The Decision to Divorce

The decision to terminate an unhappy marriage through obtaining a divorce is almost never an easy decision for either spouse. It is usually reached only after other options and alternatives have been considered and then rejected as non-viable solutions to the problems that have developed between the spouses. As Bernard (1970: 3) has noted, despite the increasing frequency of its occurence, "It is not likely that divorce will ever become matterof- fact, nor that it will ever become painless or casual or nonchalant . . . It will probably always be an extremely painful experience for most people, as breaking close ties always is, even outside marriage." From this perspective, our coming to terms with divorce means only that we recognize its inevitability in many cases and try to mitigate some of the worst of its consequences. In this paper we review the process through which a sample of 500 respondents reached the decision to obtain a divorce. Specifically, major problems that existed in their relationship that prompted them to finally seek a legal termination of their union will be considered. In addition, we will examine barriers that had to be overcome before that decision was finally reached as well as major sources of social support that encouraged the decision. We will begin with a brief theoretical review of the major orientations that have been developed in the literature to account for the process through which the individual ultimately decides to seek a divorce.