Responsive Listening in Long-Married Couples: A Psycholinguistic Perspective

Positive and responsive listening behavior benefits marital satisfaction, but previous reports have examined emotionally positive behavior confounded with responsive behavior, and focused primarily on younger marriages. Psycholinguistic views of listening suggest that responsive listening is distinct from emotionally positive listening. The former may change with an aging relationship, while the latter is unlikely to do so. Long-married couples share extensive common ground about recurrent conflicts, reducing the need for some listening behaviors. We observed 79 younger and older married couples, happily and unhappily married, discussing conflicts. We coded listening behaviors indicative of attention and comprehension (responsiveness) as well as those expressing emotions. We expected that older married couples would display lower frequencies of responsive listening behaviors than middle-aged couples. Results provide conditional support for this hypothesis. Implications for research on marital communication and aging are discussed.     

Relationship quality in long-term marriages: A comparison of high quality and low quality marriages

The purpose of this paper is to examine the relationship dynamics in long-term marriages. Proposive samples of marriage enrichment couples and marital and family therapy client couples married for 40 or more years are compared with regard to level of marital quality. Composite case studies are presented to illustrate differences in marital styles of the two groups. A typology is constructed which identifies relationship dynamics variables that differentiate high quality and low quality marriages.The author would like to express appreciation to Anna L. Cole, M.S., who is a Marital and Family Therapist in private practice in Ames, Iowa, for her helpful comments. This research was supported in part by the Iowa State University Home Economics Research Institute during the writing of this paper.     

A Family Matter

Abstract

The 2004 debate over civil marriage for same-gender couples highlights issues faced by mixed-orientation couples after one of the spouses comes out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The disclosure becomes a family matter as their spouses and children cope with the new information and antigay attitudes. The majority of couples divorce. A minority stays married for three years or more by developing strategies that enhance the relationship, offset outside pressures, and sustain the family circle. Peers provide the most support, while therapists are often unfamiliar with sexual orientation, mixed orientation couples, or societal attitudes that impact families with a gay, lesbian, or bisexual parent. This article provides that information so that professionals can help these couples improve the quality of their lives and develop skills to create a future in which homosexuality, same-gender relationships, and gay parenting are more widely accepted and legalized. This development would decrease the number of mixed-orientation marriages with closeted spouses and increase the potential for both types of families to form lasting marriages and strong family units.     

DEPRESSION IN MATURE MARRIAGES: IMPACT AND IMPLICATIONS FOR MARITAL THERAPY

Recent reviews of MFT literature have shown a failure to address mental health issues of the aging. Chief among these issues is depression, one of the most common psychological disorders found in older people. Although the relationship between depression and aging is a well-researched topic, few studies approach this common problem from a systemic perspective. Using data from a national survey of preretirement- and retirement-aged couples, this paper discusses the association between depression and marital quality in mature marriages as well the possibility of mediating variables such as the personality construct hardiness. Implications for marital therapy with older couples experiencing depression and future research are discussed.     

The Social Context of Marital Happiness in Urban Indian Couples: Interplay of Intimacy and Conflict

This research examines the happiness of 182 married, urban Hindu husbands and wives. Prior research emphasizes that the processes mediating well-being diverge across cultures with personal desires not impacting the happiness of non-Western couples. However, with globalization as self needs become important, barometers of happiness such as intimacy and conflict in a relationship assume a critical role in the quality and longevity of marriage, even for non-Western marriages in a contemporary India. Participants were 91 Indian couples, married an average of 11 years, from three socioeconomic classes, three family structures, and arranged and love marriages. Results reveal that happy couples, compared with unhappy couples, reported agreement, empathy, validation, support, and fulfilled expectations. Couples' experience and expression of intimacy, affected by social context, also predicted enhanced levels of happiness in marriage while conflict had a negative effect on marital happiness. This research suggests how personal desires may be transforming cultural practices.     

Relationships between marital quality,social, and familial interactions by residential location: Implications for human service professionals

Gerontological literature is reviewed concerning the factors contributing to marital quality of later life couples. Data are presented which compare the marital quality of older couples residing in a retirement facility and elderly couples living in the community-at-large. The couples' interactions with friends and frequency of visits with children are examined in terms of the relationship between these variables and marital quality of the subjects. Implications for practice are discussed.Ellie Brubaker is Associate Professor of Sociology at Miami University, Oxford, Ohio. Dr. Brubaker holds a Ph.D. in Social Work from the Ohio State University. Her current research is in the area of social service delivery to older families.Linda Ade-Ridder is Assistant Professor in the Department of Home Economics and Consumer Sciences and an associate of the Family and Child Studies Center at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Dr. Ade-Ridder received her Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Living at the Florida State University in 1983. Her current research is being conducted on the roles of women, including women in older marriages and eating disorders in women.     

Religious Affiliation and Marital Duration Among Those Who File for Divorce in California, 1966-1971

A two percent random sample of couples filing for divorce in California from 1966 through 1971 provides the data base for this study of religious affiliation and duration of marriage to separation. Our goal is twofold: to test the hypothesis that religious affiliation is related to marital duration to separation in the divorcing population, and to examine the conditions under which this relationship holds by using elaboration analysis. Our findings are in the expected direction for the most part, namely, that the percentage of individuals whose marriages lasted five years or more before separation was higher for Jewish and slightly higher for other (Conservative) Protestants, than for the National Council Protestants (Liberal) or Roman Catholics or those reporting no religious affiliation. Thus religious affiliation does make some differences. In addition, this finding holds true for the most part when we controlled on a series of third variables to see what impact they had on the zero order relationship.     

A Comparison of High‐ and Low‐Distress Marriages That End in Divorce

We used data from Waves 1 and 2 of the National Survey of Families and Households to study high‐ and low‐distress marriages that end in divorce. A cluster analysis of 509 couples who divorced between waves revealed that about half were in high‐distress relationships and the rest in low‐distress relationships. These 2 groups were not artifacts of the timing of the interview or of measurement error. Irrespective of marital quality, couples who divorced shared many risk characteristics, such as having divorced parents. Individuals in high‐distress marriages reported increases in happiness following divorce, whereas those in low‐distress marriages reported declines in happiness. These results suggest two basic motivations to divorce: poor relationship quality and a weak commitment to marriage.     

Ethno-Linguistic Exogamy and Divorce: Does Marital Duration Matter?

This research examines whether the exogamy effect on the divorce risk varies over marital duration. Registry data from 1970 to 2003 allow us to observe couples in exogamous and endogamous ethno-linguistic marriages (Finnish speakers and Swedish speakers in Finland). We find that an elevated divorce risk of exogamous couples, which has been observed in numerous studies, is not typical of recently initiated marriages only, because it does not attenuate over marital duration. Marital problems that lead to divorce seem to be more common among exogamous couples than among endogamous couples. We argue that these patterns are likely due to group-specific differences in attitudes toward marriage. The argument is supported by a persistent difference in the divorce risk across endogamous Finnish- and Swedish-speaking marriages, and by the variation in divorce risk by ethno-linguistic composition of the couples in a regional context where minority group behaviors are more likely absorbed into majority group behaviors.     

Age Differences Between Spouses: Sociodemographic Variation and Selection

Throughout the world, marriages in which the husband is older than his wife are more common than same-age and women-older marriages. Yet there is surprisingly little systematic knowledge about within-country variation in spousal age differences. This study used comprehensive Swedish register data to investigate how age differences in newly married couples were associated with spouses' age, gender, education, income, and birthplace. Among both women and men, small age differences were most common among the highly educated, high-income earners, and native Swedes, whereas persons with low education, low income, and non-Swedish origin more often entered marriages with large age differences, particularly men-older marriages. Findings are discussed in relation to theoretical attempts to explain spousal age differences and sociodemographic selection into couples with different age relationships.     

Divorce and Remarriage in Norway: A Prospective Cohort Study Between 1981 and 2013

ABSTRACT

As the population of divorced adults has increased, the number of remarriages has followed. Previous research has mainly compared first-time marriages with remarriages, whereas this study analyzes 4 different constellations of marriages: first time for both spouses, first time for one and second time for the other, second time for both, and third time or more for at least one member of the couple. The analyses are based on data from all Norwegian 2-sex marriages formed from 1981 to 2013, for a total of more than 770,000 marriages. The findings indicate that remarried couples are considerably more prone to divorce compared to couples married for the first time, particularly marriages in which both partners are remarried and marriages in which at least one of the partners is married for the third time or more. The differences between the various groups of marriages decline with a longer duration of the marriage.     

The Role of Friendship,Trust, and Love in Happy German Marriages

The purpose of this qualitative study was to explore the role that friendship, trust, and love played in the courtship and marriages of eleven German heterosexual couples (twenty-two individuals, including three couples of mixed national heritage) who reported their marriages to be happy. A conceptual model is proposed of how the components of friendship, trust, and love (i.e., love experienced as emotion, behavior, and commitment) may form a foundation for happy German marriages. Identified themes inform suggestions for how these findings can be used by educators, practitioners, and clergy to support and strengthen German marriages.     

Household Income and Trajectories of Marital Satisfaction in Early Marriage

Are the marriages of lower income couples less satisfying than the marriages of more affluent couples? To address this question, we compared trajectories of marital satisfaction among couples with a wide range of household incomes. The marital satisfaction of 862 Black, White, and Latino newlywed spouses (N = 431 couples) was assessed five times, each 9 months apart, during the first 4 years of marriage. Lower income couples did not have less satisfying marriages on average, nor did their satisfaction decline more steeply on average. They did, however, experience (a) significantly greater fluctuations in marital satisfaction across assessments and (b) significantly more variability between husbands and wives. If efforts to support the marriages of low‐income couples are to address the unique characteristics of their marital development, these findings suggest that efforts to stabilize their marriages may be more effective than efforts to improve their satisfaction alone.     

Marital Therapy, Retreats, and Books: The Who, What, When, and Why of Relationship Help-Seeking

When doubts creep in and marriages begin to falter, where do couples turn for assistance? In a longitudinal study of 213 couples over the first 5 years of marriage, results indicated relationship help‐seeking was relatively common, with 36% of couples seeking some form of outside help during this period. Individual and relationship difficulties predicted increased use of relationship books and marital therapy in the following year; therefore, these behaviors appear to be important outlets for relationship assistance. In contrast, attending marriage retreats/workshops was related only to demographic variables. Results of the present study suggest that the most common types of relationship help‐seeking by community couples are understudied and likely underutilized in the dissemination of empirically based marital interventions.     

Does similarity breed marital and sexual satisfaction?

This study examined the effect of socioeconomic-cultural homogamy on the marital and sexual satisfaction of Hong Kong Chinese couples. Using a representative, territory-wide sample of 1,083 first-time married heterosexual couples, this study found that wives were generally less satisfied than their husbands with their marital and sexual relationships. Husbands were more likely to be satisfied with their marriages when they were two to four years older than their wives than when they were of similar age to their wives (i.e., within one year of each other), but they were less likely to be satisfied with their marriages when only their wives were employed than when both partners were employed. In addition, they were less likely to be satisfied with both their marital and sexual relationships when their wives were five or more years older. Wives with an older husband were more likely to be sexually satisfied than wives of the same age as their husband, but they were less likely to be satisfied with their marriages when they were better educated than their husbands. The implications of the findings are discussed.     

Marriage Form and Son Preference in Rural China: An Investigation in Three Counties*

Abstract Using data from two surveys in three counties among which the prevalence of uxorilocal marriage varies greatly, this paper analyzes effects of marriage form, as well as individual, family, and social factors on son preference in the context of strict birth control in rural China. It is shown that, under the Chinese patrilineal joint family system, son preference can be inferred from the reproductive behavior of couples in virilocal marriage but not from that of couples in uxorilocal marriage. However, the negative effect of uxorilocal marriage on son preference is likely to depend on other factors. For all three counties, women married after the 1990s are less likely to have preference for sons; in regions with low prevalence of uxorilocal marriages, son preference is stronger for virilocally married couples with more sisters or having first birth at older age, and for couples whose marriages were arranged by others; in regions with high prevalence of uxorilocal marriages but under-developed economies, higher educated women in uxorilocal marriages have stronger son preference. Son preference differs greatly among the three counties and increased prevalence of uxorilocal marriage may significantly weaken son preference. These findings relate to changes in rural family and marriage customs during the current demographic and social transition, and suggest new approaches to weakening son preference while maintaining low fertility in rural China.     

Religious homogamy and marital duration among those who file for divorce in California, 1966-1971

The hypothesis that having a common religion is associated with more stable marriages is tested using California data on divorce for the period 1966-1971. The results confirm the hypothesis, and the authors note that "religious homogamy among Jewish couples is associated with longer [marriage] duration than any other group. Couples who report no religious affiliation appear to be at greatest risk of early filing for divorce. The religious groupings include the Jewish, the Conservative Protestant, the Liberal Protestant, the Roman Catholic and those with no religious affiliation."     

Racial/Ethnic Intermarried Couples and Marital Interaction: Marital Issues and Problem Solving

Abstract

Throughout history interracial/interethnic marriages have been considered an extreme deviation from the marital norm and thus inappropriate by the standards of mainstream society and minority communities. Even today, societal views of intermarried couples often remain negative in nature. This negative perception is frequently sustained by the assumption that intermarried couples experience race / ethnic-based differences in social, moral, and living standards that result in marriages that are fraught with conflict and instability. The mate selection literature however, would suggest that intermarried couples are not socially deficient, but are similar to those who marry within their racial / ethnic group. This research is intended to fill a gap in the literature by exploring the interpersonal, interactive aspects of interracial/interethnic marriages. In particular, this study evaluates intermarried couples as they interact during videotaped sessions of cooperative problem solving to determine if they are similar to, or distinct from, intramarried couples. Data from two aspects of the marital interaction are presented: the types of marital problems encountered and the manner in which couples attempt to resolve these issues. Findings show that while race/ethnicity did not emerge as an issue for intermarried couples, they were confronting different marital issues than intramarried couples. In addition, intermarrieds often employ different interactional styles than intramarrieds when dealing with their marital issues.     

Mexican American and Other Hispanic Couples’ Relationship Dynamics: A Review to Inform Interventions Aimed at Promoting Healthy Relationships

Public policy initiatives have set out to promote healthy relationships among low-income racial and ethnic-minority couples. Interventions used, however, are based on decades of research with primarily White, middle-class, college-educated couples and have yielded disappointing results. The aim of this literature review is to provide the reader with the current state of knowledge on relationship dynamics among the fastest growing ethnic-minority group in the United States: Mexican American (MA) Hispanics and other Hispanic subgroups. Thirty-seven empirical journal articles focusing on the following domains of interest were reviewed: (1) patterns of union formation and dissolution, (2) ideals and views about marriage, (3) relationship satisfaction and quality, (4) communication and conflict, and (5) unique themes. MA couples have higher marital rates, a decreased risk of marital dissolution, and report greater relationship satisfaction than African American couples. First-generation and less acculturated MA couples have a decreased risk of experiencing marital dissolution and dissatisfaction than second- and third-generation MA couples. Cultural variables such as family values and religion seem to play an important role in MA and other Hispanic couples’ relationship satisfaction and stability. In the interest of enhancing the effectiveness of intervention efforts directed at these couples, future research should focus on elucidating the mechanisms by which acculturation impacts MA couple functioning, examining the impact of other facets of relationship quality (e.g., emotional intimacy, support) on marital satisfaction, broadening samples to include other Hispanic subgroups, and exploring the types of services and method of delivery that MA and other Hispanic couples would like to receive. Limitations and strengths of the existing literature are discussed.     

Does Similarity Breed Marital and Sexual Satisfaction?

This study examined the effect of socioeconomic–cultural homogamy on the marital and sexual satisfaction of Hong Kong Chinese couples. Using a representative, territory-wide sample of 1,083 first-time married heterosexual couples, this study found that wives were generally less satisfied than their husbands with their marital and sexual relationships. Husbands were more likely to be satisfied with their marriages when they were two to four years older than their wives than when they were of similar age to their wives (i.e., within one year of each other), but they were less likely to be satisfied with their marriages when only their wives were employed than when both partners were employed. In addition, they were less likely to be satisfied with both their marital and sexual relationships when their wives were five or more years older. Wives with an older husband were more likely to be sexually satisfied than wives of the same age as their husband, but they were less likely to be satisfied with their marriages when they were better educated than their husbands. The implications of the findings are discussed.