Sibling Discord: A Force for Growth and Conflict

Drawing on research findings and clinical experience, this paper considers the contributions that sibling envy, jealousy, and rivalry can make to healthy development as well as the way in which sibling discord may compromise development and in some cases lead to pathology. An account of the treatment of a depressed and anxious woman, Marcia, whose pain and rage at being displaced by her 4-year-younger brother contributed to her pathology, is offered. Through attention to sibling transferences, countertransferences, and the enactments that occurred during the treatment, the paper demonstrates how an individual may misperceive and misrespond to her children as well as her therapist as if they were a sibling rival or the mother who they experienced as rejecting them in favor of a brother or sister. The paper attests to the importance of recognizing siblings as persons in their own right who hold an important place in each other’s minds, rather than as simply displacement objects for parents, as they were often regarded in the past.