‘Yes,but ... ’: When Separation Creates an Identity Vacuum

This paper explores the ethical and therapeutic dilemmas of working with clients who come in session after session with an intense need to rehearse and re-rehearse their own view, following a separation. This is a particularly difficult client group with which to work. Individuals may be suicidal, want help, and yet are much more aware of their own words than anyone else's. Four such clients are discussed. I will speculate why three out of four are male, look at the ethics of continuing to work with them, suggest possible strategies, and raise implications for therapist training. The ‘Yes, but ...’ is both the clients’ and mine.