The Bloom Is on the Rose

Summary

This paper argues for the value of an adult developmental perspective in work with lesbian couples. Focusing on midlife, case examples illustrate issues and situations that create strength and satisfaction, as well as those that create stress and disappointment. Key themes include expansiveness and generativity, differentiation, awareness of past and future, reorganizing priorities, finitude, caregiving stress, infidelity, midlife crisis, self-growth, and the different impact of homophobia on three cohorts of midlife lesbians. Implications for therapeutic intervention are described, with particular emphasis on case formulation and treatment planning that explicitly provides couples with an understanding of the sociohistorical and adult developmental context in which their difficulties arise.     

Relationship Characteristics of American Gay and Lesbian Couples:

A total of 1,749 self-selected gay men and lesbians representing 560 gay couples and 706 lesbian couples were surveyed concerning their relationships. Respondents had been in their relationships an average of 6 years. Findings form 13 topics relevant to relationships underscore the diversity and complicity of same sex couples. Primary attention is given to distinctions between male and female couples and factors correlated with relationship quality.     

WAITING LIST CONTROLLED TRIAL OF COGNITIVE MARITAL THERAPY IN SEVERE MARITAL DISCORD

Forty-one couples with severe marital discord participated in a controlled trial conducted to evaluate whether a form of marital therapy that is designed to enhance marital intimacy through facilitating self-disclosure of personal constructs was effective. The study found that there was no spontaneous remission in marital discord in couples on a 10-week waiting list. Couples subjectively reported improvement as a consequence of participating in marital therapy, and couples in therapy and on the waiting list showed a significant reduction in symptoms of nonpsychotic emotional illness. There was a significant pattern of improvement for wives in the therapy group compared to the waiting list group, but no such effect for the husbands.     

Three Object Relations Models of Couple Treatment

This article describes three different approaches to the treatment of couples, all based on different versions of object relations theories. Object relations as a term has various meanings embodying different theoretical assumptions. It is used differentially to highlight certain aspects of clinical phenomena, to connote certain developmental paradigms, and to signal the importance of real, interactional aspects of human behavior. The three therapeutic approaches to work with couples illustrate some of the ways that the greater conceptual complexity of object relations theories affects how love is explained, couple conflicts defined, and what makes for change in couples treatment. Understanding the basic assumptions of a given theory will enable us to increase our informed consent to the use of theory in our practices.     

Marital Therapy, Retreats, and Books: The Who, What, When, and Why of Relationship Help-Seeking

When doubts creep in and marriages begin to falter, where do couples turn for assistance? In a longitudinal study of 213 couples over the first 5 years of marriage, results indicated relationship help‐seeking was relatively common, with 36% of couples seeking some form of outside help during this period. Individual and relationship difficulties predicted increased use of relationship books and marital therapy in the following year; therefore, these behaviors appear to be important outlets for relationship assistance. In contrast, attending marriage retreats/workshops was related only to demographic variables. Results of the present study suggest that the most common types of relationship help‐seeking by community couples are understudied and likely underutilized in the dissemination of empirically based marital interventions.     

Illness and loss: Helping couples cope

The serious illness or disability of a spouse may constitute a major threat to the marital relationship and lead to disruption in family functioning. This paper presents a developmental framework which addresses some of the unique adjustments these couples face over time. Adaptations which promote optimal marital functioning, the role of the therapist throughout the process, and relevant interventive strategies are highlighted.     

Marital Enqing and Depression in Taiwanese Couples: The Mediating Role of Active and Passive Sacrifice

Using social exchange and identity theory, the authors examined the association between marital enqing and depression in 372 Taiwanese couples, and the mediating effects of active and passive sacrifice on that association. Marital enqing is a unique form of affection toward the partner in Taiwanese couples. Data was analyzed by using the actor-partner interdependence model to test for actor and partner effects among study variables. Results indicated that husbands, who reported more marital enqing, tended to have lower levels of depression. Partner effects revealed that couples’ marital enqing decreased their spouse’s depressive symptoms. Husbands’ sacrifice behaviors mediated the association between his marital enqing and depression. However, Taiwanese wives’ sacrifice behavior did not mediate the association between her marital enqing and depression. Chinese cultural principles indeed impacted how couples in Taiwan conceptualized marital affection differently from couples in western cultures, and it provided insights into its relationships with couples’ sacrifices and relational and individual wellbeing.     

Enrich marital inventory: a discriminant validity and cross-validation assessment

To assess the validity and clinical utility of the marital inventory ENRICH, a discriminant validity study was conducted using a national sample of 5039 married couples. The sample was randomly split in order to form a cross-validation group. ENRICH is a multidimensional scale and two types of analysis were conducted to assess the value of these various scales. Results from discriminant analysis indicated that using either the individual scores or couples' scores, happily married couples could be discriminated from unhappily married couples with 85–95% accuracy. These results were cross-validated with a second sample. Using regression analysis, it was clearly demonstrated that background factors account for little of the variance in discriminating happy from unhappily married couples compared to their relationship dynamics, i.e., scale scores. All ENRICH scales except equalitarian roles proved significant, indicating the validity of a multidimensional inventory.     

A Family Matter

Abstract

The 2004 debate over civil marriage for same-gender couples highlights issues faced by mixed-orientation couples after one of the spouses comes out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The disclosure becomes a family matter as their spouses and children cope with the new information and antigay attitudes. The majority of couples divorce. A minority stays married for three years or more by developing strategies that enhance the relationship, offset outside pressures, and sustain the family circle. Peers provide the most support, while therapists are often unfamiliar with sexual orientation, mixed orientation couples, or societal attitudes that impact families with a gay, lesbian, or bisexual parent. This article provides that information so that professionals can help these couples improve the quality of their lives and develop skills to create a future in which homosexuality, same-gender relationships, and gay parenting are more widely accepted and legalized. This development would decrease the number of mixed-orientation marriages with closeted spouses and increase the potential for both types of families to form lasting marriages and strong family units.     

Signs of Divorce Before Marriage: The Role of Premarital Events in Iran

Premarital relationships form the basis for couples’ future relationships. There are certain factors in couples’ premarital relationships that could play a role in divorce. This study was conducted to investigate the role of premarital events (courtship, engagement, and Nikah [marriage]) in marital conflicts leading to divorce. In this qualitative study, which was carried out in Iran using the phenomenological method, 23 divorced applicants were purposefully selected, and their experiences and perceptions were examined. Data were collected using semistructured interviews. Analysis of interviews showed that little opportunity to get to know each other, neglecting the guidance of family members, disregarding signs of defect in the spouse, starting and continuing the relationship with lies and secrecy, infidelity, financial problems, and eventually ignoring the spouse’s appearance and its underestimation during the courtship period are special factors that predispose couples to divorce; however, couples, due to the special context of their relationships, ignore these factors. The findings of the study include implications for couple therapists, counselors, and couples’ families, and they can be useful in premarital education and postmarital interventions.     

Pathways of Commitment to Wed: The Development and Dissolution of Romantic Relationships

The authors used changes in commitment to wed and reasons for these changes to classify couples into developmental pathways. Using data from a random sample of dating couples (N = 376), they found 4 distinct commitment processes: (a) dramatic, (b) conflict ridden, (c) socially involved, and (d) partner focused. Dramatic commitments were defined by relatively frequent fluctuations in commitment and negative attributions about their relationships. Conflict‐ridden commitments were defined by high levels of conflict and relatively frequent decreases in commitment. Individuals in socially involved commitments reported the highest proportion of positive dyadic attributions and references to joint interaction with social networks. Those in partner‐focused commitments reported a high proportion of positive dyadic attributions and references to interaction with partners. Types also differed on important relational variables, including satisfaction, love, ambivalence, worries about marriage, and leisure. Dramatic commitments were more likely than any other type to break up and showed an increased likelihood of regression in stage of involvement.     

The Role of Friendship,Trust, and Love in Happy German Marriages

The purpose of this qualitative study was to explore the role that friendship, trust, and love played in the courtship and marriages of eleven German heterosexual couples (twenty-two individuals, including three couples of mixed national heritage) who reported their marriages to be happy. A conceptual model is proposed of how the components of friendship, trust, and love (i.e., love experienced as emotion, behavior, and commitment) may form a foundation for happy German marriages. Identified themes inform suggestions for how these findings can be used by educators, practitioners, and clergy to support and strengthen German marriages.     

Children's Perceptions of Families: What Do They Really Think?

The perceptions of 111 New Zealand children from different family structures and cultures were examined. Lone‐parent families, blended families, extended family, non‐residential parents and couples with children were highly endorsed. No great distinctions were made between married and cohabiting couples when the relationship included children. Definitions of family frequently mentioned affective factors. In comparing ethnic groups and family structures some differences were noted, but in general children have many similarities in their family concepts. Comparisons with a recent study of adolescents did not reveal clear‐cut developmental sequences in young people's perceptions. Overall, an inclusive and realistic view of families was expressed. © 2006 The Author(s) Journal compilation © 2006 National Children's Bureau.     

Cohabiting couples: rethinking money in the household at the beginning of the twenty first century

This paper assesses the implications of existing research on the intra‐household economy for current debates about the emergence of new forms of radically democratic intimate relationships in ‘late modern’ or ‘world risk’ society. The different ways in which couples organise money are particularly important in evaluating these debates because as Pahl (1989 , 1997 , 1999 ) argues, money can be seen as a tracer for other aspects of a couples’ lives together, especially the power relationship between them. One of the groups currently thought to be in the vanguard of shifts to new forms of egalitarian and radically democratic intimate relationships are heterosexual cohabiting couples. So far however, there has been little, if any, research on the ways in which cohabiting couples organise money, particularly in Britain. This paper therefore assesses the possible implications of existing research on the intra‐household economy amongst heterosexual couples in the UK and elsewhere, for the ways in which cohabiting couples may possibly be organising household money in Britain today, and what light this sheds on current debates about shifts towards greater equality in new forms of intimate relationships. One of the main questions underlying the discussion concerns the extent to which trends towards individualisation in intimate relationships are coming to be associated with greater sharing and equality in the distribution of financial resources, as Giddens’ (1992 ) thesis would lead us to expect, or whether as Pahl (1999 ) and others ( Jamieson, 1999 ) have suggested, an increasing proportion of couples may now be coming to use individualised or privatised systems of money management which while enhancing individual control over finances, may nevertheless still be associated with the maintenance and reproduction of some very traditional gender inequalities between male and female partners, albeit in a new and apparently impersonal, ‘marketised’ form.     

From Otherness to Alliance

Abstract

The first part of this article presents the epistemological evolution of the therapeutic frameworks regarding the treatment of transgender individuals and their partners. It outlines a medical approach and two others-the developmental approach and the deconstructive approach, ones not based on the conception of transgender identity as pathological. Two case studies of couples presenting with gender identity-related issues illustrate their application with particular emphasis on the relational process of gender identity formation and on partners of transgender-identified persons.     

THE QUEST FOR INTIMACY*

The creation or enhancement of intimacy is a goal that is widely sought in contemporary Western life and in many therapeutic and enrichment programs with couples and families. In this paper, intimate experience is conceptualized within a developmental, or epigenetic, framework of relational systems, viewed from an evolutionary and historical perspective, and considered in the light of hypotheses about gender differences. Intimacy recurs most reliably, not when it is demanded as a primary or continuous experience, but when it emerges spontaneously within a context of basic, well-functioning relational processes.     

Substance abuse

Liddle and Dakof's (1995) comprehensive review of the status of family-based treatment for drug abuse concluded that this modality offered a "promising, but not definitive" approach to treating drug abuse among adolescents and adults. Less than a decade later, significant progress can be seen in the treatment of drug abuse problems using family-based approaches, particularly with adolescents. Family-based treatments are currently recognized as among the most effective approaches for adolescent drug abuse. Family-based treatment of adult drug abuse problems has also advanced in important ways with the recent systematic application and testing of engagement techniques and behavioral couples therapy approaches. The current review characterizes and discusses the developmental status of this subspecialty and outlines areas in which continued research attention is needed.     

‘The house belongs to both’: undoing the gendered division of housework

This article studies 28 dual-income Spanish childless couples who were undoing gender in routine domestic work. We understand ‘undoing gender’ as defined by Deutsch [(2007). Undoing gender. Gender & Society, 21, 106–127, p. 122]: ‘social interactions that reduce gender difference’. The dual-earner couples came from different socio-economic backgrounds and were interviewed in four different Spanish towns in 2011. The analysis shows that resources in a wide sense, time availability, external help, ideas about fairness, and complex gender attitudes are key interdependent factors that can weave together to form different configurations leading to a non-mainstream division of housework. All configurations were based on principles of gender equality: some couples found it fair to have a 50/50 division of domestic work, others a 50/50 division of all work (paid and unpaid); and a third group showed conflicts in practice. These couples’ ways of undoing gender illustrate the external, individual, and couple circumstances under which spouses are able to achieve a non-traditional construction of unpaid work.     

Conceptual Framework for Marriage Education Programs for Stepfamily Couples with Considerations for Socioeconomic Context

Stepfamily couples face unique challenges that put them at higher risk for dissolution than non-stepfamily couples. Risks for stepfamily couples are magnified in the context of lower economic resources, making low-income stepfamily couples a key target population for intervention and for community education programs. Existing programs and services for couples often do not address the unique situations of stepfamilies. This article builds on previous reviews that have offered information on important research themes and assessment of available curricula for stepfamily couples and presents a more comprehensive conceptual model to guide program design and services for stepfamily couples inclusive of specific objectives, as well as conditions and antecedents affecting content and prioritized needs. The goal is to enhance efforts to strengthen more vulnerable couples in complex families.