'Touch talk': the problems and paradoxes of embodied research

Drawing upon research with therapeutic bodywork practitioners in which the researcher's naked or semi-clad body was deployed as a 'touch tool' in order to access the field and generate grounded theory, this paper explores the various meanings that inhere in producing embodied research. Through unpicking a number of problems and paradoxes, a plethora of (dis)embodied bodies/selves are identified. This allows for a more nuanced exploration of the researching body since although the body is very present and visible in therapeutic body/fieldwork, it is simultaneously constituted as ephemeral, permeable and unstable; in effect, the ultimate 'disappearing act'. It is also argued that such erasure of the researching body creates tensions in terms of securing and maintaining an analytical, cerebral and sceptical researcher-self. The paper explores these problems and paradoxes in terms of seeking to achieve detachment without dissolution, and further contextualizes the discussion by drawing upon holistic, feminist and postmodern approaches to the body. Finally, the paper concludes that therapeutic bodywork gives rise to productive possibilities for embodied research endeavours and highlights the epistemological and methodological protocols that might be employed in attempting to 'bring the body back in'.