The experience of motherhood for alienated mothers

This qualitative study examined the alienated mothers' experience of motherhood. Data were collected by in‐depth semi‐structured interviews with 10 women whose children refused any contact with them. Findings revealed one main theme, ‘Merging vs. detachment’, consisting of four subthemes or motifs in these women's narratives: (i) marriage as an illusion of salvation from an abusive home; (ii) giving birth to a child as compensation for chaotic childhood experiences; (iii) husband exploiting and abusing their sense of failing motherhood; and (iv) the husband and mother‐in‐law expelling the mother. These findings were interpreted within the framework of Bowen's theory. The interpretation suggests that impairment in the mothers' and ex‐husbands' differentiation of the self is manifest in the shattered mother–child relations and in the mothers' loss of their children in the struggle with their mothers‐in‐law. Implications for practice are included.