Relational Ethics and Moral Blindness: Startling Incongruities in Couple and Family Life

This article explores the common experience of working with couples and family members who describe their partners and children as important to them yet at the same time are cavalier, neglectful, ignorant, and even destructive in dealings with their loved ones. People who fail to relate ethically are said to be prone to have stagnant relationships, become corrupt in seeking solutions to moral problems, be more depressed, have poorer health problems, and experience lower quality relationships. This article describes ethical fading and moral blindness in couples and families and in our work as therapists. It argues a relational ethics frame that fosters ethical sensitivity and stronger moral identity both in ourselves and others is an important addition to our therapeutic repertoire.