"I was a dark horse in the eyes of her family": the relationship of cohabiting female couples and their families in Hungary

This article focuses on the relationship of female couples with their parents, siblings, and other relatives by exploring various patterns of coming out and family attitudes. After reviewing existing literature in this field, the article explores the extent to which my interviewees are out to their family, the reasons for and the possible complications about staying in the closet. Next the parents' reactions are discussed, which range from complete rejection through not admitting the truth to themselves to acceptance. Parents find it difficult to come out about their daughter to their immediate environment, as they fear prejudice and being blamed for her sexual orientation. This can also lead to conflict and alienation between parents and daughter. Accepting a person's sexual orientation and relationship, however, is only the first step toward her full integration into the family. Full inclusion in the family is only present when the person's same-sex partner is treated as kin to the same extent as an opposite-sex partner would be. This is demonstrated in a variety of ways, such as the names used (especially by the couple's children) and the system of obligations and favors constituting a formative element of kinship. There might be conflicts, however, when the two partners have different backgrounds and thus different expectations of family relations.