“Separation Guilt” in Women Who Initiate Divorce

This paper explores the “separation guilt” of women who initiate divorce. The paper argues that the gender-specific processes of separation individuation and socialization that women undergo in childhood make them vulnerable to similar guilt feelings when they initiate divorce, only towards the husband they are leaving. It further argues that these feelings may impair their post-divorce adjustment. The paper illustrates these points with two case studies, one showing how the woman’s separation guilt thwarted the development of new intimacy, the other showing how it impaired her maternal functioning. Recommendations are made for treatment and research. Nehami Baum Ph.D., is a lecturer at the School of Social Work at Bar Ilan University. She is a social worker with experience in both public and private practice. Her special interests include non-death related loss, divorce, men in therapy, treatment termination, social work students’ professional identity formation, guilt, and social work in times of terror and political tension.