PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION IN COMMON COUPLE DANCES

This paper integrates the object relations concept of projective identification and the systemic concept of marital dances to develop a more powerful model for working with more difficult and distressed couples. This integrated model explains how some couples use the defenses of splitting and projective identification to externalize and transpose internal conflicts into interpersonal conflicts in five common marital dances. The author suggests how object relations techniques can be used to interrupt the projective identifications, help clients to reown their disowned and projected affects and resolve the conflict on the intrapsychic level so that the marital dance is no longer necessary to resolve the intrapsychic issues.