Paradoxical Peace: A Scholar-activist's Auto-ethnography on Religious Pacifism and Anti-capitalism

Abstract

How can one subscribe to forms of ethico-religious pacifism and revolutionary communism or anarchism simultaneously, let alone conceive of their adherents as comprising the same transnational social movement? The author explores this conundrum via a playful probing of her own paradoxes related to violence and peace, dualism and non-dualistic thinking, and activist engagement along with more contemplative and quiet reflection. It experiments with expressive auto-ethnography in order to convey what living in and through these paradoxes feels like, and to access and convey other kinds of insights, (self) knowledge, and wisdom, unavailable or inadmissible by more orthodox forms of social science inquiry and writing. It embraces the postmodern relationship among authors, audiences, and texts and valorizes storytelling as deeply pedagogical, constitutive, meaningful, and meaning-making phenomena. The essay weaves together newspaper headlines, apocryphal diary entries, and dream poems into a methodological bricolage drawing from postmodern, poststructural and postcolonial scholars Deleuze and Guattari, Michael Shapiro, Anna Agathangelou, and Ruth Behar among others.