Parents in high‐conflict custodial cases: negotiating shared care across households

Understanding the dynamics of custodial conflicts is important for reducing the level of such conflicts and improving the upbringing conditions for the children involved. The parents in these cases care for children living in two households, and our approach therefore draws on the knowledge of how ‘ordinary’ parents proceed in sharing care within and between locations. The paper is based on qualitative interviews with 15 Norwegian parents who were in contact with the child protection service during their custodial disagreements, indicating a high level of conflict and concerns about inadequate care. When describing and reflecting upon their practices of care, the parents speak from two main positions: as a concerned parent or an accused parent. These positions imply different approaches on how to share care, which offer insight into the mechanisms of getting stuck. Although the concerned parent worries about the child's well‐being while staying with the other parent and thereby aims to take a continuous responsibility across households, the accused parent perceives the co‐parent's involvement as undue and negotiates increased distance in parenting. Focusing on practices of care may contribute to turning the attention away from conflicts between former partners and towards the child's situation.