Making Sense of Dissatisfaction during the Transition to Motherhood through Relational Dialectics Theory

Motherhood is a complicated experience as well as concept in U.S. society, and while several notions of motherhood circulate in U.S. culture, they are not equally accepted. Their unequal circulation is the focus of our study. Using relational dialectics theory, we sought to identify dominant and marginalized discourses evoked by new mothers who are dissatisfied with their transition to motherhood. Twenty women with a first child under the age of two years old shared their experiences during semi-structured interviews. These mothers’ talk reflects a variant on dominant discourses of motherhood – the Discourse of Motherhood as Innately Desired (DMID) where wanting to be, as well as looking like, a “good” mother are subthemes. However, the Discourse of Motherhood as Learned (DML) served as a counterpoint for sense-making that offers space for alternative, albeit marginalized, understandings of motherhood where it is not assumed as the primary goal for women nor a natural extension of their womanhood.