The paper concludes by suggesting that institutional recognition for same‐sex parenting would support children in the everyday work of negotiating diversity.     

Child‐focused Parenting after Separation: Socio‐legal Developments and Challenges

In this article I utilise developing ideas in family law as a backdrop against which to discuss changing assumptions about parenting. In particular, I examine the gender‐neutral assumptions within family law in Australia and elsewhere in the light of seemingly contradictory evidence about the value of post‐separation fathering. That men were equally capable of providing effective parenting was by no means clear at the time that the principle of gender‐neutrality became common in family law—the 1960s and 70s. Only recently, has burgeoning research on fathering begun to more clearly affirm its value and to clarify the conditions under which pre and post separation fathering makes a positive difference. Paradoxically, it is at this very time that legally based challenges to the gender‐neutral, shared‐parenting philosophy of the 1995 Australian Family Law Reform Act have begun to emerge. The often‐perplexed interface between law, social science research and therapeutic intervention presents many challenges. I conclude the article by flagging a number of questions relevant to family therapists in this difficult field of work.     

A Family System Approach to Investigate Family‐Based Pathways Between Financial Stress and Adolescent Problem Behavior

This article proposes a family system approach to improve our understanding on family stress processes. Examining effects within (actor) and between (partner) parents, we explored family‐based pathways through which financial stress is associated with adolescent externalizing problem behavior. Data from 340 families were analyzed, with both parents rating their financial stress and parenting stress, and parents as well as adolescents rating the parent–child communication and adolescent problem behavior. The results revealed that the association between financial stress and adolescent externalizing problem behaviors was mediated by parenting stress and parent–child communication. Although our results provided evidence for both actor and partner effects, actor effects were more prominent. No parent gender differences were found in the strength of the pathways.     

A Qualitative Study of Parents’ and Children’s Views on Mediation

This qualitative study examined the benefits to children of family mediation for divorcing couples and the limitations of such mediation. To capture the perspectives of parents and their children, we invited 40 parents and 10 children to participate in the study. The parent informants reported that mediation improved the efficacy of their parenting and alleviated their children’s stress about their divorce. In contrast, the child informants felt they were powerless when involved in the mediation process and that they received limited support from the mediators. Strategies are proposed for improving the cultural applicability of mediation services for children in a Chinese society.     

Keeping Mum: Characteristics and Family Dynamics of Mothers Who Are Liable to Pay Child Support in Australia

In recent decades, changes in post‐separation parenting arrangements in Australia have led to an increase in the small but significant group of mothers liable to pay child support to fathers. The present study uses data from the Child Support Reform Study, a national random sample of separated parents in Australia registered with the Child Support Agency (CSA) in 2008. In total, 185 mothers with a child support liability were identified. Drawing on reports from separated mothers and fathers liable to pay child support in 2008, the study found that 43% of liable mothers had shared or more time. Few liable mothers reported spending no time with their child in the previous 12 months. Unlike liable fathers, mothers with a child support liability tended to be more ‘fearful’ of their former partner; have a resident child in their household; work fewer hours in paid employment; and have older children. Liable mothers were also more likely than other separated mothers to describe the relationship with their former partner as ‘fearful.’ Gendered expectations of parenting mean that liable mothers and liable fathers may adopt different behavioural responses to their roles. The implications of these findings for family therapists are briefly discussed.     

A Therapist’s Mandate?: Integrating an Ethics of Care into Custody Law by Recognising and Responding to Post‐separation Parental Loss of Connection with Children

In 1999 Smart and Neale published their seminal book Family Fragments, arguing for the replacement of the ethics of justice that currently informs custody law and practice with an ethics of care. Recognising loss is one of four principles they identify as being key to care‐based processes for managing post‐separation parenting arrangements. Here they had in mind the non‐resident fathers in their study, who were often anxious, angry, and resentful about their diminished fatherhood. Yet gender‐neutral custody laws and the greater prominence given to shared care across the West means that increasing numbers of separated mothers are also experiencing diminished connections to their children, either by becoming non‐resident parents or through shared care arrangements. Research into post‐separation fathers’ and mothers’ experiences of loss and grief in relation to their children is sparse and largely consists of small‐scale qualitative studies focusing either on fathers or mothers. Nonetheless, these studies show that the grief talk of post‐separated parents is strikingly similar, except that mothers who become non‐resident parents commonly talk about a sense of stigma and shame, while fathers are more likely than mothers to resort to the language of anger and rights. Despite Smart and Neale's call roughly 20 years ago, custody law systems across the West continue to neglect parents’ need for recognition and support. This paper seeks to rectify this social neglect through describing a dual program of therapeutically informed interventions with separated mothers and fathers. This is designed to recognise and respond to parental loss and grief experiences, whilst simultaneously fostering personal self‐reflexivity and transformation. The latter is no easy task but is frequently an essential basis for workable co‐parenting post‐separation.