Out of the Darkness: Three Waves of Family Research and the Emergence of Family Therapy for Lesbian and Gay People

Like family relationships themselves, the history and treatment of lesbian and gay people and their families is complicated. For this paper, three waves of research on the families of gay and lesbian individuals are described. During the first wave, gay and lesbian sexual orientation was seen as a disease and family dynamics were blamed for its genesis. Subsequently in the second wave it was believed that, fearing rejection many gay and lesbian people either distanced or were rejected from their own families and established friendship networks that have been described as families of choice. More recently, in the third wave, the family has been identified as a resource for lesbian and gay youth whereby open relationships with parents can help protect them from mental illness, substance abuse, and HIV risk. Furthermore, an increasing number of same-sex couples are choosing to become parents, overcoming biological and social obstacles. In this article these shifting views of the role of family in the lives of lesbian and gay people will be described along with case material that illustrates the historic influences, current developments and future directions of family treatment for this population. To be maximally effective with gay and lesbian people and their families, clinical social workers and other mental health professionals must understand how family therapy has been influenced by a progression of ideas that continue to evolve. In this paper, research examining the role of the family in the lives of lesbian and gay people will be described in three waves; as a source of blame, to an impediment to gay and lesbian happiness and ultimately a resource that can enhance lesbian and gay well-being. The influences of research on family therapy with this population will be described and case examples will demonstrate how to harness the strengths of family relationships identified in the most recent wave.     

Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents

ABSTRACT

The purpose of this paper is to review the research literature concerning the development of children with gay and lesbian parents. It begins by discussing some of the social, theoretical, and legal implications of studying this population, and critiques a number of the assumptions guiding this research. The review then proceeds to include studies on children of divorced lesbian and gay parents, as well as studies conducted on children of gay and lesbian families that are planned. The body of literature generally concludes that children with lesbian and gay parents are developing psychologically, intellectually, behaviorally, and emotionally in positive directions, and that the sexual orientation of parents is not an effective or important predictor of successful child development. The paper also includes a discussion of the limitations of these studies, provides suggestions for future research, and discusses the challenge these families pose for the meaning and definition of family.     

LG(BT) Families and Counting

Counting and understanding lesbian and gay families have gained attention over the last decade in popular culture, policy, and academic research. Contentious debates on family values and same‐sex marriage, increasing rates of social tolerance for homosexuality, and a greater general academic attention on issues of sexual orientation have partially spurred this attention in demographic analysis of lesbian and gay families. It is becoming increasingly clear that sexual orientation and gender identity have an effect on demographic processes and life outcomes. Although not perfect, practically speaking, drawing on nationally representative survey data has allowed us to illuminate the presence of same‐sex families and their children. These findings have an iterative relationship with social change, public policy, and increasing tolerance for diversity. This article reviews the recent demographic contributions related to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) families. Due to research concentrations, the content of this article not only mostly addresses what is known about gay and lesbian families but also offers future directions to fill research voids including a call for greater attention to and visibility for families with bisexual and transgender members.     

A Family Matter

Abstract

The 2004 debate over civil marriage for same-gender couples highlights issues faced by mixed-orientation couples after one of the spouses comes out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The disclosure becomes a family matter as their spouses and children cope with the new information and antigay attitudes. The majority of couples divorce. A minority stays married for three years or more by developing strategies that enhance the relationship, offset outside pressures, and sustain the family circle. Peers provide the most support, while therapists are often unfamiliar with sexual orientation, mixed orientation couples, or societal attitudes that impact families with a gay, lesbian, or bisexual parent. This article provides that information so that professionals can help these couples improve the quality of their lives and develop skills to create a future in which homosexuality, same-gender relationships, and gay parenting are more widely accepted and legalized. This development would decrease the number of mixed-orientation marriages with closeted spouses and increase the potential for both types of families to form lasting marriages and strong family units.     

After coming out: Parental acceptance of young lesbian and gay people

This study examines extant scholarly knowledge on parental acceptance of young lesbian and gay people in traditional heteronormative families. Recent literature shows that parents generally accept their lesbian and gay children. However, parents do not always accept them immediately after they come out. Acceptance takes time, and transitioning to acceptance is often a complex process that depends on parents' access to the necessary resources for coping with the stresses of knowing that their child identifies as lesbian or gay. These resources include counseling or therapy, supportive friends and extended family, and a network of other parents with lesbian and gay children. This study also highlights the need for further research on parental acceptance in nontraditional families and of children with other nonheterosexual identities, such as asexuality, gray ace, bisexuality, or pansexuality. It also calls for an exploration of the complexities of parental acceptance as an ongoing process rather than as a singular event.     

Youth Perspectives on Being Adopted from Foster Care by Lesbian and Gay Parents: Implications for Families and Adoption Professionals

ABSTRACT

This article presents findings from a qualitative study on the perspectives of youth who were adopted from the United States foster care system by lesbian and gay parents and includes focus group data from adopted persons and survey data from adoptive parents. This study fills a unique gap in the literature by hearing directly from the youth through focus groups. Findings indicated that children use a variety of strategies for sharing or not sharing that their parents are gay or lesbian and that many experience bullying and teasing that may be different than experienced by other children. The children adopted by lesbian and gay parents often perceive themselves as being more accepting of others, having more understanding of people, and being more compassionate toward people than those not raised by lesbian or gay parents. Suggestions are provided for training of adoption professionals and prospective families about the challenges and benefits for youth adopted by lesbian and gay parents.     

Same‐Sex Couples,Families, and Marriage: Embracing and Resisting Heteronormativity1

This article focuses on lesbian and gay couples and families and the politics of same‐sex marriage. Drawing from the literature on same‐sex couples, same‐sex marriage, and queer theory’s concept of heteronormativity, we argue that gay and lesbian couples and families both affirm and challenge heterosexual and gendered family forms. First, we review literature that discusses how same‐sex relationships and families are similar to and different from conventional heterosexual relationships and families. Second, we discuss the socio‐legal and cultural inequalities faced by LGBT families. Third, we discuss the politics of same‐sex marriage, examining the debate among social conservatives, pro‐marriage activists, and queer critics over the desirability of same‐sex marriage. We conclude that the growing visibility of LGBT couples and families has made their exclusion from the institution of marriage more conspicuous and that recognition of LGBT relationships and families seems likely to increase.     

Men Not Included?

SUMMARY

This paper explores debates about male presence and influence in lesbian families from a critical psychology standpoint. Critical psychology encompasses a variety of radical approaches to psychological research that reject traditional psychological assumptions, concepts and methods and that seek to challenge and resist normative values. To explore aspects of the discursive terrain of male influence and to demonstrate the merits of a critical psychology of lesbian families, excerpts from an interview with a lesbian couple who are members of a planned lesbian/gay family (two mummies and a daddy) are analysed. These excerpts show that debates about male influence create live dilemmas and tensions for the lesbian couple and have important consequences for how lesbian parents negotiate and do family.     

Lesbian and Gay Parents: Their Experiences of Children's Health Care in Australia

This study investigates the experiences of lesbian and gay parents seeking health care for their children within the Australian medical system. Previously unavailable demographic data was collected on lesbian and gay families, and qualitative information was sought from parents about positive or problematic health care experiences related to sexual orientation and family constellation. Ninety-two lesbian or gay parents responded to a national postal and Web-based survey. Eighty-nine percent of respondents reported a high level of satisfaction with the health care received by their children. Despite overall satisfaction, however, 49 percent of parents identified fear of disclosure of sexual orientation, and 27 percent reported negative or problematic experiences with their children's health care related to sexual orientation or family constellation. This study indicates that fear of discrimination and homophobic attitudes towards lesbian and gay families remain a factor within the Australian health care system.     

Psychotherapy with Gay and Lesbian Families: Opportunities for Cultural Inclusion and Clinical Challenge

Many gay men and lesbians are making decisions to have children, either through pregnancy, adoption, or by blending their families. These families may seek psychotherapy for help with dynamic issues which confront all families from time to time. This article presents a context for clinicians to deepen their understanding of cultural and clinical aspects of gay and lesbian parenting. This context will be discussed through the application of concepts frm self psychology within the framework of narrative theory in order to validate gay and lesbian family experiences by through the creation and understanding of their family narratives.     

Ethnic Minority Families and Minority Gays and Lesbians

Attitudes toward sexuality differ within the diverse ethnic and racial communities that exist in the U.S., and the cultural values and beliefs surrounding sexuality play a major role in determining how individuals behave within their sociological context. The family unit is the domain where such values and beliefs are nurtured and developed. An individual's value system is shaped and reinforced within the family context which usually reflects the broader community norms. Disclosure of a gay or lesbian sexual preference and lifestyle by a family member presents challenges to ethnic minority families who tend not to discuss sexuality issues and presume a heterosexual orientation. For ethnic minority gays and lesbians the "coming out" process presents challenges in their identity formation processes and in their loyalties to one community over another. Ethnic gay men and lesbians need to live within three rigidly defined and strongly independent communities: the gay and lesbian community, the ethnic minority community, and the society at large. While each community provides fundamental needs, serious consequences emerge if such communities were to be visibly integrated and merged. It requires a constant effort to maintain oneself in three different worlds, each of which fails to support significant aspects of a person's life. The complications that arise may inhibit one's ability to adapt and to maximize personal potentials. The purpose of this paper is to examine the interaction and processes between ethnic minority communities and their gay and lesbian family members. A framework for understanding the process of change, that occurs for the gay or lesbian person as they attempt to resolve conflicts of dual minority membership, is presented. Implications for the practitioner is also discussed.     

A Comparative Analysis of Adoptive Family Functioning with Gay,Lesbian, and Heterosexual Parents and Their Children

Abstract

The objectives of this comparative study were to examine adoptive family functioning with a sample of gay, lesbian, and heterosexual adoptive parents and their children. The results suggested that parent sexual orientation is not a significant predictor of adoptive family functioning, adopted child's behavior, and parent's perceptions of helpfulness from family support networks. Furthermore, a regression analysis suggested the following variables were associated with higher levels of family functioning: adoptive parents who were previously foster parents and children who had more previous placements prior to adoption. Lower family functioning was associated with children adopted through CPS; with children who had mental health diagnoses, learning disorders, or other handicapping conditions; and with children who were in a higher grade in school. The results of this comparative study of adoptive families support the need for more methodologically rigorous research that includes gay and lesbian adoptive parents along with heterosexual parents.     

Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual,and Transgender Families

This article reviews new scholarship on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender families. The past decade witnessed rapid expansion of data and strong research designs. The most notable advance was in studies on variation among mostly planned lesbian comother families. Cumulative evidence suggests that although many of these families have comparatively high levels of shared labor and parental investment, they may not be as “genderless” as previously depicted. Gay men's diverse paths to family formation and planned parenthood have also been explored, but almost no research studies their children's experiences. Conceptualizations of sexual orientation expanded to include bisexuals and others, and some understanding of the experiences of transgender people has begun to emerge. Future work should explore relationships among members of the families they create.     

Female same-sex families in the dialectics of marginality and conformity

The article discusses the continuum between the personal and public roles of families, where two women parent together in Slovenia, against the background of the current marginal position of same-sex families in regard to rights and symbolic status, in claiming the position of same-sex parenting in the context of family models as well as in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) movement agendas. It briefly outlines the situation in Slovenia in regard to homosexuality, and then moves to discussing the outcomes of the processes and experiences of lesbian mothers that are transgressing the borders of parental and homosexual identities. These outcomes are: "justifying" and demonstrating the "appropriateness" of family life in non-heteronormative families, constructing strategies for claiming a joint parental identity, and building a sense of belonging by forming a community that is both homosexual and parental. The article draws extensively on the lived (motherhood) experiences and stories of families where parents are two female partners and reads them as negotiating a constantly shifting place between a marginal status in the broader society and a conformist character in the perspective of their non-normative sexuality. In the article, it is recognized that same-sex families in Slovenia are entering the political agenda and are thus involved in transforming both contexts-the family and homosexual identities.     

TWENTY YEARS AND STILL IN THE DARK? CONTENT ANALYSIS OF ARTICLES PERTAINING TO GAY,LESBIAN, AND BISEXUAL ISSUES IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPY JOURNALS

To what extent do marriage and family therapy journals address gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues and how does this coverage compare to allied fields? To answer these questions, a content analysis was conducted on articles published in the marriage and family therapy literature from 1975 to 1995. Of the 13,217 articles examined in 17 journals, only 77 (.006%) focused on gay, lesbian, and/or bisexual issues or used sexual orientation as a variable. Findings support the contention that gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues are ignored by marriage and family therapy researchers and scholars.     

Older Lesbian and Gay People:

Using a theoretical model of lesbian and gay identity formation, this paper examines the complex relationships between families and older gay and lesbian adults as a way to better understand the extensive variations individuals have in their relationships with themselves, presentation of self, relationships with others and their behaviors. Three potential styles of lesbian and gay identity formation are described in order to highlight the structures and dynamics involved in issues for gay and lesbian elders and their families. It is argued that by challenging heterosexism and by minimizing homophobia, older lesbian and gay people experience a successful aging process. While individuals w R o are lesbian and gay have great potential to age with a sense of power, ride and fulfillment, so do the families from which they came an those they have created.     

Learning Difference

SUMMARY

This paper explores some of the relationships between the ways in which (White) dominant group children learn about racial differences and the ways in which difference is represented within gay and lesbian families. Research in the latter area has typically provided two dominant (though contrasting) accounts of difference within gay or lesbian families: (1) that children of gay or lesbian parents will have a better understanding of difference; and (2) that there are no significant differences between heterosexual and gay or lesbian families. In order to explore the implications of this current research in regards to constructions of difference within predominantly White gay and lesbian families, an analysis of storybooks aimed at children with gay or lesbian parents was conducted. The findings suggest that representations of difference within such books often reinforce a White heterosexual norm for parenting. To counter this, it is proposed that a shift is required in research focusing on gay and lesbian families, the intent being both to examine the simultaneous ways in which race privilege and sexuality-based discrimination shape the lives of White lesbian or gay parents and to broaden the scope of research in this area to more adequately reflect the diverse communities it seeks to represent.     

Chapter 14. Older Lesbian and Gay Caregivers

SUMMARY

This chapter will explore the experiences of older lesbian and gay men caregivers by examining the socio-historical times in which they have lived, the impact of a lifetime of adverse societal messages about homosexuality, family rejection, and internalized homophobia, as well as their development of resiliency and psychological well-being. Once the contextual issues have been identified, the research on older lesbian and gay caregivers for families of origin and families of choice will be explored.     

Queering the Home

Abstract

In the West, the private sphere of the home is traditionally associated with the heterosexual nuclear family. Through social, cultural, and legal processes, the heterosexual bond has been constructed as central to the family home. Despite these dominant discourses, the home is also a space in which heteronormativity (or the unacknowledged assumption that heterosexuality is the natural and normal form of sexuality) may be subverted. This article considers how the domestic lives of lesbian and gay couples in England challenge the heteronormativity prevalent in dominant discourses of the home. Drawing on in-depth interviews with lesbians and gay men, the article continues to extend and build on the existing literature on queer domesticity by focusing on how lesbian and gay couples divide and understand domestic labor in their homes. The perceived normativity of coupled domesticity and childrearing means that on the one hand the lesbian and gay participants in this study could be seen to fit in with normative ideals of domestic family life. On the other hand, I show how these couples subvert heteronormative assumptions about gendered household practices through their approaches and attitudes towards domestic labor and parenting. In particular, the article focuses on the complex ways in which lesbian and gay couples destabilize traditional domestic gender roles and queer the spaces of the home through the seemingly unremarkable, mundane practices and negotiations of domestic labor and childcare.     

Lesbian and Gay Couples Considering Parenthood:

When Americans reflect on what matters most to them, they often point to relationships with families and children. Historically, lesbian and gay Americans have faced legal, economic, and other forms of discrimination against their family relationships in general, and against their relationships with children in particular. Despite this history of discrimination, however, lesbians and gay men continue to form families, and many either are or wish to become parents. In this paper, I discuss special needs of lesbian and gay couples that are considering parenthood describe innovative services that have been developed to meet these needs, and identify directions for future research, service, and advocacy. Much work remains to be done before lesbian and gay Americans will be able to seek parenthood unencumbered by the burdens of prejudice, discrimination, and institutionalized heterosexism.