Listening Behaviors of Married Couples: An Exploration of Nonverbal Presentation to a Relational Outsider

This study examined the nonverbal behaviors of spouses as they listened to their partners present an area of disagreement in their marriage to a relational outsider. Ninety-four married couples, representing a range of marital satisfaction levels, engaged in an interview with a researcher about areas of disagreement in their relationships. A rating system was used to capture the nonverbal listening behaviors of spouses from tapes of the interactions. Husbands and wives demonstrated similar composites of listening behaviors overall, but there were some differences in how the particular behaviors were enacted. Specifically, both husbands and wives enacted nonverbal listening behaviors that demonstrated negative emotion and nonverbal involvement. Results also indicated that displays of negative emotion predicted relational dissatisfaction for husbands. Displays of negative emotion did not predict relational dissatisfaction for wives. Nonverbal involvement did not predict relational satisfaction for husbands or wives in this study. These results suggest that it may be important for husbands and wives, regardless of satisfaction level, to demonstrate nonverbal involvement to both their partners and a relational outsider and that the nonverbal expression of negative emotion may be used by dissatisfied husbands as a way to let the relational outsider as well as their wives know that they disagree or are displeased with what their wives are saying.