“We’re Just Family,You Know?” Exploring the Discourses of Family in Gay Parents’ Relational Talk

ABSTRACT

To date, little is known about how gay male parents discursively create and sustain family identity and how they position themselves in relation to the dominant heteronormative discourses of the traditional family. Framed relational dialectics theory – this study explored the meaning(s) of family and fatherhood in married gay fathers’ relational talk. I interviewed 13 married gay parent dyads and conducted follow-up interviews to collect data across time as well as member check initial results. Using contrapuntal analysis, I identified the discourses of traditional family structure and nontraditional family structure at play. I argue that the couples’ talk reflected discursive struggles to generate relational meanings for their family identities.     

The Discourse of Dress and Appearance: Identity Talk and a Rhetoric of Review

This article examines how identities are constructed and maintained via talk about personal dress and appearance. In this article, we introduce the concept of rhetoric of review, which is defined as the taken-for-granted rules that guide the evaluations of the appearances of self and others. Three basic components of a rhetoric of review are identified: moral precepts, program neutralizations, and review neutralizations. Data were derived from eight in-depth interviews with eighteen sorority members from a single university in the Southeastern United States. These data were used to expand Stone's (1962) conceptual framework of program and review by including Sykes and Matza's (1957) neutralization techniques. The purpose of this article is to bridge the interactionist perspectives on appearance and identity talk so as to augment our understanding of the discourse of appearance.     

Racialized parenting in the United States

Contrary to anti-black, cultural deficit logics that frame Black parenting as tied to the reproduction of social disadvantage, research shows that Black parents, and other parents of color, are agentic as they parent in direct response to the dominant racial order of the United States. In this paper, I review this scholarship and primarily focus on how Black parents approach raising children in the racialized worlds that they live in. To mitigate the disadvantages caused by racism, Black parents use various intentional racialized parenting approaches to instill in their children a resilience to a racist social world. The strategies used to cultivate resilience to racism exist in varied social and institutional contexts, and intertwine with how parents understand race, class, and identity. Laborious racialized parenting techniques do not solely matter at the micro-level as such practices are unevenly recognized by white-dominant social institutions. This uneven dynamic indicates how hegemonic norms of American parenting culture fit within a project of racial neoliberalism. Consequently, Black parents are structurally pushed to burden more responsibility to prepare their children to survive a deeply racist and hyper-competitive social world with no guarantee that such intensive, strategic parenting will be rewarded.     

Prioritizing parental autonomy: Adult children's accounts of feeling responsible and supporting aging parents

Adult children's accounts of responsibility for aging parents were explored using data from multiple, in-person, semi-structured qualitative interviews with 28 participants in Victoria, Canada. An emphasis on respecting parental autonomy and individual responsibility was present in varying forms. Controlling or bossy behaviour was often criticized in others. For some adult children, protecting this ideal made it difficult to talk about feeling responsible for their parents; others defined it as part of their filial responsibility. These findings illustrate how adult children actively employ a framework of individualism in the praxis of parent support, in order to set limits on care provision as well as cope with guilt and helplessness (e.g., arising from parents' active attempts to exert their own agency). Findings are discussed in relation to the broader level structural–cultural tension between filial responsibility and individualism.     

Gendered forms of responsibility and control in teenagers' views of alcohol

There has been a shift in the most recent UK Government's Alcohol Strategy (2012) from personal responsibility towards a model of shared responsibility for young people's drinking. On closer examination of the strategy, however, it appears that rather than exonerating young people from blame, governance is merely extended to include wider partners. Using findings from nine focus groups with young people in Liverpool, UK, we explore who they believe are responsible for their drinking behaviours and how they learn to become ‘good drinkers’. Our findings show that while teenagers were aware of dominant alcohol-related messages and maintained a moral position as responsible citizens; they also negotiated and resisted norms about teenage drinking. Although both boys and girls agreed that parents were the primary responsible authority for regulating their drinking, there was gendered disagreement about personal responsibility. The girls described how they were ultimately responsible for any adverse consequences if they drank too much whilst the boys considered a wide range of partners who would be implicated. However, unlike the girls, the boys described a willingness to either abstain or moderate their alcohol intake in order to remain in control and avoid any alcohol-related trouble or harm.     

Fighting Words: What We Can Learn from Hitler's Hyperbole

The question of why human beings fight wars continues to stalk modern thought. This article treats Hitler's national socialist discourse as an extreme example of the social construction of a social problem, a cultural paradigm of how to talk people into fighting revolutions and wars. Drawing upon recent work in rhetorical studies by Gusfield and others, I show how political agents concoct a rhetoric of motives which they use to incite their followers to fight their enemies. The formal and poetic features of this system of discourse are identified and explicated. We can learn many things from Hitler. By identifying his technique, we can recognize when political agents are using the same technique and counter its seductive effects. We learn that the main effect of war rhetoric is social integration through the constitution of common enemies. And finally, we realize that wars are made to happen through the calculated use of symbolic practices. War is not, as many have argued, a fall into a latent animality, but an expression of our symbol-mindedness–our capacity to make and use hyperboles.     

Home(land) Décor: China Adoptive Parents’ Consumption of Chinese Cultural Objects for Display in their Homes

American parents of children adopted from China frequently consume Chinese cultural objects for display in their homes. While parents defend this consumption for display as an effort to validate their children’s ethno-cultural origins, they also reveal how it signifies and solidifies their own identifications with Chinese culture. As part of a larger research project examining China adoptive parents’ evolving “Chinese” identities, this paper asks: Which parents “become ‘Chinese’” through the consumption and display of Chinese cultural objects, and why? To answer this question, I conducted semi-structured in-depth interviews with 91 Americans in the China adoption process and ethnographic fieldwork at two different field-sites: Families with Children from China (FCC) Chinese cultural celebrations and Chinese culture camps organized by/for China adoptive families. Focusing on the emergent and personal meanings that parents give to Chinese cultural objects, I demonstrate how these meanings both structure parents’ consumption and yield a display differential. In doing so, I reveal that white European-American parents and mothers are most likely to engage in this consumption and display, thereby amending the three types of ethno-cultural identity consumption represented in the literature. Specifically, I expose the central role of race in ethno-cultural identity consumption; demonstrate that the collective category of reference for ethno-cultural identity consumption is not always an ethnic category (in this case, such consumption refers to a gendered category); and illustrate the ways in which global ethno-cultural identity consumption both appeals to and satisfies distinctly local constructs.     

Communication of the Decision to Divorce: A Retrospective Qualitative Study

Parents' ability to effectively communicate the decision to divorce can assist children in positively adjusting to this major life change. Using written responses to open-ended questions, this study investigated how 30 adult children of divorced parents recalled and evaluated the nature of their parents' communication of the divorce decision. A thematic analysis of the participants' responses identified salient themes that might assist divorcing parents in communicating the decision to their children. These themes included breaking the news together, avoiding negative talk about the other spouse, taking responsibility for the decision to divorce, leaving out details in the explanation, and inviting questions.     

Managing the Student‐Parent Dilemma: Mothers and Fathers in Higher Education

In this article, I explore how student‐parents draw on cultural discourses associated with parenthood and education when talking about their child care choices and schooling experiences. Unlike many other studies, I include the voices of both fathers and mothers. College students have extraordinary demands on their time, and their instructors do not generally expect them to be parents. Some students feel that in fact they are expected to be bad parents, bad students, or both. The use of accounts allows student‐parents to assert they are good parents even as they spend less time with their children and make their schoolwork a priority some of the time. As they modify their understandings of their capabilities as parents and students in this setting, they come to see themselves differently. They potentially change others' understandings of what good parents and good students are as well. Both the parent identity and the student identity change in the context of the university.     

EXERCISING OPTIONS:

Based on a qualitative analysis of the narratives of thirty-four women, this article explores health and beauty rhetoric in accounts of aerobic fitness classes. It confirms that aerobics exacerbates body hatred but goes further to illustrate how commitment is sustained by holistic rather than technical idealizations of female beauty. Avoiding association with the narrow beauty programs associated with traditional femininity holistic health discourse offers the hope of achieving a natural balance of mental, bodily, and spiritual well-being. The women are thus able to maintain possession of a "liberated" female self by grounding efforts in the action of taking personal responsibility for holistic health rather than in the patriarchal goal of pursuing rigidly defined beauty standards.     

Discursive Struggles Animating Individuals’ Talk About Their Parents’ Coming Out as Lesbian or Gay

The goal in the present study was to understand the discourses that animate children’s talk about having a parent come out and how these discourses interplay to create meaning. Data were gathered through 20 in-depth interviews with adults who remembered a parent coming out to them as lesbian or gay. One discursive struggle animated the participants’ talk about their parents’ coming out: the discourse of lesbian and gay identity as wrong vs. the discourse of lesbian and gay identity as acceptable. Analysis of participants’ talk about their familial identities revealed a range of avenues for resisting the negative discourses regarding lesbian and gay identities. The findings highlight discursive power in participants’ talk about their familial identities and how participants organize the conflicting messages they receive in their culture and in relationships regarding family identities.     

The Unlived Life Is Worth Examining: Nothings and Nobodies behind the Scenes

This paper explores how people talk about the things that have not happened in their lives. I argue that we can perform reverse biographical identity work upon our unmade selves by exploring the meanings of unlived, non-experience. Challenging one's own rehearsed life story is an act of narrative self-transgression, involving negative responsibility assumption. Drawing on my symbolic interactionist theory of “nothing,” I consider how negative social phenomena (no-things, no-bodies, and non-events) are interactively accomplished and retrospectively made sense of in personal accounts. Themes of lost opportunities, silence, invisibility, and emptiness emerge from an analysis of twenty-seven stories. These tales reveal a mixture of emotions: not only sadness, stigma, shame, and regret, but also relief, pride, acceptance, and gratitude. Narratives of nothing are often ambivalent in tone, reflecting the complexity of storied life behind the scenes.     

Discourses of service user involvement in meeting places in Norwegian community mental health care: a discourse analysis of staff accounts

In previous research, meeting places have been favourably addressed by service users, but they have also been contested as exclusionary. In this participatory explorative study, we sought to perform a contextual analysis of meeting places in Norway based on a discourse analysis of three focus group discussions with 15 staff members. We asked the following question: how do meeting-place employees discuss their concrete and abstract encounters with service users and their experiences? We focused on service user involvement, which was largely analysed as neoliberal consultation and responsibilisation. Service users were positioned as resisting responsibility trickling down and defending staffed meeting places. Social democratic discourse was identified in the gaps of neoliberal discourse, which is noteworthy given that Norway is a social democracy. This relates to global concerns about displacements of democracy. We suggest that meeting places appear to hold the potential for staff and service users to collaborate more democratically.     

Using the Tool-Kit of Discourse in the Activity of Learning and Teaching

Teaching and learning are largely conducted through talk, yet the relationship between the talk and the activity goals it is intended to achieve is rarely problematized or treated as a matter for conscious choice. In this paper, I describe a tool for the analysis of classroom talk, developed in the context of teacher-researcher collaboration, which draws upon activity theory and systemic linguistics. Three main units of analysis are proposed: episodes of talk, which are the chief interactional means by which actions are operationalized; the sequences from which such episodes are constructed; and, minimally, the moves through which each sequence is negotiated. The concept of mini-genre is then used to distinguish different patterns of sequential organization. In the second part of the paper, I contrast episodes from two different activities, showing how different choices of follow-up moves create significantly different kinds of opportunity for student engagement and learning. In conclusion, I suggest that, by recording and analyzing episodes of talk from their classrooms, teachers can become conscious of the options they select; then, if they see fit, they can, by changing the discursive operations deployed, bring about a change in the activities themselves and so change the nature of the classroom community.     

Coming Out as “We 3”

Abstract

Using an academic letter format, I use a blended-method-ological approach of personal ethnography and qualitative case study to assess the three-partner, gay male relationship and the role of parental support. In working to understand better the relational “We 3,” I first provide an account of my relational experience with two other men. I discuss the process of our coming together and then make a methodological turn to provide insights from both e-mail and face-to-face interviews with one set of parents who have supported their gay son in his three-partner relationship. As I, personally, have not had an in-depth conversation with my own parents regarding this issue, I use the parental case study to bridge an academic conversation regarding the negotiation of what might be termed a second or relational coming out process with parents. Finally, I discuss how insights from the first, personal coming out process provided the parents with tools to keep the conversation going and to support their son's relational coming out as a “We 3.”     

Organizational “Emotion Work” Through Consciousness-Raising: An Analysis of a Feminist Organization

In this article I explore how organizational processes link to certain emotional responses, as a way of investigating more fully the role emotions play in social movements. Through the construction of a case study of a feminist group, the New York City chapter of the National Organization for Women (NYC NOW), I analyze how certain emotions, such as anger, alienation, hopelessness and frustration, are redefined within an organizational context. I find that consciousness-raising serves as the organizational process that helps transform personal emotions into a collectively defined sense of injustice. This transformation has the potential of creating actors dedicated to chapter activism.     

A Therapist’s Mandate?: Integrating an Ethics of Care into Custody Law by Recognising and Responding to Post‐separation Parental Loss of Connection with Children

In 1999 Smart and Neale published their seminal book Family Fragments, arguing for the replacement of the ethics of justice that currently informs custody law and practice with an ethics of care. Recognising loss is one of four principles they identify as being key to care‐based processes for managing post‐separation parenting arrangements. Here they had in mind the non‐resident fathers in their study, who were often anxious, angry, and resentful about their diminished fatherhood. Yet gender‐neutral custody laws and the greater prominence given to shared care across the West means that increasing numbers of separated mothers are also experiencing diminished connections to their children, either by becoming non‐resident parents or through shared care arrangements. Research into post‐separation fathers’ and mothers’ experiences of loss and grief in relation to their children is sparse and largely consists of small‐scale qualitative studies focusing either on fathers or mothers. Nonetheless, these studies show that the grief talk of post‐separated parents is strikingly similar, except that mothers who become non‐resident parents commonly talk about a sense of stigma and shame, while fathers are more likely than mothers to resort to the language of anger and rights. Despite Smart and Neale's call roughly 20 years ago, custody law systems across the West continue to neglect parents’ need for recognition and support. This paper seeks to rectify this social neglect through describing a dual program of therapeutically informed interventions with separated mothers and fathers. This is designed to recognise and respond to parental loss and grief experiences, whilst simultaneously fostering personal self‐reflexivity and transformation. The latter is no easy task but is frequently an essential basis for workable co‐parenting post‐separation.     

Case history discourse: a rhetoric of troublesome youngsters and faceless treatment

In numerous social control settings, staff routinely write case histories on clients to assist colleagues and authorities in treatment decisions. In this article, we examine how such institutional writing constructs ‘working versions’ of youngsters, portraying their objects of care as personally troublesome. Simultaneously, the institution is portrayed as facelessly, uniformly and collectively remedying their behaviour. Using material from a centre for juvenile delinquents in Sweden, we analyse three discursive techniques that accomplish this documentary reality: (1) trouble zooming, (2) mood notes and (3) deflecting staff agency. We also reflect on the social conditions for the recurrent rhetoric.     

Desirable Difference: The Shadow of Racial Stereotypes in Creating Transracial Families through Transnational Adoption

The article analyzes how parents decide to adopt a child transnationally by detailing how the meaning of race is articulated in the formation of family. Drawing from my interviews with adoptive parents, I examine how they internalize ideas about different racial groups. For example, I investigate how what they have learned from the adoption agencies, their own perceptions of racial stereotypes, and their perceptions of the communities in which they reside influence their understanding of race. The article suggests that adoptive parents, when considering whether to adopt children from the U.S. or overseas, use a criteria dictated by racial stereotypes in understanding Asian Americans as the model minority, African-Americans as a deficient group, and Latinos occupying an intermediary position.