Explaining Mothers' Ambivalence Toward Their Adult Children

Interest in applying the concept of ambivalence to the study of intergenerational relations has increased in recent years. However, few empirical studies of this issue have been conducted. Using data from a study of 189 mothers aged 60 and over, the authors examine sources of ambivalence regarding the quality of their relationships with adult children. They hypothesized that adult children's failure to achieve and maintain normative adult statuses and financial independence and mother's developmental stage will predict ambivalent assessments of the relationship. Regression analyses supported these hypotheses and also revealed that the variables predicting ambivalence differed from those that predicted closeness and interpersonal stress.     

Ambivalence Toward Adult Children: Differences Between Mothers and Fathers

The authors examined how ambivalence toward adult children within the same family differs between mothers and fathers and whether patterns of maternal and paternal ambivalence can be explained by the same set of predictors. Using data collected in the Within‐Family Differences Study, they compared older married mothers' and fathers' (N = 129) assessments of ambivalence toward each of their adult children (N = 444). Fathers reported higher levels of ambivalence overall. Both mothers and fathers reported lower ambivalence toward children who were married, better educated, and who they perceived to hold similar values; however, the effects of marital status and education were more pronounced for fathers, whereas the effect of children's value congruence was more pronounced for mothers. Fathers reported lower ambivalence toward daughters than sons, whereas mothers reported less ambivalence toward sons than daughters.     

Assistance to Aging Parents and Parents‐In‐Law: Does Lineage Affect Family Allocation Decisions?

In this analysis we used data from the Health and Retirement Study to examine how couples organize transfers of assistance to aging parents and whether the flow of assistance is structured by family lineage. We found evidence of a tradeoff between types of assistance and a unilineal pattern of assistance. Few couples provided both time and money, and few assisted parents and parents‐in‐law. The determinants of assistance varied by type of care, recipient, and patterns of parental survival. Couples were more responsive to the needs of the wife's parent(s) and were less likely to exclude her parents from care even under circumstances of competition. Controlling for resources, African American and Hispanic couples were consistently more likely to provide assistance.     

Solidarity and Conflict Between Adult Children and Parents: A Latent Class Analysis

Using multiple dimensions of solidarity and conflict in a latent class analysis, we develop a typology of adult child–parent relationships. The data (N= 4,990) are from the first wave of the Netherlands Kinship Panel Study. In descending order of relationship quality, the 5 types are harmonious (akin to relationships with friends), ambivalent (intensive exchange of material support accompanied by strain), obligatory (just keeping in touch), affective (emotionally supportive with few other meaningful exchanges), and discordant (predominantly negative engagement). The types are differentiated by gender, age, family size, geographic distance, and parental marital history, indicating that they are not fixed but are shaped by social‐structural conditions.     

Mothers' Differentiation and Depressive Symptoms Among Adult Children

Parents' differentiation has been linked to negative psychological and behavioral outcomes in children, adolescents, and young adults. This line of research, however, has not been extended to families in later life. In this article, we use data from 671 mother‐child dyads in 275 families in the greater Boston area to explore whether mothers' differentiation among their children is related to psychological well‐being among offspring. We examined actual and perceived maternal differentiation in the domains of closeness, expectations for care, and conflict. We hypothesized that depressive symptoms would be higher when mothers differentiated among their children and when adult children perceived differentiation. Although the specific patterns varied somewhat by mothers' and children's reports, the findings indicated that, across all 3 domains, maternal differentiation was related to higher depression scores.     

Short‐Term Reciprocity in Late Parent‐Child Relationships

Long‐term concepts of parent‐child reciprocity assume that the amount of support given and received is only balanced in a generalized fashion over the life course. We argue that reciprocity in parent‐child relationships also operates in the short term. Our analysis of short‐term reciprocity focuses on concurrent exchange in its main upward and downward currencies, time and money. Fixed‐effects models with data from SHARE (N = 8,816 dyads) revealed that within a family, parents gave financial transfers to those children who supported them with time transfers of help and care. Reciprocal patterns emerged most clearly if parents were highly dependent, received intense support, and had sufficient financial opportunities to reciprocate. We conclude that short‐term reciprocity eases the burden of late parent‐child relationships.     

Listening to Older Adult Parents of Adult Children With Mental Illness

This article uses qualitative research and narrative analysis to examine the experience of women age 55 and older who are parents caring for adult children with mental illness. Knowledge about the conflicts of older parents with dependent children is underdeveloped. In this study, analysis of women's stories about parenting in later life reveal that the women have two sets of feelings: wanting to be free from the responsibility of caregiving and feeling responsible to continue the support and protection of their adult vulnerable children. The women's conflicts are palpable and are found in the ideational themes of the narratives, as well as the structure of how the narratives are spoken. The discussion highlights the relevance of the theory of ambivalence for clinical practice when working with older women who are caregivers for their adult dependent children.     

Giving to the Good and the Needy: Parental Support of Grown Children

Parents may provide many types of support to their grown children. Parents age 40 to 60 (N = 633) reported the support they exchange with each child over age 18 (N = 1,384). Mothers and fathers differentiated among children within families, but provided emotional, financial, and practical help on average every few weeks to each child. Offspring received most assistance when they (a) had greater needs (because of problems or younger age) or (b) were perceived as more successful. Parents received more from high achieving offspring. Findings support contingency theory; parents give more material and financial support to children in need. Motivation to enhance the self or to assure support later in life may explain support to high achieving offspring.     

Sociological Ambivalence and Family Ties: A Critical Perspective

We develop the concept of ambivalence as structurally created contradictions that are made manifest in interaction. We discuss how our reconceptualization enhances the relevance of ambivalence to sociological analyses of family ties. Ambivalence is a particularly useful concept when imbedded in a theoretical framework that views social structure as structured social relations, and individuals as actors who exercise agency as they negotiate relationships within the constraints of social structure. The strengths of conceptualizing ambivalence within this framework are illustrated with examples of caring for older family members and of balancing paid work and family responsibilities.     

Long‐Term Influences of Intergenerational Ambivalence on Midlife Parents' Psychological Well‐being

We investigated changes in midlife parents' intergenerational ambivalence toward a focal child and its influence on their psychological well‐being over 14 years, as the focal child moved from adolescence into young adulthood. We estimated growth curve models using three waves of data from the National Survey of Families and Households (N = 1,510 parents aged 35–54 years at Time 1). Parental ambivalence declined over time, equally among mothers and fathers. The prediction from ambivalence theory that children's attainment of adult statuses reduces parental ambivalence received only modest support. Only the focal child's marriage reduced parental ambivalence. The focal child's lifestyle–behavioral problems during adolescence still elevated ambivalence 14 years later, albeit less so. For its part, intergenerational ambivalence counteracted trends toward declining depressive symptoms and greater happiness for mothers and fathers alike, and its effects remained constant over time.     

Ambivalence in Older Parent–Adult Child Relationships: Mixed Feelings,Mixed Measures

This research compared direct and indirect measures of ambivalence, 2 commonly used strategies for measuring intergenerational ambivalence between older parents and their adult children. Directly and indirectly measured ambivalence, corresponding to felt and potential manifestations of the construct, were contrasted with each other and across generations. Data were derived from 253 older parent–adult child dyads participating in the Longitudinal Study of Generations in 2005. Direct and indirect measures of ambivalence were moderately correlated with each other within each generation. Children expressed greater indirect ambivalence than their parents but were no different than their mothers or fathers in their levels of direct ambivalence. Multivariate regression analyses examining the relationship between each type of ambivalence with individual and relationship characteristics found differences in associations across equations. The results suggest that direct and indirect measures are related but represent 2 distinct conceptions of ambivalence. This research highlights the challenges in understanding the full complexity of intergenerational relations and suggests that both generational perspectives be considered in future research.     

Feeling Caught Between Parents: Adult Children's Relations With Parents and Subjective Well‐Being

Research on divorce has found that adolescents’ feelings of being caught between parents are linked to internalizing problems and weak parent‐child relationships. The present study estimates the effects of marital discord, as well as divorce, on young adult offspring's feelings of being caught in the middle (N =632). Children with parents in high‐conflict marriages were more likely than other children to feel caught between parents. These feelings were associated with lower subjective well‐being and poorer quality parent‐child relationships. Offspring with divorced parents were no more likely than offspring with continuously married parents in low‐conflict relationships to report feeling caught. Feelings of being caught appeared to fade in the decade following parental divorce. These results suggest that, unlike children of divorce, children with parents in conflicted marriages (who do not divorce) may be unable to escape from their parents’ marital problems—even into adulthood.     

Assisting Parents and In‐Laws: Gender,Type of Assistance,and Couples’ Employment

We use 1995 MIDUS data (n = 2,085) to assess whether the gender gap in help persists across different types of help (unpaid task assistance, emotional support, financial assistance) to parents and in‐laws. We also examine whether joint employment patterns influence levels of help. Persistent gender differences are identified in levels of emotional support to parents and in‐laws: Women spend more time than men giving this help. There are no gender differences in levels of unpaid task assistance or financial assistance to parents or in‐laws. Individuals in single‐earner couples, however, provide greater levels of unpaid task assistance to in‐laws and financial assistance to parents than individuals in dual‐earner couples. Furthermore, financial assistance to parents is positively linked to work hours.     

Intergenerational Exchanges of Middle‐Aged Adults With Their Parents and Parents‐In‐Law in Korea

The authors investigated patterns of support exchanges between Korean adult children and their parents and parents‐in‐law, gender differences in these patterns, and implications of children's marital quality for exchange patterns. Data were from a nationally representative sample of married adults (N = 920, age 30–59 years) with at least 1 living parent and 1 living parent‐in‐law. Latent class analysis was applied to 12 indicators of exchanges (financial, instrumental, emotional support given to and received from parents and parents‐in‐law). Five classes of exchanges were identified, 3 showing balanced patterns of exchanges with parents and parents‐in‐law across three types of support and 2 classes with unbalanced patterns (e.g., giving instrumental and financial but not emotional support). The findings revealed variability in intergenerational exchange patterns, with a mix of patrilineal traditional and balanced patterns. Significant associations of exchange patterns with adult children's marital quality suggest the importance of balanced exchanges with parents for marriage.     

Parents’ Reports of Sexual Communication With Children in Kindergarten to Grade 8

We examined factors associated with parents’ reports of three aspects of parent‐child sexual communication, quality, frequency with which parents encouraged questions, and extent of communication, on each of 10 sexual health topics. Participants were 3,413 mothers and 426 fathers with children in kindergarten to grade 8. Parents’ demographic characteristics, own sexual health education, knowledge and comfort talking about sexuality with their children, and ratings of the importance of comprehensive school‐based sex education plus child gender and grade level were uniquely related to their self‐reported sexual communication with their children, although different predictors were associated with various topics. These results highlight the need to include characteristics of parents, their children, and the communication itself in research on parent‐child sexual communication.     

Estrangement Between Mothers and Adult Children: The Role of Norms and Values

Relationships between mothers and their children are expected to be lifelong and rewarding for both members of the dyad. Because of the salience of these ties, they are likely to be disrupted only under conditions of extreme relational tension and dissatisfaction. In this work, the authors drew on theoretical arguments regarding societal norm violations and value similarity to examine the processes that lead to estrangement between mothers and adult children. To address this issue, they used quantitative and qualitative data on 2,013 mother–adult child dyads nested within 561 later life families, including 64 in which mothers reported being estranged from at least 1 of their children. Value dissimilarity was found to be a strong predictor of estrangement, whereas violation of serious societal norms was not. Qualitative data revealed that value dissimilarity created severe relational tension between mothers and adult children leading to estrangement.