Older Adults Developing a Preference for Living Apart Together

What is understood about late life partner relationships is largely based on long‐term marriage, with little attention given to understanding the process of forming new partnerships in older adulthood. However, marked growth in cohabitation and greater awareness of living apart together (LAT) suggests a need for further investigation. The purpose of this grounded theory study was to explore how decisions about LAT are made among later‐life men and women. Twenty‐five participants completed life history calendars and semistructured interviews that examined how their current relationships evolved into LAT. Seven contributing factors were identified: relational and personal goals, age, caregiver burden, partner factors, relationship histories, and shifts in social mores. What participants were “doing” during the process of deciding to live apart together was working to resolve their long‐held and often ingrained beliefs about romantic relationships. Three preferences for LAT emerged from this study: opposing, ambivalent, and advocating. Future directions for research are discussed.     

People who live apart together (LATs): new family form or just a stage?

‘Living apart together’ – that is being in an intimate relationship with a partner who lives somewhere else (LAT) – is increasingly recognised and accepted as a specific way of being in a couple. On the face of it, this is a far cry from the ‘traditional’ version of couple relationships, where co-residence in marriage was placed at the centre and where living apart from one's partner would be regarded as abnormal, and understandable only as a reaction to severe external constraints. Some commentators regard living apart together as a historically new family form where partners can pursue a ‘both/and’ solution to partnership – they can experience both couple intimacy, but at the same time maintain personal autonomy and pre-existing commitments. Alternatively, others see LAT as just a ‘stage’ on the way to cohabitation and marriage, where LATs are not radical pioneers moving beyond the family, but are cautious and conservative, and simply show a lack of commitment. Behind these rival interpretations lies the increasingly tarnished spectre of individualisation theory. Is LAT some sort of index for a developing individualisation in practice? We take this debate further by using information from the 2006 British Social Attitudes Survey and from in-depth interviews with LAT partners. We find that LATs do resemble cohabitating (unmarried) couples in demographic and social terms, but also display quite diverse origins and motivations. One group of LATs do not see themselves as couple partners at all, but more as special boy/girlfriends. Others live apart mainly in response to external circumstances. But some LATs do seem to be developing a new way of living in their relationships, as a means of balancing both couple intimacy and personal autonomy over the longer term.     

Living Apart Together and Money: New Partnerships,Traditional Gender Roles

Drawing on qualitative interview data from a sample of 54 men and women engaged in living apart together (LAT) partnerships in Belgium (Flanders), this study explored the organization and exchange of money in LAT arrangements. The data showed that the heterogeneity of LAT partnerships is reflected in couples' monetary behavior, with couples who foresee cohabitation (transitional LATs) showing more marriage‐like exchanges of financial support than those who perceive living apart together as a more permanent arrangement (permanent LATs). The economic position of the partners and the importance attached to economic independence and breadwinning mediate the impact of future expectations on the financial practices of LAT couples. The data also showed that traditional notions of gender and coupledom continue to be strongly influential, even in nontraditional types of partnerships.     

Parents' Partnership Decision Making After Divorce or Widowhood: The Role of (Step)Children

Using data from the Netherlands Kinship Panel Surveys, this study investigated divorced and widowed parents' (N = 350) decision making about living arrangements after repartnering: Twenty‐eight percent lived apart together (LAT) and others lived together (remarried or cohabiting). The focus was on determinants of LAT: Women, older respondents, residents of larger cities, and parents of 2 or more children are more apt to LAT. On the basis of additional qualitative interviews with LAT respondents (n = 25), the reasons for LAT were investigated. Data showed that many children are involved in pure boundary work in an effort to guarantee the continuation of their family. Other (step)children use the sabotage or refusal types of boundary work, not accepting the new partner or excluding a parent from contact, especially with grandchildren. Many of these efforts are successful. To preserve the ties with their children, parents often adapt their decision making about the living arrangements with a new partner accordingly.     

People who live apart together (LATs) – how different are they?

‘Living apart together’– that is being in an intimate relationship with a partner who lives somewhere else – is increasingly recognised and accepted as a specific way of being in a couple. On the face of it, this is a far cry from the ‘traditional’ version of couple relationships, where co‐residence in marriage was placed at the centre and where living apart from one's partner would be regarded as abnormal, and understandable only as a reaction to severe external constraints. Some commentators regard living apart together as a historically new family form where LATs can pursue a ‘both/and’ solution to partnership – they can experience both the intimacy of being in a couple, and at the same time continue with pre‐existing commitments. LATs may even de‐prioritize couple relationships and place more importance on friendship. Alternatively, others see LAT as just a ‘stage’ on the way to cohabitation and marriage, where LATs are not radical pioneers moving beyond the family, but are cautious and conservative, and simply show a lack of commitment. Behind these rival interpretations lies the increasingly tarnished spectre of individualisation theory. Is LAT some sort of index for a developing individualisation in practice? In this paper we take this debate further by using information from the 2006 British Social Attitudes Survey. We find that LATs have quite diverse origins and motivations, and while as a category LATs are often among the more liberal in family matters, as a whole they do not show any marked ‘pioneer’ attitudinal position in the sense of leading a radical new way, especially if age is taken into account.     

Living apart together

Traditionally, marriage has been the social institution for couples that have been together for a long period. Some decades ago a new social institution appeared in the Western world: non-marital cohabitation, although this was slower to be accepted in some countries than in others. Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships, are a new phenomenon which seems to have the potential of becoming the third stage in the process of social change. In contrast to couples in commuting marriages which have one household in common, couples living in LAT relationships have one household each. We discuss some data on the frequency of LAT relationships in Sweden and Norway as well as some varieties of the phenomenon. Our analysis suggests that the existence of cohabitation as a social institution, alongside marriage, is a necessary precondition for LATs to be recognised as a social institution. LAT relationships could not exist unless a preceding social institution of cohabitation also exists.     

Meanings of place and displacement in three groups of older immigrants

Using a theoretical framework that encompasses concepts of space and place, this research addresses meanings of place to three groups of older immigrants living in an inner city. This qualitative research is based on multiple interviews with 211 persons over the age of 50 in three ethnic groups: Latinos, Filipino Americans, and Cambodian Americans. Living conditions were found to be complex and difficult for most respondents, yet living arrangements were also sources of intergenerational family support and long-term, intimate friendships. An examination of meanings of place illustrates how seemingly disparate topics such as social relationships, memory, displacement, the reworking of identity, and the presence of identity politics are interwoven in the lives of these elders, and how people work to ameliorate their sense of displacement while living in problematic living conditions in old age.     

Living Apart Together: Alters- und Kohortenabhängigkeit einer heterogenen Lebensform

Living apart together (LAT) is a committed partnership between two partners living in different households. It is ignored in most social surveys (e. g. the German Mikrozensus) because these focus on partners sharing the same household. The German socio-economic panel (SOEP) provides the unique opportunity to study LAT partnerships separately from singledom and cohabitation since 1992. The current study used this opportunity to test four hypotheses about LAT: LAT increased historically; decreases until the end of the female reproductive period (age 40 years); is thereafter a life form of its own without transition into co-residence; and at all ages is less stable than cohabitation and marriage. The results confirmed all four hypotheses.     

The living arrangements of older immigrants from the former Soviet Union: A comparison of Israel and the United States

With the unprecedented emigration from the former Soviet Union (FSU) during the 1990s as context, this study described the living arrangements of older FSU immigrants living in Israel and the US. Living arrangement choices represented an important strategy for coping with the migration process. Census data from Israel and the US were employed to examine the relationships among living arrangements (independent households, multigenerational households, and extended households) and personal characteristics, including duration of residence, Jewish identity, education, and home ownership. Results showed that the less time older immigrants lived in the host country, the more likely they lived in a multigenerational or extended household. The residency length and household relationship was stronger in Israel than in the US. Also, older FSU immigrants who owned their own home and who lived in a metropolitan area were more likely to live in a complex household than in an independent household. We discussed how the economic and social environments in each country contributed to the variability in living arrangement options among these older immigrants.     

Correlated factors with filial piety expectations of older Koreans and Korean-Americans

ABSTRACT

Changing filial piety expectations have been examined from the viewpoint of younger generations. However, research on older adults’ perspective of this cultural phenomenon is virtually absent from the empirical literature. In an effort to address the changing family life circumstances of Korean and Korean-American families, this study explores older adults’ filial expectations from their own children and correlated factors associated with the expectation. The cross-sectional survey study with 449 older adults found that the majority of respondents still believe that adult children should assume responsibility for the care of their parents. Several factors such as age, education, income, living arrangements, self-rated health, year of immigration, and social support were significantly correlated with filial expectations among older Korean-Americans. Only satisfaction with social support received from family and friends was significantly related to older Koreans’ expectations. Implications for social work practice are discussed and further research directions are suggested.     

Women's agency in living apart together: constraint,strategy and vulnerability

Recent research suggests that women can use living apart together (LAT) for a reflexive and strategic undoing of the gendered norms of cohabitation. In this article we examine this assertion empirically, using a representative survey from Britain in 2011 and follow‐up interviews. First, we find little gender differentiation in practices, expectations, or attitudes about LAT, or reasons for LAT. This does not fit in with ideas of undoing gender. Secondly, in examining how women talk about LAT in relation to gender, we distinguish three groups of ‘constrained’, ‘strategic’ and ‘vulnerable’ female interviewees. All valued the extra space and time that LAT could bring, many welcomed some release from traditional divisions of labour, and some were glad to escape unpleasant situations created by partnership with men. However, for the constrained and vulnerable groups LAT was second best, and any relaxation of gendered norms was seen as incidental and inconsequential to their major aim, or ideal, of the ‘proper family’ with cohabitation and marriage. Rather, their agency in achieving this was limited by more powerful agents, or was a reaction to perceived vulnerability. While the strategic group showed more purposeful behaviour in avoiding male authority, agency remained relational and bonded. Overall we find that women, at least in Britain, seldom use LAT to purposefully or reflexively undo gender. Equally, LAT sometimes involves a reaffirmation of gendered norms. LAT is a multi‐faceted adaption to circumstances where new autonomies can at the same time incorporate old subordinations, and new arrangements can herald conventional family forms.     

Coming together and pulling apart: Exploring the influence of functional status on co-resident relationships in assisted living

Social relationships can have considerable influence on physical and mental well-being in later life, particularly for those in long-term care settings such as assisted living (AL). Research set in AL suggests that other residents are among the most available social contacts and that co-resident relationships can affect life satisfaction, quality of life, and well-being. Functional status is a major factor influencing relationships, yet AL research has not studied in-depth or systematically considered the role it plays in residents' relationships. This study examines the influences of physical and mental function on co-resident relationships in AL and identifies the factors shaping the influence of functional status. We present an analysis of qualitative data collected over a one-year period in two distinct AL settings. Data collection included: participant observation, informal interviews, and formal in-depth interviews with staff, residents, administrators and visitors, as well as surveys with residents. Grounded theory methods guided our data collection and analysis. Our analysis identified the core category, “coming together and pulling apart”, which signifies that functional status is multi-directional, fluid, and operates in different ways in various situations and across time. Key facility- (e.g., admission and retention practices, staff intervention) and resident-level (e.g., personal and situational characteristics) factors shape the influence of functional status on co-resident relationships. Based on our findings, we suggest strategies for promoting positive relationships among residents in AL, including the need to educate staff, families, and residents.     

Living Arrangements During Childrearing Years and Later Health of African American Mothers

Using longitudinal data from the Woodlawn Project (N= 680), this study examined how patterns of living arrangements among a community cohort of African American mothers were associated with later physical and emotional health. We identified eight patterns of stability and transition in living arrangements during the childrearing years. Health outcomes include SF‐36 Physical Functioning, SF‐36 Bodily Pain, depressed mood, and anxious mood. Specific patterns of living arrangements were related to later health, controlling for age, earlier health, education, and poverty. Poverty explained many, but not all, of the relationships between living arrangements and health. Findings underscored the benefits of social support and social integration and highlighted the negative effects of marital dissolution on health.     

The sibling relationship as a housing alternative to institutionalization in later life

The nature of the sibling relationship in middle and later life and the potential of living with a sibling as an alternative to institutionalization when independent living may no longer be possible was assessed using interviews with a random sample of 41 persons 56 to 84 years of age. Forty-nine percent of the respondents had lived with a sibling in adulthood usually for more than one year and over one-half would consider living together again. Men were somewhat more likely to have lived with a sibling in adulthood than were women. When a sibling went to live with another sibling, it was to a sister's home in 90 % of the cases. Almost none had previously considered living with a sibling in later life but ranked living with a sibling second to living in a nursing home and ranked it comparably with living with children. When asked directly their willingness to live with a sibling in later life, respondents were almost equally divided. Age, number of children, educational level, and a feeling of closeness particularly in middle age were found to be moderately correlated with willingness to live with a sibling.Dolores Cabic Borland earned a Ph.D. from Texas Women's University in Sociology and is presently an Associate Professor in Family and Child Ecology at Michigan State University. Dr. Borland's current research interests include middle age and sibling relationships in middle age and later life.This research was supported in part by a grant from the Michigan State University Foundation, Grant # (ORD 26081) and parts were presented at the 1986 National Council on Family Relations Annual Conference. Requests for reprints should be sent to Dolores Cabic Borland, Ph.D., Department of Family and Child Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, Michigan 48824-1030.     

The Meaning of a “Sense of Community” in a Finnish Senior Co-Housing Community

In the foreseeable future, alternative housing options will be needed to meet the needs of and answer to the wishes of older people. Co-housing schemes are developed to fulfill the need for a housing type that provides mutual support and social contacts while alleviating the isolation and loneliness often experienced in ordinary neighborhoods. This study on a senior co-housing community in Finland asked what a “sense of community” meant to the residents and how a sense of community becomes visible in daily life. For these residents, a sense of community meant not only living with like-minded people but also communal activities, doing things together, learning from each other, and having reciprocal support, all of which created a sense of togetherness, belonging, and trust. The findings of this study showed that moving in later life can offer a viable option of having a living environment that one likes, which calls for a broader interpretation of housing policy guided by “aging in place” thinking.     

From attitudes to social networks: National gender-role attitudes and gender differences in late-life social relationships

Studies often find gender differences in social networks in later life, but are these findings universal, or do they differ in various cultural contexts? To address this research gap, the current study examines the association between gender differences in social relationships and country-level gender-role attitudes. We combined data from the Survey of Health, Ageing and Retirement in Europe (SHARE) of individuals aged 50 years and older with country-level data on gender-role attitudes from the European Values Survey (EVS) for 15 European countries. We estimated a series of multivariate hierarchical regression models that predicted the size of the personal social network, its emotional closeness, and the proportion of the spouse, children, and friends in the network. The results indicated gender differences in social network characteristics. Women reported larger social networks and were more likely to have larger proportions of children and friends but smaller proportions of the spouse in their social networks. The magnitude of gender differences was associated with country-level gender-role attitudes. In countries with more egalitarian gender-role attitudes, women had larger networks with a larger proportion of friends compared to men. In countries with more traditional gender-role attitudes, women had larger proportions of their children and spouse in their social networks and had emotionally closer networks. Our findings suggest that the societal context and opportunity structures for social interactions play an important role in shaping the structure of women’s and men’s social relationships in later life.     

Neighborhood conditions and social network turnover among older adults

Increasing research highlights heterogeneity in patterns of social network change, with growing evidence that these patterns are shaped in part by social structure. The role of social and structural neighborhood conditions in the addition and loss of kin and non-kin network members, however, has not been fully considered. In this paper, we argue that the residential neighborhood context can either facilitate or prevent the turnover of core network relationships in later life – a period of the life course characterized by heightened reliance on network ties and vulnerability to neighborhood conditions. Using longitudinal data from the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project linked with data from the American Community Survey, we find that higher levels of neighborhood concentrated disadvantage are associated with the loss of older adults’ kin and non-kin network members over time. Higher levels of perceived neighborhood social interaction, however, are associated with higher rates of adding non-kin network members and lower rates of adding kin network members over time. We suggest that neighborhood conditions, including older adults’ perceptions of neighborhood social life, represent an underexplored influence on kin and non-kin social network dynamics, which could have implications for access to social resources later in the life course.     

Narratives of aging in intimate partner violence: The double lens of violence and old age

PurposeWith the increase in life expectancy, couples living in intimate partner violence are aging together. The aim of this article is to explore the constructions of aging in intimate partner violence as narratives of couplehood or narratives of old age.Design and methodsThirty individual in-depth interviews with 15 older Israeli couples were tape-recorded, transcribed verbatim and analyzed using a narrative approach.ResultsThree main domains emerged from the data: health issue narratives, loneliness narratives and relationships with adult offspring narratives. Each of the narratives that emerged from the data analysis consists of a narrative of old age constructing IPV and a narrative of IPV constructing old age.ImplicationsConflictual couplehood dynamics, such as intimate partner violence in old age, is not one-dimensional, but is diverse and complex and this should be taken into consideration.