The myth of the surrogate∗

There is as yet no method in general use comparable to couple sex therapy for the treatment of individuals. It is proposed that the development of such a method is impeded not only by the stressful nature of newly‐created treatment relationships, but also by the age‐old belief that this stress can be eliminated by finding the right substitute partner. This belief has sustained inappropriately simple strategies for the treatment of individuals despite negative findings, giving it the status of a myth. Although Masters and Johnson recognize that the stress cannot be so easily eliminated, in their reliance on the surrogate to bypass this stress, they have lent indirect support to the myth. As a consequence, we now have the myth of the surrogate, a treatment conception that creates performance pressure in the surrogate and thus is likely to reinforce performance anxiety in the patient. Guidelines for alternative methods are suggested, including the use of a co‐therapy structure, with body‐work a potential rather than a requirement and with more attention paid to the subjective experiences of the participants.