For the child's sake: parents and social workers discuss conflict-filled parental relations after divorce

After a divorce, the former partners have to form new relationships between themselves as parents, and with their children. What does this reconstruction involve? What are the tasks facing the parents? What are the areas of conflict? This paper attempts to answer these questions. Eight initial sessions of parental mediation were chosen for the analysis. The analysis indicates that statements about the ways in which parents are entitled to their children, and vice versa, are common denominators for the transition from nuclear family parenting to post‐nuclear family parenting. In the sessions, parents dealt with this duty by fighting a battle for a place in the children’s lives. The battles were expressed in negotiations about time and place. The analysis revealed two different solutions to the problem of the parents’ entitlements. One was the creation of the homogeneous family, with one parent and the children living together in a close relationship, giving the other parent visiting rights. The other was to form a heterogeneous family, based on the idea that it is possible to build a childhood on differences and dissimilarities. Most of the conflicts originated from parents’ efforts to create homogeneous families.