Gay, Orthodox, and trembling: the rise of Jewish Orthodox gay consciousness, 1970s-2000s

In 2001, the documentary movie, Trembling Before God, was played in Jewish and gay film festivals around the world, provoking strong emotional reactions. Trembling Before God comprises interviews with Orthodox Jewish gay and lesbian persons who vividly and movingly describe their struggles to live their lives as observant Jewish people, being faithful at the same time to their sexual desires and their religious tradition. Almost all the people interviewed in the movie expressed mixed emotions: love towards their tradition and attachment to their community of faith, coupled with resentment against a community, which in their eyes failed to respond with understanding to their emotional needs, thus adding to their pain. This article aims to modify the picture portrayed in the movie. The dilemmas and struggles of gays and lesbians who live their lives in Orthodox Jewish communities are indeed real. Orthodox gays and lesbians experience a greater dissonance between their sexuality and the values of their community and therefore face more anxieties and inner turmoils than gays and lesbians who live in more permissive environments. The struggles of gay and lesbian Orthodox Jews, however, are not necessarily greater than those of gays and lesbians who live their lives in other conservative communities. In fact, while it is almost impossible to be a sexually active gay or lesbian and a practicing Southern Baptist, Seventh-Day Adventist, Jehovah's Witness, or Mormon, it is not impossible for gays and lesbians to live their lives in an Orthodox Jewish environment. Amazingly, since the 1970s, thousands of gays and lesbians have given up on liberal environments and joined the ranks of traditionalist Jewish congregations.