Mothering,Guilt and Shame

Even as research continues to explore mothering experiences and social psychologists consider the costs of guilt and shame, few empirical works have examined the relationships among mothering, guilt and shame. The idea that guilt and shame are necessary components of mothering is widespread. A few sources take seriously the emotions of guilt and shame nor has considerable thought been given to the social nature of guilt and shame. Rather than accept a purely psychological explanation of guilt and shame, I investigate the institutional and interactional dynamics that fuel women’s drives to perform as ‘the good mother’. In particular, I explore the ‘good mothering’ ideology that places mothers at risk of guilt and shame and then two social and institutional spaces where guilt and shame are likely to be prevalent.     

Fear,Shame, and Health Promotion

Abstract

Drinking games are associated with excess alcohol use and alcohol-related problems, yet it is unclear whether they are unique to the college environment or whether students come to college familiar with such games. The authors queried 1,252 students attending voluntary summer orientation programs about their experiences with drinking games. A majority (63%) indicated they had played drinking games and viewed them as a means to get drunk quickly and to socialize, control others, or get someone else drunk. Logistic regression analyses revealed that familiarity with drinking situations was associated with a greater likelihood of playing drinking games. Students who reported drinking more frequently and consuming greater quantities of alcohol than others, having lifetime marijuana use, and initiating alcohol consumption between the ages of 14 and 16 years were significantly more likely to have participated in drinking games. These findings demonstrate the importance of considering students' participation in drinking games when campus officials address alcohol use.     

Danger,Pleasure, Vulnerability,Shame: Reply to Commentaries

Hartman's and Blechner's responses to my essay highlight some illuminating differences with my own theoretical and clinical inclinations. In particular, Hartman's postmodernism and Blechner's empiricism allow me to clarify my own thinking, in particular the centrality of my concern with vulnerability. Sedgwick's challenge to my clinical case says much of interest about shame. It also permits me to address misunderstandings that can take place between analysts and patients, as well as between psychoanalysts and academics.     

Shame,Realisation and Restitution: The Ethics of Restorative Practice

In this article, I want to highlight the ethics of restorative practice in therapeutic intervention with men who have abused family members. The term restorative action is commonly evoked in the aftermath of abuse, especially in the context of attempts to re‐establish respectful relationships between family members. I will critique popular ideas concerning remorse, forgiveness, pardoning and reconciliation, and pose possibilities for ethical practices of restorative action.     

Shame,Sexual Compulsivity,and Eroticizing Flirtatious Others: An Experimental Study

Clinical observation and correlational studies with nonclinical samples suggest that a linkage between negative affective states (especially shame) and engagement in erotic pursuits typifies sexual compulsivity. The present study tested whether experimental induction of shame leads to increased interest in erotically suggestive targets among more sexually compulsive individuals. A total of 74 age-traditional heterosexual university students first recalled either an emotionally neutral or a shame-inducing personal experience, then completed a nonpredictive gaze-cueing task featuring flirtatious or emotionally neutral faces of the same or opposite sex. They also rated the faces’ attractiveness and completed a validated sexual compulsivity scale and two control measures (executive control, sociosexuality). Higher (versus lower) sexual compulsivity predicted weaker gaze-triggered attentional orienting in response to the flirtatious opposite-sex face in the shame (versus neutral) condition, and this was accounted for by (higher) attractiveness ratings of the flirtatious opposite-sex face. Shame thus appears to increase sexualization (i.e., reduces salience of agentic features and increases appeal of physical attributes) of erotically suggestive targets among more sexually compulsive individuals.     

Shame in Self and Society

This article proposes that shame is the master emotion of everyday life but is usually invisible in modern societies because of taboo. A review of shame studies suggests a taboo that results in denial and silence. The studies by Cooley, Freud, Elias, Lynd, Goffman, Lewis, and Tomkins have been largely ignored. Their work suggests a vital connection between shame and social life: shame can be seen as a signal of a threat to the bond. If so, understanding shame would be necessary for the study of social systems. The taboo on shame in English still holds: current usage, for the most part, assigns an intense and narrow singular meaning. This meaning offends, on the one hand, and misses the everyday function of shame, on the other. Perhaps the problem can be approached, as it is in traditional societies, by the use of a broader term, such as “bond affect” or “Shame.” Such a concept could lead to discovery of the emotional/relational world.     

Shame,Peer, and Oscillating Frames in DWI Conviction: Extending Goffman's Sociological Landscape

Goffman argues that “the interaction order” is a substantive domain autonomous from formal social organization. His scholarship generally analyzes the interaction order in its autonomous workings but neglects the areas in which it is legally regulated. Analyzing the case of legal detention and conviction for the offense of driving while intoxicated (DWI), the article illustrates and extends Goffman's paradigm. A DWI conviction is the result of the legal system's response to distortion at the level of the interaction order. Conviction creates new interactive frames. The interaction order resists the official moral definition of DWI.     

The Haunting of Shame: Autoethnography and the Multivalent Stigma of Being Queer,Muslim, and Single

Sociology has neglected the terrain of the gay Muslim single as a sociological phenomenon. Produced and managed via meaningful social conduct, the gay Muslim single often holds negative symbolic and cultural worth, one of lacking identification and presence. The stigma of the gay Muslim single is actively reproduced through social and power relations. I examine multiple stigmas and dichotomies by using autoethnography to illustrate the human lived experience of a gay Muslim single, who is silenced, invisibilized, and embodies a social life of “emptiness.” The gay Muslim single, bringing about a “moral panic,” confronts temporal regulations, norms, and values, notably those of heterosexual ones in everyday social life. He is cast as an “outsider,” which reinforces his stigma in everyday social life.     

The Role of Shame in Women's Recovery from Alcoholism

Abstract

This study compares the recovery experience of female members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) who reported a history of childhood sexual abuse (68%) with those who did not report experiencing childhood sexual abuse. A sample of 53 women was obtained from AA. A significant relationship was found between shame and two measures of difficulties in recovery-problems in social adjustment and relapse. Though the hypothesis that experiences of child sexual abuse predicted difficulty in recovery was not supported, these data suggest that shame may be an important variable in both the etiology and treatment of alcoholism in women.     

Shame in the Clinical Process with LGBTQ Clients

This commentary integrates the literature on the social and psychological dynamics of shame and discusses its relevance to the clinical process, especially with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender and queer clients. It is argued that engagements with shame, especially where sexual desire, sexual orientation, or gender identity is a foremost consideration or conflict, may be the most important factor in producing and maintaining the therapeutic alliance. Shame, a social emotion, is considered in the light of work done in sociology, psychology, neuroscience, and psychoanalysis. Future directions for clinical research are suggested.     

Coping with Guilt and Shame After Gambling Loss

In this study we examined the relations between guilt and shame and coping strategies in response to gambling loss. Based on H.B. Lewis’s (Shame & guilt in neurosis. New York: International Universities Press, 1971) account of guilt and shame, we proposed that unlike guilt, the experience of shame involves the attribution of gambling loss to stable and global internal factors (i.e., self-devaluation). We hypothesized that problem gambling severity would be more strongly associated with the intensity of shame than with the intensity of guilt following gambling loss. Further, we hypothesized that the intensity of shame would be positively associated with the use of avoidant coping strategies following gambling loss. Finally, we hypothesized that the intensity of shame would mediate the association between problem gambling severity and the use of avoidant coping. These hypotheses were supported by a retrospective survey of recent gambling losses. Our finding suggests that the experience of shame and the use of avoidant coping strategies to deal with this emotion are central to problem gambling severity.     

Psychodynamic Issues in the Treatment of Binge Eating: Working with Shame,Secrets, No-Entry,and False Body Defenses

Two clinical moments from patients in treatment for Binge Eating Disorder (DSM 5) are described where a manifest problem with body image difficulty was initially denied. Each patient entered treatment with the desire to lose weight as well as gain a fuller understanding of self and mastery over addictive eating patterns that caused considerable psychological anguish. An integrated treatment matrix of practical, contemporary psychodynamic interventions and more behavioral, experiential and supportive tools allowed each patient to uncover and work through heretofore split off aspects of their bodily selves. Defense mechanisms such as ‘no entry’ fantasies and ‘the false body’ that have recently been described in the analytic literature are applied in formulating each case example. The author underscores how therapists must probe for secrets in the personal and family history that are ‘hidden, but in plain view’ and pursue them in order for the patient to embrace a more coherent, true sense of her/his bodily self. These secrets often contain a less conscious rationale for treating the body poorly and perpetuating hated, shameful and derogatory aspects of body image that may become externalized onto the therapist. These externalizations can further complicate countertransference reactions that must be acknowledged and worked through by the therapist in personal or self-analysis.     

The Use Of Shame and Dread in the Countertransference

Much has been written about paranoid anxieties as these occur in the patient. Less, however, has been written about primitive experiences as these occur in the therapist during the session. This paper recounts a patient's correct articulation of the therapist's self-perception, which, because of its accuracy, initially flooded the therapist with shame and dread. Nonetheless, the patient's perception was able to be used in a way that clarified, in the countertransferance, a piece of the patient's early experience in relation to her mother and strengthened the therapeutic relationship.     

Exploring the Concepts of Recognition and Shame for Social Work

Recognition and shame are both concepts that potentially offer social workers a structure to build practice on; two states experienced by both social workers and service users. ‘Recognition’, within social, political and economic thought, has been established as a field in which inequality and exclusion can be analysed. Social work theorists have also made inroads into exploring its reach. ‘Shame’ in twentieth century and contemporary sociological and psychoanalytical accounts, is understood as a force in limiting human agency, well-being and capacity This paper briefly outlines some of the defining ideas in circulation in relation to recognition and shame, and then briefly considers how psychoanalytical and contemporary social structural analysis builds on this, making links to contemporary social work thinking throughout. The paper also specifically considers some of the uses of recognition and shame for thinking about social worker and service user ‘well-being’, and the connections, through both the relational and the socio-political, which inflect social work practice.     

Shame and the Social Bond: A Sociological Theory

Emotion has long been recognized in sociology as crucially important, but most references to it are generalized and vague. In this essay, I nominate shame, specifically, as the premier social emotion. First I review the individualized treatment of shame in psychoanalysis and psychology, and the absence of social context. Then I consider the contributions to the social dimensions of shame by six sociologists (Georg Simmel, Charles Cooley, Norbert Elias, Richard Sennett, Helen Lynd, Erving Goffman) and a psychologist/psychoanalyst (Helen Lewis). I show that Cooley and Lynd, particularly, made contributions to a theory of shame and the social bond. Lewis's idea that shame arises from threats to the bond integrates the contributions of all six sociologists, and points toward future research on emotion, conflict, and alienation/integration.     

Emotion Work,Shame, and Post-Soviet Women Entrepreneurs: Negotiating Ideals of Gender and Labor in a Global Economy

Drawing on ethnographic research among Russian women traders or “shuttle traders” (chelnoki), I examine discourses on shame as a type of emotion work and consider links to ideal gender roles among Russian women entrepreneurs. In a post-Soviet era increasingly shaped by transnational mobility, as well as by a persistent legacy of Soviet sensibilities, a focus on emotion among women traders provides an ideal lens for considering what travels between eras marked by distinct ideologies, between nation-states, and between public and domestic spaces. A discourse of shame links Soviet sensibilities of proper labor and contemporary gender sensibilities that continue to elevate men as breadwinners; thus, a focus on shame enables us to see the contradictory ways in which women are positioned in local and global economies in the 2000s. This case shows how Russian women's insertion into the global economy beginning in the early 1990s has required emotion work that is similar to that required in other locations where global capitalism has brought about reconfigurations of work lives and required people to renegotiate gender roles, expressions of power, and the meaning of labor in their lives.     

Shame, Embarrassment, and Formal Sanction Threats: Extending the Deterrence/Rational Choice Model to Academic Dishonesty

Following the lead of Grasmick and Bursik (1990), we propose that significant others and conscience both function as agents of social control to deter illicit behavior in a manner similar to that provided by the law and more formal, bureaucratic organizations. All three–conscience, significant others, and formal organizations–entail potential threats and costs (i.e., shame, embarrassment, and formal sanctions). Actors consider these potential threats and costs, and assess the certainty and severity of them, in deciding whether or not to engage in criminal or deviant behavior. In the research reported here, data from a sample of undergraduate students are employed to examine the effects of perceived certainty and severity of shame, embarrassment, and formal sanction threats of the self-reported prevalence of involvement in a variety of forms of academic dishonesty. The results suggest rather limited support for the deterrence/rational choice model, nearly all of which is due to the influence of conscience (shame).