Communicating with parents

It is difficult to help a child whose parents are unavailable to the professional working with the child. Parents whose children have problems tend to be fearful of being judged and criticized. Anger or expressions of guilt may mask their fears about their own inadequacies and problems. All parents need to be listened to and understood before professionals can help the children. Communicating this understanding to the parents requires more than works. Listening, enabling parents to talk and talking with parents often needs to be supplemented by actions concrete services and even by play to enable the parents to trust enough to want to learn how to be better parents. Foster parents must also be drawn into a cooperative effort to help children in their care.This is an excerpt from the bookWork With Children to be published by Human Sciences Press in February 1979. This selection deals with communicating with parents, for until that is accomplished, there is no chance to communicate with children.     

“Why Don’t You Just Tell Me How You Feel?”: A Case Study of a Young Mother in an Attachment-Based Group Intervention

This paper describes an attachment-based parenting intervention, the Circle of Security, and presents a case study of one participant’s experience as a member of it. The Circle of Security is a group intervention for parents of young children ages 1–5 that teaches parents to recognize and respond to their children’s alternating needs for attachment and exploration. The intervention content in group sessions relies to a great extent on discussions of videotaped vignettes of each parent–child dyad. Ultimately, the intervention focuses on strengthening parents’ capacities for empathic responsiveness to their children’s needs for them. In the second part of the paper, the case study illustrates one mother’s experience in a Circle of Security group designed for parents involved with the child welfare system as a result of substantiated maltreatment. Observations of this parent indicate that her capacity for empathic understanding was greatly strengthened, which appears to be related to important behavior change.     

Working systemically following abuse: exploring safe uncertainty

This paper explores systemic practice and ‘safe uncertainty’ in work with parents who do not accept responsibility following child abuse. The prevailing view has been that little positive work can be carried out with families where responsibility is denied. Our work is offered to add to the small yet growing number of publications which challenge the dominant discourse relating to child protection work. A case study is illustrated within which the issue of assessment versus therapy emerges. The Legal Department of the Local Authority Social Services requested an assessment from child and family psychiatry. Concern developed regarding the point at which assessment ended and therapy began. The authors offer a systemic model in exploring the importance of a safe multi‐disciplinary framework within which uncertainty can be tolerated and therapy/change work can be affected. A framework within which parents can be supported in developing skills to meet the needs of children is presented. These issues are central to the professional and legal systems relating to child protection in the UK. Copyright © 1999 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Power and Child Protection: The Need for a Child Welfare Service Users' Union or Association

Abstract

This paper reports a study in which parents who had received child protection intervention set out to develop a “Service Users' Guide” to help parents newly receiving intervention better understand and cope with the process. The study took place in Ontario, Canada between 2004–2009. Ninety-five parents took part in 13 focus groups and 20 individual interviews. A mix of Participatory Action and grounded theory methods were used to enable parents to develop their service uses guide. As the study progressed it quickly became evident that the biggest issue parents face when receiving intervention is an imbalance in power between themselves and workers. This paper describes the problems this power imbalance causes for parents and presents a potential solution suggested by parents themselves – the development of a child welfare service users' association or union. Parent's ideas about why this association is needed, how it could function, and the benefits it might bring, are discussed. The paper concludes by reviewing the benefits a service users' association might bring not only for those receiving child welfare intervention, but all social work services.     

Family Involvement in the Residential Treatment of Children: A Systemic Perspective

When children are placed in residential treatment, a number of underlying messages are often conveyed: the child is the problem, the child's parents are the problem, and the treatment centre has the answers. Consequently children may feel rejected and parents may feel blamed. These views reflect lineal perspectives which have not been adequately addressed in the literature on residential treatment. The aim of residential treatment is to change the child's behaviour in ways which parents are unable to achieve at home. This paper proposes that the child who is placed in residential care may be caught between the parents and the treatment setting: if the child positively responds to treatment, parents could easily feel inadequate or incompetent, a dynamic which is obviously counter productive to successful treatment. The paper argues from Milan and other systemic views, that family and treatment systems be taken into consideration in planning treatment strategies.     

Parental denigration reports across parent–child dyads: Divorced parents underreport denigration behaviors compared to children

Abstract

Parental denigration is a phenomenon characterized by disparaging comments made by one parent about the other parent, in front of their children. It is an emerging area of research with implications that appear to follow from a conflict perspective, rather than a parental alienation perspective. In three prior studies of young adults, sibling pairs, and parents, denigration was found to be (a) measured reliably and validly, (b) reciprocally occurring, (c) related to children feeling more distant from both parents, particularly the more frequent denigrator, (d) associated with various measures of maladjustment, and (e) underreported by divorced parents. These results held across marital status and parent gender, in group and individual analyses, across sibling reports, and across studies. In the current study, parent reports of co-parent denigration behaviors were similar to child reports in both married and divorced families. However, divorced parents consistently underreported their own denigration behaviors compared to child reports, and their reports of parent–child closeness and attachment was not associated with child reports. This is consistent with findings from previous work that divorced parents may be less aware of their harmful behaviors and view co-parents in a globally more negative light than children perceive them.     

Better practices in parent engagement: lessons from the USA and England

This paper undertakes an international comparison of parent engagement in the USA and England. Research from both countries is reviewed to establish the extent to which parent engagement is achieving the benefit of an improved fit between need and services and what, if any, differences exist between the experiences of parents in the USA and England. Despite some unique differences, research from both countries identifies similar experiences among parents. Those studies indicate that parent engagement is not yet contributing to the provision of services that are more timely, appropriate, or adequate in meeting parent need. The barriers to achieving a better fit between needs and services are explored and system-wide issues that limit the effectiveness of engagement with parents are discussed. The paper presents the Munro Review of Child Protection in England as a catalyst for change in improving the child welfare system's approach to parent engagement and establishing a better fit between needs and services. Consideration of the applicability of the Munro Review findings to the USA child welfare system or replication of such a review is proposed.     

The child as project and the child as being: parents' ideas as frames of reference

SUMMARY: This article discusses the implicit psychological theories of parents, viewed as being related to the culture and analysable in term of ideology and world view. In a study in Sweden, parents of four year old children were interviewed concerning their ideas of child development Contrasting images of the child could be seen, sometimes co-existing in one and the same person. It is argued that parents adopt contrasting ideas of child as a means of dealing with conflicting demands of parenthood - creating a free zone for individuality while helping one's child adapt to the environment.     

High Hopes but Even Higher Expectations: The Retreat From Marriage Among Low‐Income Couples

This study examines why low‐income, unmarried parents who say that they plan to marry at the time their child is born do not follow through on their plans. We use data from a nationally representative birth cohort survey—the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study (N =3,710)—combined with data from an embedded qualitative study—Time, Love, Cash, Caring, and Children (n =47)—to explore the reasons behind this apparent discrepancy. We find that some of the difference between parents’ expectations and behavior may be because of the overstatement of intentions at the time of the birth. Most of the discrepancy, however, results from parents’ perceived social and economic barriers to marriage. Specifically, unmarried parents have a long list of financial and relationship prerequisites they believe must be met in order for them to wed. Combined with other factors, these standards lead to an indeterminate delay in marriage.     

Children's Challenges to Efforts to Save Them: Competing Knowledges in the Child Welfare System

The child welfare system is founded on a belief that children are sometimes endangered by their parents or caregivers and must be saved by agents of the state. Children are perceived as objects to be saved, but they are rarely seen as active strategists in their interactions with child welfare system social workers. Using ethnographic data collected during observations of social workers and juvenile court proceedings, this article shows how children have their own complex understandings of state intervention and strive—to varying degrees of success—to contest official views of their lives and provide competing forms of knowledge. Specifically, children attempt to rework state actors' perceptions of their families and familial problems, use state actors as an audience for their versions of their lives, and attempt to mobilize state power for personal or material gain.     

The gift of speech: why parents implant their children

In Australia cochlear implantation of profoundly deaf infants, babies, and young children is approaching 100% saturation. Why do parents choose to implant rather than learn Auslan? What is the Deaf community’s reaction to this and how will it change Sign as a living language? In this article, the author is a Deaf parent who chose to implant her Deaf child. When she initially published in a news outlet on this topic the reaction was quite heated: how terrible a parent you must be if you are denying your child Sign! This article explains the reasoning behind that decision to implant, taking issue with the notion that giving a child an ‘extra ability’ of speech means that you do not love them as they are. Nothing is natural, but everything is acquired or augmented – in all children.     

Child support wage withholding and father–child contact: parental bargaining and salience effects

Past research on child support finds that father–child contact increases as support payments increase. Enforcement policies such as wage withholding also may affect father–child contact even when the amount of support paid is not affected if they change bargaining power between parents or the salience of fathers’ child support obligations. I develop a model of the salience of child support obligations which predicts that introduction of automatic withholding will reduce contact between noncustodial parents and children independent of payment amount. I then examine whether paying child support via wage withholding affects fathers’ frequency of contact with their children and their provision of in-kind support using instrumental variables and bounded OLS techniques for selection on unobservables. Withholding appears to decrease father–child contact. Withholding effects do not occur when payments are made to government agencies or courts but are present when payments go directly to the mother, consistent with bargaining models. More frequent payment schedules are associated with more contact, consistent with salience effects.     

The family culture of negotiation—a result of changing parent‐child relationships

Case studies of parent‐child relations in three different European regions—West Germany, East Germany and the Netherlands—offer material for the comparative analysis of the ongoing intra‐familial process of modernization and civilization in post‐war West European societies. The data are drawn from extended narrative interviews with twelve‐year‐olds and from parallel but separate semi‐structured ‘mirrored’ interviews with the same children and their parents. The results of the analysis show that family relations in general, and parent‐child relations in particular, are increasingly marked by a familial ‘culture of negotiation’. This suggests that the balance of intergenerational power relations is currently in the process of change. To a greater or lesser extent, contemporary family relations are characterized by situationally grounded processes of negotiation between parents and children.     

A parent gesture intervention as a means to increase parent declarative pointing and child vocabulary

This study examined whether a brief parent gesture training resulted in a change in the communicative intent of pointing gestures used by parents of infants from age 10–12 months and whether specific types of points (declarative vs. imperative) were more or less likely to predict later child language skill at 18 months. Compared to parents who were randomized to the control group, parents in the intervention group produced significantly more declarative pointing gestures as a result of the intervention. Moreover, parents’ use of declarative points at 12 months was predictive of later child vocabulary comprehension at 18 months. These findings suggest that a short-term parent training can have important effects on the communicative intentions conveyed through gesture which predict vocabulary development.     

Near and Far

In this paper we distinguish between two measures of contact between children and their non-residential fathers: whether or not the children have seen their father in the previous year, and how many weeks the children stayed with their father. The distinction between the two is important because there are many aspects of a parent-child relationship, some of which may be met during shorter contacts, and others which may be nurtured during an extended visit at the father's house. Using data from the 1987-88 National Survey of Families and Households we find that having a legal agreement regarding joint custody is positively related to the number of weeks that a child stays with his/her father. Children are more likely to see their fathers if there is a legal child support agreement and the father pays child support, which indicates that paying child support and seeing the child are complementary activities. This pattern is reversed for the number of weeks the child stays with the father, which gives support to the hypothesis that non-residential fathers substitute one activity for another. This research highlights the need for careful consideration of different measurements of contact between non-residential parents and children in order to understand more fully the dynamics of families following divorce.     

Management of Night-Waking in Young Children

Regular waking at night is one of the most common problems encountered by parents of young children. In a family counselling programme in Auckland, a night-waking programme has been used with 208 children referred during a two year period. The programme involved organized bed-time routines, procedures for settling the child and non-reward of crying, calling out and getting out of bed. Programme introduction was followed by daily phone calls to parents in which appropriate parent behaviours were prompted and reinforced. Further face to face sessions were held after one week and then if needed. Parent reports show high rates of parent implementation of procedures and rapid change of child sleep behaviour with improvements being maintained at follow up. In a survey of 48 of the parents, positive changes in the daytime behaviour of children were reported as coinciding with improved sleep habits. Also there was an absence of negative side effects, and generally, parent satisfaction with the programme was high.     

Parenting groups for parents whose children are in care

Excluding very severe child abuse cases, biological parents are usually encouraged to maintain contact with their children in care. Parent‐child contact is often considered important because it can maintain the child's psychological identity and well‐being. It can also maintain parent‐child attachment and in some cases facilitate reunification. Improving parenting skills is viewed as an important method by which contact between children and their biological parents can be enhanced. However, mainstream parenting groups are often unsuitable for parents whose children are in care for a number of reasons. There is stigma involved with having children in care, such parents have very complex lives and there are reduced opportunities to practise skills learnt with their children. Groups designed specifically for parents whose children are in care appear to be a promising approach to improving the quality of contact between these parents and their children. This paper will review group‐based approaches to working with biological parents whose pre‐school‐aged children have been placed in care. The paper will also report the findings of a research project designed to identify key facilitators and barriers to parental involvement in a group‐based programme which includes contact between parents and their children who have been placed in care. Copyright © 2009 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.     

Child Sexual Abuse Evaluations: Adherence to Recommendations

ABSTRACT

Sixty-eight parents of children with alleged child sexual abuse (CSA) were surveyed 4 months after visiting an interdisciplinary CSA evaluation clinic in order to examine the extent to which recommendations were recalled and implemented. Of those parents for whom specific recommendations were provided, 9% recalled recommendations for medical follow-up, 79% recalled recommendations for child therapy, and 43% recalled recommendations for parental therapy. Families were more likely to receive and adhere to recommendations when there were behavioral problems and a strong indication of CSA. To improve communication with families, the reasons for recommendations must be clearly conveyed, and possible barriers to implementation should be anticipated and addressed. In addition, recommendations need to be realistic, and professionals need to facilitate the implementation of their treatment plan.     

Different Storks for Different Folks

SUMMARY

When gay and lesbian couples decide to become parents, they are unique as a group in always requiring the involvement of a facilitating other: a donor, surrogate, or (in the case of adopted or foster children) birth parents. This clinical paper explores common psychological and social challenges gay and lesbian couples face when using alternative reproductive technologies to attain parenthood. Between the wish and the actuality of being at home with their baby, gay and lesbian parents travel a long and winding road of choices and chances taken. The parenting partners often consist of one biological and one non-biological parent. Issues of psychological/emotional parenthood as opposed to merely biological parenthood (including assumptions of potential inequality or differential legitimacy) must be reconciled in the minds, couple relationships, family of origin relationships, and friendship support systems of the partners before and after the child's birth. The family must also navigate others' questions and assumptions as they venture ever further beyond their intimate circle and as their growing child forms relationships with peers. Specific guidelines are offered for helping couples surmount these psychosocial challenges.     

The Impact of Parent,Child, and Therapist Mental Representations on Attachment-Based Intervention with Prepubertal Children

Although attachment-based interventions with mothers and infants are beginning to flourish, guidelines for developing attachment-based intervention with prepubertal children are lacking. This article remedies this lack by discussing the potential intervention points of entry with prepubertal children based on attachment theory. In contrast to attachment-based early intervention, in which parental characteristics are targeted, attachment-based intervention with prepubertal children must include the child as well as the parents. Therapists attempting such an intervention must take into account the quality of the child’s mental representation as well as their own quality of mental representation to provide an effective clinical experience.